Hey, what do you think is a better excuse
for why I'm not drinking on this date tonight--
I'm a recovering alcoholic
I'm a Mormon
or I got so hammered last night, I'm still a little drunk?
Hey.
Hi. Hey.
So, what do you want to do tonight?
There's a Ukrainian film at the Angelica
that's supposed to be very powerful. Interested?
No. No, but I'll go see a normal-person movie with you.
Rach, you want to come?
Oh, no, I can't. I got a date.
A date?
Yeah. Why, is that weird for you?
Why, no, it's the opposite of weird.
It's, it's, uh, regular.
It's, it's uh... mundane.
It's, it's actually a little dull.
It's no Ukrainian film, I tell you.
Ooh, earrings!
A date?
She's got a date? With who?
I set her up with this actor on my show.
You set her up?
No.
Joey, what were you thinking?
I was thinking that it'd probably be okay
because Ross hasn't gone out with Rachel in five years.
Joey, I'm not worried about her.
I'm worried about my baby.
Whoever she dates, my baby dates.
Now, now, where is this "actor" taking them?
Hey! I'm an "actor" too.
I'm not sure. I think they're taking the ferry
out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry.
Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Aren't we talking about those big boats that carry cars?
They go like five miles an hour?
Why don't they just jump out of an airplane, huh?
That's a fun date.
Or burn each other with matches.
That's fun, too. Woo!
( knocking)
Hey, Joey.
Hey, Cash. Uh, hey, this is Ross.
Ross, this is Cash.
Hey. Hey.
I hear you're going on a ferry tonight.
Yeah. Yeah.
Bit of a daredevil, are we?
Hey, you guys.
Do you think this is too slutty? Hi, Cash.
Hey, Rachel. Hi.
Ready to go?
Yeah. All right, I'll see you guys later.
Okay. Have a great time, you guys.
Thank you. Thank you.
Yes, it is too slutty!
Hello.
Hi.
( chuckles)
How was the date?
Well, I'm alone
and I just bought $15 worth of candy bars.
What do you think?
Uh-huh.
What happened?
Made the mistake of telling him that I was pregnant.
Oh, he didn't, uh, take it so well?
Well, better than you.
But, you know, still not what you want.
Oh?
Yeah, he got all weird and sputtery
and then he said, uh
"Yeah, I hear those hemorrhoids are a bitch."
He sounds swell.
Doesn't he? Mm.
Hey, you want a... you want a little cheering up?
Yes.
Sit down.
Okay.
Guess whose middle name is Muriel.
( gasps)
Chandler M. Bing.
Yeah-uh.
Oh, my God.
( chortles)
Hmm...
I'm sorry about your date.
Aw, it's all right.
I guess I'm just done with the whole dating thing.
It's just one more thing in my life
that is suddenly completely different.
This is hard.
Yeah, I know.
On the other hand, in, uh... in about seven months
you're going to have something that you're going to love
more than any guy you've ever gone out with.
Just wait.
Wait until, uh...
Wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger.
You have no idea.
Thanks, sweetie.
Mm-mm.
You, uh, you want to grab some coffee?
Oh, no. I think I'm going to go home and eat ten candy bars.
Hey, I-I thought I cheered you up.
Oh, you did-- there are 20 in here.
Right.
Good night.