It's kale juice.
This is pond water.
Burritos!
What happened, Darren?
They got us, man.
What's up world?
We got a special guest on today's episode,
welcome back Tana Mongeau!
Hi. What's good?
Tana! Hey, hey.
I'm back, I'm basic, I'm bougie, I'm fucking ready for this shit.
Hey. Shit.
You fucking eat shit, sometimes you don't.
Yeah, sometimes I don't, there were oysters last time.
Cheers, cheers.
It was not cute. But I'm ready.
You know, on Basic to Bougie,
we try three different versions of two different foods,
and we try to determine which one's the cheapest
and which is the most expensive. And sometimes we learn that,
you know, the bougie food can be the most basic.
Or that the most basic food can be bougie.
True. And that's the tea.
And that is the tea.
Basic time.
Yo, DQ?
How about everybody relax? Don't reach. Everybody relax.
Everybody relax. DQ, you clear?
Yeah. You can touch it.
All right.
So I assume it's not in the middle.
I'm loving a good Insta-model diet of air.
You guys know what it is?
What is it, Tim?
I don't know. I'm going to break it open.
Oh my god, Darryl, you so aggressive.
It's a sub. It's not a sub. It's-
It's a sandwich. It's fully encapsulated.
Okay, can't do it. It's a wrap?
No, no. It's a ... it's a ....
A burrito?
Burritos! Yeah.
How are y'all going to hold a tortilla for that long
and not guess burrito?
Yo!
If you would have let other people touch it,
we would have figured it out. You see what I go through?
What, what you go through Darren?
Oh, you made me jump.
You got to loosen your belt buckle,
so you can have a little room.
Honestly. Okay.
Yeah. I got some skinny jeans on so yeah.
Love a good burrito.
This is looking like a...
We don't want to judge a book by its cover.
You know this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We know.
Schmaco Schmell. I love me some Schamco Schmell.
No. Me too.
Even though you will pay for it later.
Not me.
Honestly, I've trained my body. Can we dive in?
Let's do it.
I'm hungry.
This has a Smapocle.
Yeah. Smapocle.
Smapocle. It definitely got some weight to it.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. You hear that? Oh god.
That's a burrito.
All right. Let's do it.
Yup. Wow.
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
That is good as shit.
Mm-hmm (affirmative). Mm-hmm (affirmative).
That's good right there.
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
You can't go wrong with a nice beef burrito.
Got the beans in it.
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Okay.
All right. That was great.
Ooh. This one's serving me like a bean and cheese vibe.
I like you're just jumping in there.
Can I get a hoyeah? This is not like a hoyeah moment.
I just love me a good... okay. Let's just move on.
Delicious. Everything.
Mm-hmm (affirmative). Classic. Bean and cheese, three a.m.
I feel like this is perfect stoner food.
Even if you're not a stoner, this is good three a.m. food.
This is good three in the afternoon food.
It's just good food.
I do want to go back to my first one though.
Wait. We got one more.
Why you smacking it like that, like it's a baby.
Go to bed. Burp him.
It damn near is a baby.
What is this?
This one is serving me bougie though.
Oh, shut up. I think you're right.
It's just rolled so nicely, you know?
What you got in there?
It's certain chunks of chicken.
Okay.
Let's do it. Okay. I feel you. I feel you.
I'm trying to cut carbs as well.
Just like, no. That little top moment.
I'm not trying to just chew tortilla.
Tortilla. I got you. I got you.
I feel like even, cheers.
What happened Darren? Something hit you.
Oh, this is healthy. This is really healthy.
Oh, wow.
The garlic man.
It's like brussel sprouts and shit.
[inaudible 00:03:34]
Kimchi. This is Asian fusion shit. Pork belly.
We're done with this.
Seaweed.
No wonder I tasted the ocean first bite.
When you're thinking it's going to be
some carne asada and bite into it
and you get the seaweed and the kimchi and the pork belly?
And I jumped again.
It's simple.
Mm-hmm (affirmative). It's real simple.
It's not even that hard.
Cheapest, middle, most expensive.
Let's get it.
DQ, where you unveil it?
Good, even better, bad.
That's how confident I feel.
Yeah. I feel confident.
I'm just ready, you know?
You want to do it?
You do it. Oh, you read it. Yes. Please.
Do it with the hoyeah voice.
Hoyeah. Okay.
Our girl, bean and cheese, fast food. One dollar.
Love it.
One fucking dollar and it tastes better
than everything on this plate. Let's just talk about that.
That's debatable.
Four quarters.
Steak burrito with the fixings, $10.
Hello. Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Korean pork belly burrito with kimchi and Ube
infused rice, $20.
You could literally have 20 of these.
20. You could have 20.
20. True.
What's better, guys?
I wouldn't recommend having 20 of these.
I would.
The pork belly's crazy to open and stuff.
Pork belly's mad tender. You should check it out.
Not cute. Leave that pork belly right up in that burrito.
Infusion rice, seaweed, I don't want none of that.
We got it right though.
Yeah! Oh!
We did it!
Do-do-do [inaudible 00:05:03]
Why do y'all reach so fast?
Oh, what's this?
Oh, this is a shrimp. It's a shrimp.
I don't feel nothing in here. You all took it out?
What is it?
Can I take it off?
Wait, we don't know what it is yet.
Oh, ew. Ew, ew.
I just smelled my hand in it and it doesn't smell good.
Is it shrimp?
Here, get a whiff, get a whiff.
I got to go. I got to go.
I can't get nothing because I can't see.
