*Whapoosh*
Top of the morning to ya ladies
my name is Jacksepticeye and welcome back to my main man Samuel!
who is SUPER manuel!
I have blinked 400 times. Oh sweet Jesus I've only gotten outside my house.
Alrighty! Let's gets walking, not in that direction apparently.
crap
I keep messing up the sequence of my footers
You'd think a 26-year old man by now would know how to walk
NO! NO!
You fucking idiot!
Ohp my spine is uh vibrating.
Here we go, why is there a golf cart just crashed there?!
Did I do that in one of my BENDERS?
okay, blink
Again, this game makes you super.. super paranoid of your breathing and blinking all the time
You're a asshole!
Hehe. *Imitates death* Might wanna the hood fixed it be a little loose yo
Okay we're getting into the car!
Oh God do I have to drive?
I do don't I? Oh hello little bird!
Look out of the way
*bird squawks*
AWE!
WHY?
Oh I'll teach you how to drive a dick!
Hey! Us in Ireland still do!
Clutch!
I didn't even put it in gear!
You can't release... You can't release too fast though.
Oh God, this is weird
How do I do that?
Yeah I-
I just did, but the car stopped on its own
Hahaha, look at him! AAAAAGH! Hahaha
Okay.
Put down this
And then releeeeeeaaaaasssssseeee.
Uh, obviously
Jesus, FUCKING CHRIST
FUCK
I don't wanna drive faster I'm good with the way I am!
Oh god this is gonna go bad
Yeah
There we go, we're in fourth!
We're in fifth!
We're in first again.
I could just keep changing non-stop?
That's not how revs work! Haha
We sure are!
I'm figuring out how to do this!
I did it! I dodged her!
AAH
GOT IT!
My eyes are so on the road, watch this!
*Blinks intensely*
I'm blinking like a bitch!
I'm a maniac
Wait so- what's the...
Yeah
Bull feces, really?
I'm sorry!
Seán?
Did I just compare myself to Satan?
Stop saying that!
Sure
I couldn't- I couldn't high-five him
Or maybe I can I just don't know how to do it
EWSHCH my face!
I thought I had 8
Okay I think I need to change gears.
Wait am I here?
The car is stopping
I think we're here
Are we here?
Uh Mister Death?
AaAAA
Here we go
I was in the wrong gear
I mean I don't know why, I should have been able to go up to fifth
Look at me now bleechhea
Can you shut up?!
How are you even breathing in and out without any lungs?
Yep
I agree
OoooHHH now we're fucking kicking it!
What?
Oh shit!
Ah I'm trying AAH AAAH GOD
I'm trying to fucking breathe at the same time!
Jesus
I don't know
OFFROADING
Oh shit. oH!
This is baad
Uh I'm pretty sure everyone's dead here!
Dude we are just wizzing by people
They sure are! They're all dead
War?
Stop saying holy feces just say shit!
I'm over here being cool as fuck!
What's her voice gonna be like?
She's listening to fucking hardcore metal though
Yeah she's about what I expected
Just shut up and take me to the metro-
-Okay it's gonna take a while... uh... *coughs*
I gotta get the hang of this again
Aaaand AWAAAY WEE GGOO!!
What am I doing?
I have to fucking stop?!
Fucking hell
You guys
You're you're fucking killing me here
Actually you're not killing me you're bringing me back to life
UUUGHGHHG
Why don't I just stop
let you out
and then I'll carry on my merry way of trying to survive a day
Sure thing
No problem
God fucking dammit
Why are they here?!???
I thought this was a bad neighborhood
Are the grannys actually the demons?
KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!
UUUUUGH THANK JESUS!
Watever.... Can we go?
Uh nothing really
Yes, see, I have a life that's going on!
Okay
And we are on the move!
Let me get my fucking revs up!
I'M DOING IT!
I'm doing it
We're going
We're going!
YES!
YESS!
WARP SPEED MR. SULU!
