Tired? Too bad! If you're at Buckingham, you have to wait until the monarch goes to bed. And
don't you dare wear a tiara before 6 PM. Royals have a laundry list of bizarre rules to follow.
Royals are often at public events inundated by fans. This means that royal family members will
have to interact with scores of adoring strangers, most of whom will offer them
unwelcome hugs or handshakes. Of course, royals cannot greet everyone they meet,
and they also have to think about the sheer number of germs on all those ungloved hands. So as not to
appear ungracious or unkind, female members of the royal family are advised to carry a clutch
so that both hands appear cleverly occupied and unavailable for handshakes, according to royal
etiquette expert Myka Meier in an interview with Good Housekeeping.
Royal protocol dictates that royalty extend their hands first in a greeting,
an etiquette called the "no-touch" rule, according to ABC News. Clutching a purse
may be the most polite way to withhold that honor from fans.
Kate Middleton is almost always seen at public events clutching a small bag with both hands.
In 2017, Meghan Markle received public criticism for a perceived breach of etiquette by carrying a
handbag instead of a clutch during her first official public appearance in Nottingham.
Using a clutch as a tactic has a long history. Princess Diana would use hers to cover her
cleavage from compromising camera angles. This happened so often that her handbag designer,
Anya Hindmarch, called them "cleavage bags," according to Cosmopolitan Magazine.
"It was a slightly naughty something to do. I think that gave her more confidence."
A day on the royal schedule may begin with a hat,
but it should end with a tiara. Unless you're unmarried.
The first time royal women wear tiaras is on their wedding days,
according to Diana Mather, an etiquette expert speaking with the BBC. Thereafter,
they're only worn at night on special occasions. Since antiquity,
a tiara was a sign that a woman was betrothed. Unadorned heads meant that a woman was single
and ready to mingle. According to Christie's, a nuptial crown called a coronal was widely
worn by brides in all social classes during the Medieval period. Ever since, tiaras have been
associated with a coming of age and a loss of innocence, and this tradition continues today.
But until 6 p.m., hats are king. The tradition to wear hats and fascinators at
formal occasions dates back to before the 1950s when women rarely exposed their hair in public,
according to BBC News. Fascinators, those ornamental and unpractical headpieces worn
on special occasions, are meant to highlight social class and wealth.
In her bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey, Meghan Markle revealed the
royal family's strange curtsying habits behind closed doors. Sarah Ferguson,
Duchess of York, helped Markle learn to curtsy in order to meet the late
queen at a private family event, as reported in Showbiz CheatSheat.
After Kate Middleton became the Duchess of Cambridge, Queen Elizabeth II updated the
Order of Precedence, which outlines who in the royal family must curtsy to whom,
to clarify to whom Middleton owes a curtsy. When the duchess is without her husband,
Prince William, she is obligated to curtsy to Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie. But
when accompanied by her husband, Middleton could forgo those but still had to curtsy
to the then-Prince Charles, Camilla, and the queen, according to The Telegraph.
The Order of Precedence was also updated in 2005, after Prince Charles married
Camilla Parker Bowles. Those changes gave preference to blood relations so that none
of the members born into royalty would have to curtsy to Parker Bowles or other in-laws.
“Ma’am”
"Oh, you don't curtsy to her. She's not royal."
However, when accompanied by royal spouses, members must bend the knee
to those higher in the line of succession, including those married into the family.
The late Queen Elizabeth was the ultimate game master at dinner. She dictated the rules of
behavior and how much guests were allowed to eat. According to Reader's Digest, guests at her dinner
table could only begin eating after she had and had to finish when she did. Waiting for an elderly
lady with a small appetite might be a frustrating meal, but this royal custom has long been in
place. According to historian Kate Hubbard, speaking in The Splendid Table, Queen Victoria
was a glutton who ate plenty and very quickly. Her dinners were finished within an hour and contained
several courses. Oftentimes, her guests had their plates whisked away while they were still eating.
This etiquette has been broken before, however. Former royal
butler Paul Burrell said that an unnamed prince made the mistake of serving himself
fruit before Queen Elizabeth served herself, as reported by The Guardian.
The late Queen Elizabeth II used her handbag to send signals during dinner. According to
The Telegraph, if the queen placed her bag on the table, she wanted the gathering to
end within five minutes. If she placed the bag on the floor, the queen was not enjoying her
company and wanted staff to intervene. If only we could all use that trick!
For anyone hoping to snag a royal autograph, this one will be a real let-down. The royal
family is forbidden from handing out their signatures, according to Glamour U.K.
But rules are meant to be broken, and in one heartwarming moment, it has. During a visit to
St. Blazey, a region that had been devastated by torrential storms, then-Prince Charles was
asked for an autograph by victims. Charles agreed, surprising his security detail. He even apologized
for his uneven handwriting, explaining that he "never writes standing up."
