-We’ve brought together -30 of football’s top Frontmen to take penalties
until only 1 remains!
-The last to miss a penalty wins 1m pounds!
-100 times more Ebenezer Miniminter was offering!
#LEVELS!
-Let the challenge begin!
-You all don’t stand a chance…
-ROUND 1 -30 frontmen remain
-Penaldo!
-Pickford - you don’t stand a chance!
-SIU!
-WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
YES!
-SIU!
-I don’t believe it.
This is a bigger plot-twist than The Sixth Sense…
-Pessi!
-You don’t stand a chance!
-WHAAAAAAAAT?
YES!
-Get in there!
-This is a bigger plot twist than the Ronaldo miss
-Er, I don’t know about that, Lionel…
-Mbappe!
-Is that the Montpellier goalkeeper?
-Yes -I quit!
-HAHA!
-I told you it would work…
-Haaland!
-YES!
-Goddammit he’s annoying -Do you think he’ll break all of our records?
-No - very soon he’s going to have a career-ending injury
-How do you know that?
-Because I’ve arranged for him to visit the Saudi Embassy
-Ha -Erm…
-Kvaratshkvalia - is that how you say it?
-Don’t ask me -It’s like his parents ate all the scrabble
letters and vomited them up on his birth certificate
-YOU MAN - GO!
-What?
-Impressive but not allowed -Shit
-Serial Loser to Real Madrid in the Champions League, Mo Salah
-Ow -I’ve never been happier to miss a penalty
-IDIOT!
-Pele?!
-No, not Pele Harold Maguire in disguise
-Harold who?
-Harold, if you’re going to try and pass as a Frontman
-perhaps stick to footballers who are still alive
-And ones of the same ethnicity -Oh bugger
-Pele?
I thought it was Griezmann
-Aboubakar
-Hey Vincent, sorry that Al-Nassr terminated your contract to sign me.
-No hard feelings?
-No hard feelings…
-YELP -…for you for a few weeks
-Schnitzel-breath!
-Hey, Jordan…
-Yes?
-Divock Origi says your arms are so short, you can’t even touch the crossbar
-Yes I can!
-See!
-He also said your arms are so short, you can’t even touch your toes…
-Yes, I can!
-See!
-He also said, your arms are so short, you can’t even cover your eyes…
-Jordan w - -Yes I can
-See?
-No you can’t!
-What?
-HAHAHAHAHA!
-Jordan, have you ever been for an IQ test?
-Marcus Rashford -Who is having a great season since learning
so much from me in training -Ha
-That wasn’t a joke -Oh
-GO!
-Bruno!
-YES!
-Snooze you lose, Marcus.
Snooze you lose.
-Kane!
-MBE!
-ARGH -WOH!
-YES!
ERIK SIGN ME UP!
ERIK ERIK SIGN ME UP!
-Jordan - did you just intentionally dive out of the way to allow your international
teammate to score?
-Yes -Jordan! -I mean no
-Flight path is clear, I repeat, flight path is clear.
-D*CK!
Hala Madrid!
-Nunez!
-HAWAY!
-What are you doing Darwin?
-This isn’t the MLS in the 1990s Darwin!
-Weghorst
-What the hell?
-Que mira bobo, Que mira bobo
-Neymar!
-You’re taking one injured?
-No, I’ve got a stand-in…
-Eden Hazard?
-It’s Sam Smith…
-Sorry Sam - footballers only!
-But he’s my stylist/recently promoted personal assistant!
-Footballers only!
-What an outfit!
-Giroud!
-Thank god he’s gone for the short run-up, we would have been here all night
-YES!
-I’m through to the next round!
-Okay, take an hour everyone while we wait for Olivier to get out of the box…
-Kevin de Bruy- -Ow
-HAHAHA
-I said footballers only!
-They are a footballer - Everton have signed them as cover for Dominic Calvert-Lewin
-He can’t be any worse than Maupay -Urgh, fine - carry on…
-Jesus Christ -Sam…
-Handball -Oh…
-Felix
-Havertz
-Aubameyang?
-AUBAMEYANG?
-Nkunku
-CHRISTOPHER!