WWWOOOOOOOOO
Oh fuck!
I'm trying, I'm trying. I couldn't try...
Am I dead again? #OhFudge!
Stop saying feces! It's so annoying
Who did we hit?
Who did we hit?!
*whispers* uguuguughhghg he's so annoying
Heh, what be I gonna do
NO.
Haha I'm just staying here dude
I ain't blinking!
You ain't getting my fucking shred of life!
IT'S MINE!
Yup!
I'm just gonna stay here
Comon narrator watcha got? Some fucking jokes?
Oh crap I have to blink eventually
Oh no I do have to blink anyway!
Oh balls!
Ok I'm just gonna stay in here, I'm in it for the long haul
Staring contest!
Let's go!
I don't need to blink
I love when my eyeballs are on fire
*sound of death* I can blink once
fiiinneee
Well I probably would have gotten something if I kept going, but fuck that
He has to jack off 57 times in 24 hours?
5 times is
fucking
A lot
You're very enthusiastic all of a sudden
I'm trying
Is hard
Door open sesame!
Thank you
That just looked like a window
Show us!
Are you guys just gonna say it shoots lasers and not actually do it?
That's like me saying "High fives all around" and not actually giving highfives
I could use a one of these
That coffee part sounds AWESOME
I am all about that coffee life
What is guest control?
Hello
ALSO! I forgot to mention
In the other episode I had to go- when I came back into the game I had to replay some of the section again
Where I woke up and got dressed and everything I managed to remember my shoessss this time
A lot of you have actually probably said that by now and then getting to this part of the video and you've already left a comment saying
"Hey he has his shoes on but he didn't last time" kinda thing
Yeah bet you feel silly now dontcha
Um. I got so many comments in the last one saying "Jack you're a fucking moron how'd you forget your shoes"
Like RELAX I didn't think it was that big a deal
ding ding
#Pling
BLECHELENBHELCHEHE!
I can make him say something really stupid
I did the 'I'
Come on! Come on! Baby's first words!
Fuuuck! It slows down at the end
FUCK! I'm so wound up in trying to hit other things!
I will try my best
Thank you Jeeves
I'm doing it
You notice that's a card with a key on it?
It's a KEY-CARD!!
AHAHA, I thought somebody was going to be ON the stairs
*reading off the wall* Limbs are replaceable, lasers are forever. Uh okay
Imagine express future digital words
Your ideas matter, we care. Follow us #Robocorp
Doing safe science since the 40s
Pay humans forever, pay for a robot once
WOAH!!
OKAY you guys need better days of your life. You guys look like overwatch characters now.
I'm in!
And she has a "for the win" shirt? Of course...
Hello Ingrid!
Is that dude just all fucking laser pieces?
Ah there we go I had to go back that way
It's hard
But dude! I have coffee to be drinking!
oooohh DAH FUCK
Ah my fuckin' eyes! I need more coffee! I need coffee to start the day!
Ah it's too hot. AAAH FUCKK
Oh I'm blind!
OW
OK this time
I got a good system going on *reads* out of gosh darn coffee. okay
Well out of good coffee
I'll take bad coffee
I just want something in my mouth
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Oh sweet glorious caffeine. Nectar of the gods!
Okay, well I'm gonna leave this episode here
We're gonna get in and do Sam's job now, in the next episode
And it's gonna be a grand old time
Sam, you're getting along very well
That car driving segment was a pain in my fucking ass
But at least now it's done, it's over, we can move on. We're gonna meet the rest of the famine- and fe-, pestilence
Sin, and trash next time [Referring to War earlier]
*Outro* But for now
Thank you guys so much for watching this
if you liked it
PUNCH THAT LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE
LIKE A BOSSS!!!!
and highfives all around
WHAPOOSH WHAPOOSH
BUT THANK YOU GUYS AND I WILL SEE ALL YOU DUDES
IN THE NEXT VIDEOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Sam's got that "not sure if serious" face going on