what's up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the
problem but focus on the solution so if you are new here or even if you are one
of my subscribers this is a brand new series that I'm starting where I am
taking people who are both successful as well as happy and I'm going to break
down their mindset and explain using psychology as well as neuroscience as to
how they got to this place so you can implement it in your life too Gary
Vaynerchuk is a multi-millionaire who was bred here as a young child as an
immigrant from another country he couldn't even afford a $20 New York Jets
Jersey and now he is on the path to buying the New York Jets which has been
a childhood dream of his he is one of the most inspirational speakers of our
time he is this amazing entrepreneur success publicity all that stuff it
doesn't it's not what intrigues me about him what intrigues me about Gary
Vaynerchuk is what has intrigued me about human beings since I was a very
young child how do people have happiness despite
success because something that I've learned is that success does not equal
happiness so let's watch this clip and see exactly what gary vaynerchuk's
talking about and then we'll go ahead and break this thing down we have a nice
little Q&A it's a good talk it's fucking cool I leave I go to cross the street to
go into my car to go to the airport and I get hit by a car literally as I'm
laying there I'm like fuck I shouldn't have left the conference that early like
it is in my mindset that literally every negative thing that happens to me is my
fucking fault I recognize that that's not true you
know when I talk about this publicly everybody starts bringing up stuff like
like what if you're raped and one of this and that I understand I'm a logical
practical person I'm not talking about knowing or thinking everything is my
fault I'm talking about living a life were you default into believing that as
your mindset like you just saw on that clip when Gary Vaynerchuk talks he says
these things that a lot of people find confusing but I've got to explain to you
why this is one of the best things that you can learn about your
life what's always fascinated me about different successful people and their
mindset is that they don't understand that they were given this natural
ability to control and change their their brain pathways without even
realizing it and I hope this can give a little insight so garyvee if you check
this out here's a little explanation for you so the psychology theory then we're
gonna focus on today was brought about in the 1950s by a man named Julian water
and this is called locus of control now we all have a locus of control but there
are only two different types of a locus of control one leads to success as well
as happiness and the other leads to a lot of depression as well as anxiety so
first there is the internal locus of control and then there is the external
locus of control the external locus of control is a mindset that we have that
nothing that we do matters okay so for example when I get fired it wasn't my
fault those bosses were out to get me I didn't get that promotion I didn't get
that raise because they didn't like me or because susan is prettier than I am
right oh the only reason my friend is more successful than I am is because he
was raised in a more financially stable household than I was okay
this external locus of control means that we believe that we have absolutely
no control over our own faith now the internal locus of control
someone with an internal locus of control thinks about all these
situations completely differently just like you heard Gary Vaynerchuk just say
if he were to get hit by a bus right after that talk he gave he'd be laying
there on the ground thinking I should have left at that time what that does
just switching your mind mind self with this very simple thing it will change
your life because you start realizing how much control you actually have you
start to see that oftentimes you set in motion
in paths towards either success or towards failure towards happiness or
towards depression towards peace calm and tranquility or towards anxiety when
you realize how much control that you actually have you will immediately see
this change in the way things start painting out in your own life when I
personally started working on my mental health over five years ago my mentor
used to always say this to me and it never made sense used to always say
Chris it's a lot easier for you to fix you than it is for you to try to fix the
rest of the world because I was that guy I would look at everybody and everything
and it's their fault as their fault it's their fault it's their fault it's their
fault nothing was ever my fault I was just dealt a bad hand from birth I had
an alcoholic mother my dad didn't make as much money as all the other parents
of the friends I had I'm overweight that's why I can't get women or I'm not
you know the typical you know Brad Pitt looking male that's why I don't move up
in my job everything was out of my control and not my fault and it kept me
in this depression but my mentor kept telling me Chris it's a lot easier for
you to fix you and I started realizing this like he's right I don't have
control over whether or not my boss gives me a raise that's true I don't
have control over whether or not I'm gonna be stuck in traffic that I don't
have control over so why am I going to let those things went space in my head
if I don't have control over them so using those same two analogies getting a
raise and being stuck in traffic well I do not have control over whether or not
my boss gives me our ways I have control over my personal work ethic I have
control over the fact that I show up on time I bust my butt and I'm always
trying to advance in the company and do what's best for my company's interest by
doing that I'm able to get the raises and promotions that I want while I don't
have any control over traffic I do have control over what time I leave my house
I used to hate the world I used to think that everybody in Las Vegas would call
each other up and say you know what Chris is about to
let's all get on the freeway that's what I thought now I leave my house 15
minutes earlier and I get stuck in traffic and being stuck in traffic is
the best part of my day I get to sit I get to say I could rock out in my car
it's amazing about how can you switch from an external locus of control to an
internal locus of control all right remember a Gary Vaynerchuk said just
start defaulting to everything is my fault when you're able to do that you
will start to see that you are regaining control of your own life now one of the
ways that I have actually learned about this let's do a book called the
happiness advantage by shawn Achor this guy is a Harvard Graduate and he is
somebody who has studied and has improved upon something called positive
psychology in his book the happiness advantage he talks about how to be more
successful how to find happiness but what I love about people like Shawn acre
is that they give you scientific evidence behind it a 2002 study of
nearly 3,000 wage and salaried employees for the national study of the changing
workforce found that greater feelings of control at work predicted greater
satisfaction in nearly every aspect of life family jobs relationships and so on
people who felt in control at work also had lower levels of stress
work family conflict and job turnover so if you want to learn more about the
internal and external locus of control as well as a million other methods that
you can use to start being happier at work as well as in your everyday life I
highly suggest this book I put a link in the description below it's an affiliate
link from Amazon and what that means is that it has no extra cost to you but it
helps support this channel so I can make more amazing videos like this question
of the day with these mental health breakdowns that I'm gonna start doing
who do you want me to cover next who is somebody that you look up to that is
either just extremely happy or successful
hopefully a combination of both that you would like me to do a breakdown out and
explain how they do it leave it in the comments below but thank you for
watching if you're new here click the little brown subscribe button right
below I'm always making videos about how to improve your mental health I also do
videos on addiction and mental illness and education all that stuff so keep
coming back also to the left of me click a tap on one of those thumbnails I have
a ton of videos on my channel that will help you out with your mental health so
again thanks for watching and I'll see you next time