The next thing when a man is deeply
in love with you that he will say
is how are you feeling?
Now, sounds very simple but
the point is
he cares about how you feel.
That's the point here.
At the end of the day, the man who is
in love with you
wants to be the man who's there for you,
that you can rely on,
but is also going to be attentive to you,
is also going to be mindful of your concerns.
Now again, I feel the need to say
it doesn't mean the man will be perfect.
Because I will make the argument that
men are naturally not as
in tune as women, all right.
So, though they will show concern
they can't read your mind.
And if you're expecting that to happen
because well, if he loved me
he would know what I’m thinking,
he would be able to finish my sentences,
listen, like that sometimes that can happen,
but because it does not happen like that
don't go to assume
oh, he must not truly love me
he must not be into me.
He may still be trying to learn you,
he may not understand the cues yet,
he may not understand your body language yet
all these different things.
It depends on how far along in the relationship that you are.
But even if you are far along in the relationship
if you guys have not taken time
to really get on the same page
and probably communicate each other's needs,
thoughts, how we react,
how we see things, things like that
then there will still be a disconnect
in that way, all right.
And that's why it's very important
to have those conversations
rather than assume
that someone should just be able
to pick up on it by nature.
Because in his mind
if you don't bring it up in conversation,
if you don't make it a concern
or an issue in any kind of way,
then his assumption is everything's great.
Like what comes to mind right now
is just kind of hitting my spirit.
There's times where
women have gotten to a place of really
high frustration in a relationship, right
and they don't understand
why this man doesn't get it.
And then when you talk to the man he's like yo,
everything's good as far as I know
like I don't see anything wrong.
And that only infuriates the woman even more
but the crazy thing is he's actually being honest
in some of these situations.
In some of these situations he just does...
If you don't show him that
in the way that he understands
he may not pick up on it, all right.
Now, it isn't to excuse men from
the need to be more attentive,
the need to get more in tune with their partners, right.
But it is to understand that
because of the way men are wired
and the way that we process things
we just may not
pick up on things as well as
the average woman does, all right.
But getting back to the point here
he is going to...
He is going to be open and willing
to hear how you feel
and he is going to be concerned about your feelings.
But something else is hitting my spirit
I have to say this right now.
Be very careful of what stage you set
early on in the relationship.
What I mean by that is this,
there are men who started off
very concerned and willing to ask you
how are you feeling
and wanting to help
and wanting to make things better.
But you may have for various reasons
slid into the bad habit of
I’m good, it's nothing,
it's no big deal, boom, boom, boom, right.
Kind of shutting down his attempts
to dig deeper.
And what will happen in many cases
not because he doesn't love you
but because he becomes conditioned
to the fact that you shut things down
or you're not open in that way
he stops asking.
Because the mentality of the man is
if this does not get us anywhere
I’m not going to keep doing it.
I’m not going to keep pushing
and trying to get you to talk to me
if you don't want to talk.
And if I feel like you have a habit
of not want to talk
then even when the next situation happens
I’m not going to make the same kind of attempt.
But again, it is not out of
I don't care so to speak.
It is not out of a you know,
I don't love you enough to
be concerned about how you feel,
it's about you keep telling me you're good
so I just assume you're going to take care of it.
And I think it's important for every woman listening
to understand this because
I think for many of you
especially for those of you who
have had to be on your own
or handle things on your own a lot
to where even when it comes to emotionally
you just process on your own,
you're on your own and you take it upon yourself
to get through it.
You get trapped into this whole independent
way of going about things, all right.
Or it could be a struggle to just be
vulnerable in that moment and open up
because maybe previous men before him
shut you down,
showed unwillingness to listen,
things of that nature so you feel like
it's a pointless thing to open up to a man in that way.
And so, you got to be mindful of
if that is the case with you.
Because again, how you start...
However, you start that relationship
and whatever you condition him to
will become the norm in that relationship.
If you want him to continue to show concern,
continue to ask how are you feeling,
you have to be willing to open up.
You have to be willing to
be receptive in that moment.
