To be in a room with so
many queer and trans people
hanging out, laughing,
celebrating community,
being together, it's,
it's really it's a really beautiful
thing.
I actually started with Peaches
today because of your book.
Oh, cool.
I was like, you know what? This is the vibe.
Yeah.
Let's do this.
Love it.
So "Pageboy" isn't
chronological.
It's a collection of moments.
You cover a range of feelings and
topics, including anxiety, abuse,
gender dysphoria, but also trans
joy and some very liberating
sex.
How did you decide what to include?
It's a really good question.
I mean, in many ways,
like, at first when I
first sat down to start writing, it
really was like
something would come and
words were just pouring out of me.
So
at the beginning it really was
grabbing what was ever popping up
and letting that flow.
And then, as you
know, I sort of wrote a proposal,
then the book deal happened, then I
was like, "Oh s---, now I have to
write a whole book." You know?
And that's when it did become more
about
about, you
know, sort of choosing a time
period and then focusing like, "Oh,
I'm going to focus on this
friendship, what this friendship
represented and build these themes
around this or then this
relationship or this incident."
It's not an easy time
to be trans.
You wrote about how much vitriol you
faced when you came out publicly as
trans in 2021.
What made you want to write a book
now?
Like, first of all, it just would
have been impossible before — the
actual act of writing a book.
I'm sure many people can relate
to
being so uncomfortable you can't
focus, you can't have space in your
brain to
to do all kinds of things you want
to do or pursue.
So for the first time, something
like this actually did feel
like it could potentially be a
reality.
And then in regards to this time,
this period we're finding ourselves
in.
It felt like just having the
platform that I do have, having,
you know, the privilege of the reach
that I have, that
grasping the opportunity to share
my story now, potentially
that could
allow someone to feel less alone
or seen. I mean, I just I know
how much people sharing their
stories have helped me.
Did you fear any backlash?
Yeah,
absolutely, I did.
Yeah. But,
you know, I think that comes
with even just posting a photo on
Instagram. So it's kind of like,
you know?
But yeah, definitely when I was
writing about it, that's something
I was anxious about.
Or I'd be writing something
and think,
"Yeah, I know what they'll do with
this." Or something, you know?
But I wasn't going to
not shares something
for that reason or not
exist as myself for that reason.
So,
you know, it's par for the
course, unfortunately, right now.
Referring to a queer person named
Jessica from your hometown in
Halifax, you wrote, "Her visibility
meant the world to me.
And sometimes I think about that
when I'm out in the world."
So how do you
feel being a possibility model
for younger trans folks?
I feel grateful to finally be in
the position in my life where
I've had the privilege and resources
where I can be that.
I —
obviously, visibility
is complicated, you know?
It's, it's important and
it's crucial and also comes with
backlash. And needless to
say, the most marginalized and
vulnerable members of the community
deal with the consequences the most.
But I hope that in being
myself, existing as myself,
it can offer
a reflection of some kind, of
feeling less alone
and,
and that I can use
my privilege and platform to,
to help shift
things in the way that I can.
You're currently on your book tour,
which is packed with a stunning
lineup of moderators and guests.
It feels like the tour is on
your terms and really a celebration
of queerness and transness.
How is it feeling being in those
spaces?
It's feeling really, I have
to say, quite beautiful.
And I — that's
'cause of these great audiences
that are coming to hang out with us,
you know.
And
I think particularly in this time
that, you know, we're all
feeling as scary and intense to be
in a room with so many
queer and trans people
hanging out, laughing,
celebrating community,
being together.
It's, it's really
it's a really beautiful thing.
This book is written for a broad
audience and certainly being
consumed by one.
So what do you hope cis and
straight folks take away from
"Pageboy"?
If it allows someone to
learn a bit more about
our experience or have felt
like they couldn't wrap their head
around the experience of gender
dysphoria or what that might mean or
feel like, if
it illustrates any of that or
highlights
a lot of the B.S.
we have to deal with,
then that is wonderful, you know?
I wish something like that wasn't
necessarily needed to gain support
and empathy, but that is
what happens sometimes, and that's
good.
And in many ways, too, I hope it
shows — I love to think that,
you know,
cis, heterosexual
people
have, you know, so many similar
experiences in terms of emotional
arc, of what it means to step into
yourself, what it means to
have trauma manifest in your life,
and to work through that and
to love yourself.
You know, I think we have far more
in common than we do that's
different. And,
I, you know,
I hope we can all only like relate
in terms of that.
Being human is, it's a ride
and we're all in
it together, you know?
When you were 16 years old, you went
to a Peaches concert and described
it as the queerest thing you had
ever experienced until that point.
What have been some queer or trans
highlights since?
I guess the biggest highlight now is
the, is the community that I
have, you know.
And my
trans and queer friends that
have made my life —
and this life I have now — possible
and are
the reason I get through the moments
that are overwhelming, the days
that things
do feel like too much and
I need my pals.
And, um,
so....
Trans Karaoke Night,
like, living
for that.