I'm over it. Okay. Here it is.
It's some type of liquid. I don't know what this is.
Oh, that's shrimp. Matcha?
It's kombucha. It's kale juice!
What the fuck was the shrimp
that you were talking about, Tim?
I was holding onto her finger.
Work this bougie.
Work this bougie. Work this bougie.
What we working is bougie.
I said work this bougie, work this bougie.
How do you tell them apart though?
I don't even understand how kale can be bougie or basic.
It's all just from the fucking ground.
This one smells okay. With the little mint in there.
Does it?
It doesn't smell bad.
Well they literally get better in smell though.
I can't lie.
It's crazy because the one with the flower smells the worst.
This is pond water. Yeah. Absolutely 100%
This is pond water!
Can we taste it already, Darren?
I don't know why I'm here. They just want me to taste kale.
This shit Tana's on edge.
Yeah. Straight the fuck up.
Come on, I don't want to drink this shit.
Let's start with the worst.
I think we should start with the nasty.
You want to start with the worst one?
All right. Yeah. So we can progress.
The pond water. Pond water.
Pond water!
Okay. Are we ready?
All right.
I did it. Oh, man. Oh, that's disgusting.
Tastes like ass.
It's all right. It's pond water.
No, no. Trust me. It did not taste like shit.
Look how he's drinking the shit.
I know. Go!
It's all right.
No it's not. You know, I'm really happy
for all these healthy bitches out there,
but that is just not my shit.
It's cool. It's gross.
It's all right, y'all.
You ever look at a pond
and see them little flowers floating on top of it?
It's literally what it looks like.
Some algae. All right. Let's do it.
Let's go. The lemon?
Yeah. Cheers.
So, Tana knows Bradley and Bradley knows Jessica.
That fucking bitch.
Bro, did you hear what the fuck she said?
I mean, we're just doing this for a scant.
We're trying to be better.
What is the benefits of kale?
I don't know. This one is good.
It's all right.
I kinda fuck with it.
It almost tastes like a mint lemonade.
This is some remedy shit for a cold.
Yeah. I'm kind of rhyming with it. What about you, girl?
I mean, I don't know.
It's doing something to me. I'm tingly inside.
So good. I feel healthier.
Yeah. It's crazy.
Our skin is clear, our grades are good, our
Instagram likes are up.
I mean, I'm drinking kale and minding my business.
Yeah.
But, it's all right though.
It's cool.
I feel like this was really going to run through.
Yeah. Definitely.
Oh, yeah.
When the night time hits and the lonely hour.
Green booty. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Green rush.
This is nature's flat tummy tea.
All right. All right. Last one.
Last one.
I have the most faith in this one.
I'm not going to lie.
Guys and gal.
She's cute?
Oh, no. No.
This one got a- That's a let down.
What's in here? Something spicy.
I was expecting minty moment and I just got-
No way. Oh, that's a let down.
Yeah. Me too. It was- Fertilizer.
Sour, spicy, something combination.
Oh, no. They didn't put cayenne in that did they?
Some type of, I don't know, root.
Some ginseng.
That one made me kind of dizzy.
This is probably the healthiest one though.
Tell me why stuff tastes nasty, and you continue to taste?
He's just continuing to drink it.
Because I'm trying to learn!
I'm trying to get this shit right!
Learn? Just grow.
It tastes terrible.
Oh, my god? What is it? It's horrible. I'm getting sick.
All right.
Oh, my god. Are you okay? Let's wrap this up.
I don't think my body is used to shit like this.
That's what I'm saying. We're just not cut out for this.
It is really not reacting the way, oh man.
Here it is. You think, is it cleansing now?
You're literally cleansing right now.
That's what you're feeling the cleanse for sure.
You okay? Pick, Tim.
Cheapest with the lemon, pond water middlest.
Let's go with the crazy spicy one most expensive. D'Quan.
What he said.
Let's get it. Hey guys.
DQ late!
Okay, D'Quan.
Look at my man swoop. Hell yeah.
Number one, store bought kale juice, five dollars.
I was right.
No. You said the most delicious one was the cheapest one.
What's up with you?
Fresh squeezed with matcha, chloranil, monk fruit, and uzu.
Oh, that was the delicious one. You do like matcha.
You like matcha now. Damn, you bougie.
No, I don't.
Darren's bougie now.
No I don't. I don't see where that other shit is.
All I see is the lemon. I was set up.
It's mixed in.
So shut up.
You are bougie, you like matcha. North Carolina is ashamed.
Number three, fresh elixir with dandelion,
wheat grass, cordyceps. What is cordyceps?
Just the ground.
[inaudible 00:09:43]
monk fruit, E-3, milk thistle, la canto, and mint.
That literally sounds like someone picked up
a handful of dirt and put it in.
Boom. Ground it, water, health.
And then you got it right.
Literally.
I'm tired of this shit. Close it out, man.
All right guys. Well, thank you for watching
another episode of Basic to Bougie.
Thank you for having me.
How do you feel?
Like I want to throw up.
Do you feel healthy?
Yeah, but it's not cute.
It's not worth it.
I feel like this makes you poop in public
and then act like it's not you.
Oh, like you walk out and be like "Oh, man.
The guy before me, yeah. Blew that up."
"Who is that?" It was you the whole time?
Yeah. That's why you got to yell while you do it.
Pond water! Walk out.
Okay.
Or just-
Don't drink the kale juice.
Make sure y'all subscribe, like the video,
share the video if you thought it was funny, and cheers.
Don't drink kale.
This guy.
Bye guys.