Hello brains!
*Jessica starts, but stops herself*
*silence*
Everybody fails sometimes. But, those of us with ADHD seem to do it a lot more often.
Our brains work differently. Because of our difficulties with executive function,
we have trouble with things like planning and prioritizing.
We have a harder time learning from past mistakes.
We tend to be optimistic about how much we can accomplish and in what amount of time.
Over time, that daily sense of failure can make us feel like...
Well, like a failure.
For many of us with ADHD, failure becomes such a part of our experience that we expect it.
We expect ourselves to fail,
and we're often shocked, and maybe a little confused when we don't.
I'm no exception.
By now i'm used to failing. I'm used to disappointing people.
I'm used to doing it wrong,
feeling incompetent,
giving up.
doing the show has been a challenge for me, because as much as I love doing it,
every week there's this sense of impending doom.
This voice in the back of my head, saying, "You can't do this."
"You'll fail."
"You've gotten lucky so far, but eventually it will all come crashing down."
"You're just gonna quit someday, just like you always do."
Most weeks, I work extra hard
to prove that voice wrong. But this week, when I was way behind schedule...
I thought it might have a point.
The last few weeks, I haven't been able to post episodes on time.
And, this week I didn't even have anything written
by the time it was supposed to be shot and edited.
That's it then.
I failed.
Again.
Which means...
the voice was right.
I can't do this.
But, here's what I learned recently:
Failing does not make you a failure.
It's not some permanent mark on your forehead,
some final verdict that means,
"You'll never be successful because you failed! So you might as well give up!"
Failure isn't even the opposite of success!
It's what happens all along the way.
The only way failing can stop you from succeeding is if you stop trying
because of it. Otherwise,
failure is just feedback.
It lets you know what's not working so you can adjust and try again.
So it might take us longer to be successful. It might take a lot more failures.
It might even take trying 20 different things before you find something you
like doing enough to keep failing at it until you finally figure it out.
But, all we have to do is keep trying.
Fall down seven times, get up eight.
Of course, that's not always easy.
Falling down as much as we do means we have to be really resilient,
experts at falling down and getting back up again.
Next week,
I'll talk about how to build that resilience. In yourself, and in your ADHD loved ones.
I'll give you a hint:
It has a lot to do with encouragement.
As for this week...
One step closer to success.
That's it for this week. I've included some links about ADHD and failure in the
description below. If you liked this episode, subscribe. And if you want to
help me make more, consider donating to my Patreon page.
Like these brains did!
Thank you to all my Patreon supporters, and to those who encouraged me when I need it most.
Let me know what you need to hear when you're feeling down.
Comment below, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter, and I will see you next week!
Bye, brains!
Question time! Why do we tend to scribble any and everything on any and
everything and then can't find it when we need it?
Heh ... I can relate.
For me it's because i need to get an idea out of my head before I forget it
or get distracted by something else,
usually my next thought.
Our brains go at turbo speed, so organizational systems that take too long to
transfer information from brain to page don't really work for us.
I know the bullet journal seems a little complicated at first, but give it a shot.
It actually solves that problem because it's super fast to use, and you can
technically just flip to whatever page you want, write down whatever you need to
write down, and then add that page the index later so you can find it again.
If you still end up writing whatever, wherever, no problem. Just make sure you
transfer it to your bullet journal, or to-do list, or whatever you want to use
to keep track of all your stuff.
It's totally fine to write first, organize later.
... Just remember to do that second part.