Over carefulness from parents’ side
destroys the relationship.
You have to be careful.
Don’t show it
Be very subtle.
Share stories with them,
beautiful stories, inspiring stories.
The problem is that we have stopped reading stories to them at bed time
Even when they are thirteen, fourteen, fifteen eighteen, why not even when they are at thirty,
share a nice story with them.
Share a nice joke with them.
That can make them think.
The age.
At every age, parents must change.
What a parent can offer is very important.
We must teach them (children) regularity in life,
that “you should wake up early in the morning”, “this is how you should sit”,
“this is how you should talk”, “this is the kind of music you should listen to”.
This rhythm has to be
in their hearts from an early age.
When they are teenagers
we can't be bossy.
Now the inner inner awakening is there in them.
They are slowly shifting mentally and emotionally
from their dependence on their parents to their own self.
They are searching, they are inventing things.
Nothing wrong with it. But our job is to guide them in the right direction.
Don’t lecture them.
they say, “okay, I want to try this out.”
“Okay, go ahead. Let’s see what happens.”
Don’t be so negative
Never question, “What did you do? Why were you so busy?”
You are putting your child on the defensive.
You are teaching him how to lie
“I wish I had known. I would have picked you up, my son or my daughter.”
Conversation is important. Communication with them is very important.
Joking is the most important thing.
Jokes that you used to share with little children should not stop.
Story sharing should not be stopped.
When you read a profound philosophical message from any source,
share it with them with a lot of joy, “My child, listen to this, how wonderful it is.”
And when they do something wrong,
it is not the end of the world
Children are not stupid They know that they have made a mistake.
But we make it worse by reminding them, "You see? What did you do?
I knew you were going to do this.”
Then they rebel.
They already know that they have made a mistake. Now you put salt on their wound.
You have to be sympathetic. Keep on showing them cautiously,
“this can happen”. But not by becoming negative
And then they realise “yes, my mom or my papa said so,
but I didn’t listen.”
And when such things happen a few times then they will have more confidence that
“yes,they are more experienced than myself Now it is time to listen.”
This can happen only when you give them the
freedom to them
to do certain things. Let them make mistakes.
Let them understand
that you warned them and yet they did it.
Slowly, they will have more confidence that “Yes, they cannot be wrong.”
You have to be very indirect. We have to play our role
in such a way that they don’t feel that we are influencing them in any way.
And this art is very tricky, very, very tricky.
So we have to be careful.
Always be guided by your heart. When you meditate, you will get the guidance
”This is what I should be doing. This is what I should be doing or not doing.”