Aaron Starke is pretty much a regular dude today, I'm a
happy family man, four kids, a beautiful wife, a dad
and a husband working a full time job, That's cool and
a self described nerd. I was always into things like
comic books and stories and escapism, but life wasn't
always so normal. I grew up in a really dark and
violent and chaotic life from a young age. He says the
adults around him turned life into a Stephen King
horror story. I never went to school more than six
months, I was constantly the new kid, I was dirty and
fat and smelly and I adopted that early on as my
persona, I was told I was worthless by everybody in m
life And when you're told you're worthless enough, y
will believe it. He tried to get help but says the
system repeatedly failed him. H came close to a point
of no return, almost becoming a mass shooter. What was
the tipping point that made you want to shoot up your
school I saw a therapist and I don't really remember
much of that conversation becau all I remember is the
end of it at the very end, the young lady, early 20s
so said, I'm sorry there's nothing I can do. I can't
help you. And as I walked out of that door, my brain
shattered. Okay, you want to see a monster I'll show
you the monster. Now, hey, can you give me a gun
Hopefully one that shoots a lot of bullets while there
is no one size fits all profile of a mass shooter.
Aaron Stark ticked off a few boxes according to the
violence project study of nearly 180 mass shootings,
98% were committed by men. About half are white, many
are under 30 of all the shootings in the database,
four were committed by women, psychiatrists say young
males are more prone to via. It's not just about mass
shootings. Young men between 15 and 25 make up the vast
majority of people who die in fights in car accidents.
Brain chemistry is part of the reason. Scientists say,
the prefrontal cortex that helps us understand
consequences of our actions isn't done growing the male
mind is not fully developed in terms of this kind of
impulse control probably till the mid late twenties for
psychiatrists like Jonathan met it's One of the
biggest arguments for limiting gun sales to people. 21
and older in the us, we've got exactly the opposite
direction. We keep pushing. Eve in spite of all this
data, we pushed the age limit down to 18, pretty much
everywhere. I lived in a very dark and angry life and I
spent my whole life hating myself. There's a reason
only a few pictures of Aaron Stark survived his
adolescence in that time. I also snuck into the family
members photo albums and destroyed all the pictures of
me before 15 years old. I was trying to annihilate my
own existence Stark was on the brink of not only
annihilating himself, but as many others as he could
take with him instead of talking about girls or sports
or movies, We talk about killing people. So we talk
about, it's okay if you're gonna kill 10 people, what
would you do if you're gonna kill 20 people, what woul
you do Stark says he was ready to die, then his life
changed again. I went to Mike's house, one of the few
friends he had left reached out, he's like, dude,
you're gonna be okay. You know, he would always tell me
you're a good kid in the craft world. He brought me in
and sat me down and we had a movie and had a meal and
gave me a shower and treatment like I was a person when
I didn't feel human at all. I felt like I was a walking
ball of destruction. Like I was just death walking on
the street and he treat me like I was just a kid in
pain and it was like a splash of water in my face.
Stark now travels the country telling his story. If I
can help some person, anybody else out of their own
depression by talking about it, then I'm gonna keep on
talking till I don't have a voice. We caught up with
him in san Antonio texas. Nice to meet you today. I
will be presenting about my story to the whole
convention of teachers, administrators. It's going to
be a very intense day. why Um, these are the teachers
in the specifically we're in the, you've all the school
district. The topic soon turns to the 18 year old, you
volley shooting suspect. And the biggest thing that
made me see myself in his story was a couple weeks
before it happened. He showed up to school with his
face covered in razor marks. To me, that's the most
visible sign of someone screaming, I'm hurting me, help
me. I don't, I don't think anybody could have stoppe
stopped him during that slide at that point, But maybe
we could stop the next one. Aaron Stark says he never
thought he'd live past 30. That was really good. But
now 43, he's dedicated his life to helping stop a cycle
of violence. Everybody's pain is individual and the key
of it is to see the person as an individual to brea
through that barrier. I somehow managed to now be able
to use my darkest time to help someone else out of
theirs. And if anybody listening can get one message
from it and just give love the people you think deser
it the least because they need it the most, the ones
like Aaron Stark used to be So Stark says he wants to
give people the tools to recognize those who are being
crushed under what he describes as a tsunami of pain.
Chance that he says often comes with a big dose of self
loathing and depression. He says the first step is
talking about these things and trying to erase the
stigma, and he is convinced that that can make a huge
difference and ultimately save lives chance.