(00:05): Okay.
So from this question, I'm, I'm feeling that what the person is, is asking is how they,
it seems like they really wanna unconditionally love everyone around them, but there are some
people around them, uh, in the form of family members that aren't really treating them well
and they they're putting them down.
And so how do you unconditionally love someone that doesn't treat you?
Well, I guess that's, that's a better way to put the question.
How do I unconditionally love someone that does not treat me well?
Okay.
So let's put the question that way.
And, and one important thing that I wanna talk, I wanna start when it comes to unconditional
love, is that a lot of times we talk about unconditional love as being something that
we give others.
Okay.
So unconditional love in that context means that I just love the person no matter what
they're doing, I'm just, I just love them no matter what.
(00:56): And that's a, a kind of an okay definition
of unconditional love.
But the important thing about unconditional love that a lot of times people forget is
that unconditional love must be felt for, for self first.
Otherwise you can't extend it to anyone else.
Okay.
And so when I just voraciously love myself, when I love myself truly, and unconditionally
something interesting happens, I start to stand in my power and I start to impose.
Um, a lot of people use the word boundaries.
I don't really like to use the word boundaries.
I prefer to use the term rules of engagement .
So when you unconditionally love yourself, you start to expect and communicate how you
accept to be treated and how you do not accept to be treated, how you will not tolerate certain
things.
And you're very clear in that when you really unconditionally love yourself, you're clear
in how you want to be treated, you know, that you deserve to be treated well, cuz that's
a part of unconditionally loving self.
(01:57): And when you're in that energy, you then are
able to communicate how you want to be treated by others.
And you're open in that communication.
No problem at all.
When you, when you truly and unconditionally love yourself, you don't have problems being
clear in, in those rules of engagement.
And so what ends up happening here then is that the issues start to fall to, to, to the
side.
This question then starts to fall to the side in the sense that if I unconditionally love
myself, that means that I'm gonna stand in my power and I'm going to communicate what,
how I accept others to treat me or how I don't accept others to treat me.
As soon as I do that, the, uh, toxicity, people that have toxic behavior towards me, they
start to kind of fall off to the side because here's where the, the honest, very, um, direct
truth comes in.
(02:48): And that is that it doesn't matter who that
person is, whether they are my family or my friend or a coworker or whoever.
It doesn't really matter when I'm in the energy of true and unconditional love.
And I impose those rules of engagement and I communicate those rules of engagement to
other people.
If those people disrespect, my rules of engagement, my unconditional love for myself is going
to allow me to make certain decisions.
So a lot of times when people have, uh, you know, family members or friends that are,
that are exhibiting toxic behavior, that aren't really treating them well.
And they come into this unconditional love this place of unconditional love for self.
They start to say, Hey, no, I deserve to be treated better and I'm gonna communicate it
to that person.
This is what I expect.
This is how I expect to be treated.
(03:33): And they communicate it to the other person.
And sometimes it could be a bit of a difficult conversation, but a lot of times they get
to a point where the other person really understands that you've changed your energy and they change
their behavior towards you.
And then the toxic situation or the toxicity starts to kind of disappear.
But the alternative is that you say, I unconditionally love myself.
This is how I accept to be treated.
And I don't no longer accept to be treated in that way.
I no longer, I no longer accept being put down.
And if that person listens to you and what your rules of engagement are, and they continuously
disrespect those rules of engagement, then it's absolutely your right to remove yourself
from that person's presence in one way or another.
And it's different for everybody's situation.
You have to make a decision on what that means for you.
(04:21): But the point is at the end of the day, you
spend less and less and less and less time with that person.
And maybe you don't spend any time at all.
So maybe you remove them from your life and an important side note.
I wanna leave here on this is that a lot of times making these decisions can be difficult
for people because we're culturally programmed to believe that family is everything okay.
That we, that it's really, we are horrible people.
If we, if we set boundaries or rules of engagement with family members, we're horrible people.
If we don't talk to our family members or if we distance ourself from our family members
and, and that programming is very detrimental for people who have family members that are,
that, that wound you, that are abusive, that don't treat you well.
It's, it's very painful for people who have these types of family members or friends,
because in their mind they believe that they can't really, they can't really change that
relationship because they're family.
(05:14): Okay.
And so I wanna leave this side note here in the sense that no matter if the person's a
family, no matter who they are in your life, if you have true unconditional love for yourself,
and that person is not treating you well, especially after you have communicated to
them, how you want to be treated and they're still not doing it, then you have absolutely
every white to then make the decision of spending less and less and less time with that person.
And eventually not spending time at all with them.
If you don't want to, you are within that, right.
To do that.
And that's unconditional love, oh, I wanna leave this video off with that.
That is unconditional love.
If I come to a point where in my heart, I feel that I no longer want to be in the presence
of that person.
(05:55): It doesn't mean I don't love, love them.
It doesn't mean I've stopped loving them.
It means that I love myself enough to respect myself and to respect my own autonomy and
my own energy and to respect.
What's good for me.
That's love too.
Okay.
So you can distance yourself from someone and still be unconditionally loving.
All right.
So I hope this helps.
It's sometimes hard to, to kind of walk this path of unconditional love when you have difficult
family members and difficult people in your life.
But I hope that this kind of helps clarify the energy.
Always remember that unconditional love starts with yourself first and what you accept and
don't accept from others.