-ARGH!
-WHY’VE YOU NOT BEEN RETURNING OUR CALLS!
-Calvert-Lewin?
-Benzema Panenka incoming
-OW!
-That’s for not congratulating me on the Ballon d’Or
-DRAMA QUEEN!
-What the hell?
-Sorry Zlatan - you’ve been cancelled -Cancelled?
-For your previous offensive comments -What are you on about, *** ***?
-Gasp -He never learns…
-CANCELLED!
-I’m surprised he hasn’t been cancelled for that ponytail … he looks like a Centaur.
-A CENTAUR forward!
-That’s what I was going to say!
Stick to stealing goals, Harry!
-Kolo Muani
-POO EMI MARTINEZ!
-YOU’RE JUST A POO MARTINEZ!
-Lewandowski
-Well, nobody can say we didn’t give him a chance
Saka!
-Oh, come on!
-Vlahovic -WOH!
YES!
-What?
-We’re not stupid Dusan
-Cavani
-El Matador versus El Dinosaur
-Oh, hecky wecky thump!
-El Dinosaur wins!
-RARGH!
RARGH!
-You should never start a fight with a Dinosaur … you’ll get JURASSKICKED!
-Not funny -Unlike your trophy collection
-What?! -Ha
-And finally, my bestie before Cristiano, Suarez!
-OW!
-That’s for firing me from the show last week!
-Are you okay bestie?
-Yes, bestie.
Thanks for asking, bestie.
-Round 2 -6 Frontmen remain!
-New rule - -if everyone misses, Ronaldo and Messi get
the cash!
-What?!
-PLUS THERE’S A NEW GOALKEEPER -Oh, no way
-Ochoa -Ochoa?!
-O-o-choa -Harold - I know that’s you.
Where is Ochoa?
-That’s my business.
-Oh - you’re ruining our plan to win the cash.
-Harold, he shot left last time, so dive right!
-Right -Action!
-YES!
-He didn’t shoot left.
-I’m aware of that, Harold.
-Well there goes the cash…
-Not yet…
-Muller!
-Harold, he shot right last time, so dive left…
-Right -No, left
-Left, right -Oh, left, right
-Yes, left right - right -Right
-Action!
-Hey Ochoa - Simon says jump -HA!
-Simon says stand on one leg -HA!
-Now, dive left!
-JA!
-I said dive left, Ochoa!
-I know but Simon didn’t say…
-Sigh
-Bruno!
-Dive right, Harold -Right, right!
-Marcus!
-YES!
-Oh, bugger
-Kane!
-Who is being watched by none other than -Erik Ten Hag!
-Erik Ten Hag - wow!
I’M BEING SCOUTED!
-You look nervous, Harold -I’m not!
-Imagine you miss while he’s watching -I won’t!
-He won’t sign you if you miss -SHUT UP!
-Don’t bottle it, Harold!
-I WON’T - ARGHHHHHHHH
-NO!!!!!!!!!!!
-Erik, I’m sorry - please, please sign me in the summer.
Please!
Erik?
-Erik?
-What the -
-It’s a cardboard cutout!!!
-HAHA
-Please inform the US air force they can expect another foreign object in their airspace
-D*CK!
-Giroud -Who has gone for a longer run-up
-You told me to stand here!
-Go!
-Urgh
-What?
-Disqualified for time-wasting!
-Kolo Muani!
-OOPS!
-4 down, 2 to go!
-So you promise to get PSG to sign me right?
-Shhhh, Randal.
Not on camera…
-The Final Round -2 Frontmen remain!
-Haaland!
-Versus Muller!
-Versus Muller - mer mer mer mer mer
-New rule sudden death!
-What the - -Oh, I guess somebody must have told them
it was literally sudden death -I can’t think who
-Which leaves Messi and Ronaldo as winners of the 1m cash
-SIU!!!!!!
-Join us next Sunday for another awesome episode of…
-THE FRONTMEN!
Season 5!
-Subscribe for more hilarious Frontmen episodes!
Ow!
-Get out of the booth Thomas.
-We want 61,245 likes!
-And check out the Frontmen Season 5 playlist!