It doesn't mean
you can't have moments where
you genuinely don't feel like talking about it.
But you've got to be able to express that
but then say okay, let's talk about it later.
The same way you would want the man
to open up to you,
you got to give him that same energy, you know I’m saying.
So, be careful with that
because I again, it hit my spirit
because I see it so often
I see it's happening to so many people
and it really is a pitfall that can be avoided.
Another thing,
men will start saying when they deeply love you
or a man will start saying
when he deeply loves you is
I want to make you happy, all right.
At some point in the relationship
and again, don't hold men to like those
exact specific words, I want to make you happy.
But there's going to be an expression of
I want to see you happy,
I want to make you happy,
how can I make you happy?
What makes you happy?
Essentially, a concern and desire
for you to experience
happiness with him, all right.
And for him to
want to have an understanding of
the role he can play in achieving that.
You know I’m saying
how he can pour into you
essentially he is going to be in tune or
want to embrace your needs and desires
in this relationship.
Listen, when you are dealing with a man
who is only selfish
or who is too selfish
and it's mainly all about him
and not what he can do for you
that is not a man who loves you.
And I have to say that because I see women
getting caught up in relationships
claiming its love
and it's a completely one-sided affair.
It is or at the very least very lopsided
where yeah, you're giving, giving, giving, giving
but he doesn't pour back.
And let me make clear
what we give and receive
from each other can vary, all right.
What the man needs from the woman
is not always exactly
what the woman needs from the man.
So, we're not looking for this
completely even exchange of exact things
that we give to each other,
we're looking for reciprocity
in the sense of I give to you, you give to me.
Give and take both ways
where we both feel fulfilled
happy and satisfied in this relationship.
So, the concern for your happiness
is going to be there when he truly loves you
and he is going to be open
to what it takes to achieve that.
All right, so, we got two more to go
and the next one on this list
that I have is
he will say words like we, us, are.
So, essentially the man who is in love with you
and again, this goes back to
someone who's already engaging with you
because I think it might be
a little weird for the guy who's just your friend
to be talking about we, are, and us
where he talks about future,
which it can happen don't get me wrong it can happen.
But you know
he's not going to have that liberty
to speak like that to you.
But the guy's already dealing with you yes,
he's not thinking from a I mindset, all right.
Me, what I got going on
what I’m doing, it's about us,
it's about team, it's about
how we're going to move forward together,
grow together and all these different things.
So, pay attention to the man
who includes you in his future plans.
Pay attention to the man
who wants to include you
in various aspects of his life.
So, even using the words we or us
goes into the desire to bring you
into his world or the desire to
include you in various activities.
Maybe like he wants to come
something that is coming to my mind.
If he's a part of a sports league
like he plays softball on the weekends or whatever
like he may want you to come check him out
unless he like sucks
and just doesn't want to get embarrassed.
But that's a different issue, right.
But if he's a decent player
he probably wants you to come
you know what I’m saying he wants you to see,
see him in action,
he wants your support,
he wants to be able to impress you in those moments.
So, there's a greater desire for togetherness, all right
and there is a great desire to
bond on various levels.
And not just in the actions that we take
but the way we speak
about each other.
So, we, us, are and things of that nature
is something else
that the man who loves you will say.
All right and so the last thing but
you know me I got a bonus message
after this, right.
So, but the last thing on this specific list
that I’m going to mention for today is
let's talk, all right.
Now again, variations can include talk to me,
I want to talk to you,
I would like to hear your voice
things of that nature.
The point being made is that
he wants to communicate with you,
he enjoys being able to talk to you.
And I would say this he enjoys
talking to you more than other women, all right.
And when I say other women, I don't mean like
one of the women he's dating but yeah,
other women he's dated in the past,
other women in general like you're his go-to,
you know and again, when he's truly in love.
Because there's that desire as
the point I made earlier,
ishere's that desire to bond,
there's that desire for togetherness
that draws us to each other.
And communication is an intimate act
and when the love is there,
there's an understanding of that intimacy
to a certain extent.
Now again, some men do struggle
when it comes to communication.
But I don't know if I've ever seen a man
who was in love with a woman
who was not open to talking to her,
who did not enjoy talking to her
to some degree.
Now again, there are men who
this might step on some toes.
There are men who love their woman
who care about her, right
and they don't like talking to her.
They don't like having long conversations
or anything like that where
it's like no.
And I can make the argument that yes,
because loving someone
and being in love
or if we go further
having a connection with them
is two different things.
And so, there may be
he values her, he respects her,
but they don't have that deeper bond,
that deeper connection that draws them together
in a way that makes him want to
talk to her, all right.
So, when you see couples
that don't have that communication
but they're staying together
very well that could be the case, all right.
That again, there might be some love there
but they're not in love with each other.
And though some may say well,
that should be good enough no,
well, I’m not going to co-sign that.
I want you guys to
experience the best love that's for you.
I want you to experience that deeper love
I want you to experience that connection
and with that guy
there is going to be the ability
to talk and desire to talk.
But also saying let's talk
also is to highlight the fact that
again, his willingness to discuss issues
when they come up with you,
his willingness to want to resolve things with you
and bring harmony to the situation.
He wants to make things right, all right.
And the only
exception I think that can come to mind
and I have to always bring this up is again,
if this man is damaged
and has not healed
that can impact his ability
to have proper communication.
That is not an excuse to...
Or that is not a reason to look past the issue
is just to understand why it exists,
but then there has to be a willingness
to fix it.
So, okay I have to throw this in, right.
Because again, you know I’m always concerned about
someone watching the video,
taking the video,
but not keeping it
sometimes in proper context, right.
And I think it's important to mention that
when you are trying to understand
if the man deeply loves you
and you're paying attention to these words
that we talked about,
the things that he'll say.
One, you have to really first make sure
are you deeply in love with him, all right.
If you are trying to choose men
to be with or stay with
based on how much they love you
without checking yourself about
if you truly love them,
you are setting yourself up for failure, all right.
That love has to exist within you first
for there to be the potential of greatness here.
And if it's not
it's going to fall apart because now
it is a version of being unequally yoked,
a version because that's not the actual
definition of being unequally yolked.
But I’m using that phrase to simply
to highlight the fact that
there's an imbalance here, all right.
And when there's an imbalance
it's going to show itself in due time
and it's going to destroy that relationship.
You know some people will say
or they've told women
find the man who loves you
more than you love him.
And I will always tell you
that's the worst advice ever, all right.
Because if you can even begin to quantify
that he loves you more
then that is a clear sign you're not in love with him.
And if you are not in love with him
you are going to be unable
to pour into him the way that he needs,
you're going to be unable to
truly be happy and satisfied
in the long run with this man,
the cracks will start to show
and then the whole thing will bust wide open.
So again, check yourself about
how you feel with this man.
But then also make sure you're not just
waiting for his words
but you're using your own, all right.
You have to be expressive with your love,
you've got to pour into him in that way.
Listen, men can be just as scared as women
if not more in some situations.
Especially when there are genuine
or even more specifically
when there are genuine strong feelings involved
and he's being cautious
and he's trying to evaluate
well, damn does she love me?
Is she really into me?
Is it safe to say I love you yet?
Is it safe to be all
you know, at her back and... I don't want to say
at her back and call that just...
But be available to her the way
that shows her that you have her back, all right.
Because for some men, that can be scary
because that can lead to getting used.
If the woman is not truly into him
then that can lead to him being taken advantage of.
So again, I say all this to say
men and women unfortunately have their walls up,
my goal is to get everyone
to bring their walls down.
But in order for there to be success
in any relationship
we have to hold ourselves accountable first
for what we can do better
and how we need to better approach the situation.
So, making sure that you are also
being expressive and saying you know
using your loving words towards him
and expressing desire
is what's going to help nurture the situation
so it can grow into
that amazing thing it can be.
Hey, thank you for watching this video.
Be sure to check this one out right here
and I'll see you there.
So, they say when a man wants a woman
nothing will stop him
from pursuing her.
Well, that's not completely true, all right.
And not only is it not true
it's creating...