In a similar act of kindness, Meghan Markle signed a 10-year-old's autograph book while
on a visit to Cardiff, Wales. She was accused of breaking protocol,
but Markle's note was cleverly innocuous. She had only addressed her fan, writing "Hi,
Kaitlin," with a drawn smiley face, according to Town & Country.
Similarly, royals rarely take photos with fans,
but the reasoning is far different. A selfie would require people to turn their backs on
the royal family and the monarch, which could be seen as disrespectful, according to Insider.
The royal family is famously neutral when it comes to politics. According to CNN, when British
tabloid The Sun alleged on its front cover that the late queen "backs Brexit," Buckingham Palace
immediately refuted it, proudly reminding all that the queen remained politically neutral
for her entire reign. And although there is no British law against their voting in elections,
they restrain themselves from that civic duty, anyway, according to Vanity Fair.
The royal family's neutrality is rooted in the English Civil War in the mid 1600s.
"Well, Essex, are you prepared?"
"We are. Shall we begin at 10?"
"Oh make it nine, my lord. I'm positively starving.”
This led to the monarchy's power being drastically
reduced and its governing authority effectively replaced with Parliament.
Parliament's refusal to honor Edward VIII's marriage to Wallis Simpson without
his abdication in 1936 was a reminder of the monarchy's ultimate dependence
on parliamentarians. If the monarch were to take political sides, they would lose all
remaining leverage. Instead, they position themselves as advocates for all Britons.
Unsurprisingly, this rule remains a topic of conversation, especially in recent years. When
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle encouraged Americans to vote in the 2020 election,
Queen Elizabeth II's staff saw this as a violation of protocol and urged
the royal family to distance themselves from the politically active couple, according to The Times.
There's always something prim and proper about the way Duchess Kate Middleton sits at public events,
and only eagle-eyed fans will be able to spot the cause. The answer is her modest
way of sitting called the "duchess slant," as coined by Myka Meier. This pose is created by
sitting with one's knees together, slanted to one side, and with ankles usually uncrossed.
The slanted pose has an elongating effect on the sitter's legs, but most importantly,
it effectively hides what shouldn't be seen by cameras. Although Middleton is most
associated with the pose, the "duchess slant" dates back to Princess Diana.
Meier has termed a few other royal sitting techniques, according to The Daily Mail.
Whenever Middleton is sitting in front of a crowd, she utilizes the more precautious
"Cambridge Cross," which includes the crossing of her ankles. Meghan Markle, who loved pushing
boundaries in her time with the royal family, found a way to cross her legs and adhere to royal
etiquette. The result is called the "Sussex Slant," in which she drapes one leg over the
other but both knees are kept together at a slant to keep the same level of coverage.
Being a royal means being an expert at steps and staircases. As royal protocol would have it,
royal ladies have to keep their chins parallel to the floor,
according to Myka Meier. The reasoning behind it is to maintain proper posture,
which royals are expected to have at all times, and stairs are no exception.
According to Meier, a downwards-facing chin might convey apathy or disinterest. But royal
women don't have to worry about tripping over themselves; royal men are advised to always be
on hand. When walking down the stairs, the male members of the family keep a step or two ahead of
their female companions in order to catch their fall. Meier notes that Prince William is often
seen extending his hand backwards toward his wife out of caution as they descend stairs.
Proper etiquette has little patience for a balancing act,
with royal women usually advised to keep their hands clasped in front of them — but they are
allowed to gently grip a banister if there's one available, according to Cosmopolitan Magazine.
Mealtime is a major danger zone for bad manners. Unsurprisingly, royal dinner time
etiquette is brimmed with guidelines so that the royal family can avoid pitfalls and embarrassing
moments. This includes the way royals are allowed to eat with their forks and knives.
Although it's generally acceptable in proper society to spear one's food with a fork and
bring food upwards with the fork's tines facing down, the royals take things one
step further by only balancing the food on top of the tines, according to Myka Meier.
Unlike in America, the royal family constantly holds a fork with their
left and a knife with their right. Once the meal has started, royals do not put
their utensils down unless they excuse themselves from the room. In this case,
they must cross their utensils as an indication of being unfinished.
With their unusual style of holding utensils and balancing morsels on the tops of their forks,
the royal family must have loads of practice. According to former Buckingham Palace Chef
Darren McGrady, in an interview with Today, the royal family eats all their fruit with a
fork and a knife, and each fruit has its own way of being cut and eaten.
"And then cut a few rings, and you can continue the conversation."
One would expect the royal family to let their guard down every now and then,
especially at their vacation home. Speaking to Marie Claire, Darren McGrady said the royal
family has more informal habits at their holiday home of Balmoral Castle in Scotland. Predictably,
however, the royal family has a different definition of informal. According to McGrady,
the family dresses up in ball gowns for dinner and eats on fine china. After dinner,
a bagpipe player walks around their table while playing for their entertainment.
According to Marie Claire, royal etiquette has a strict dress code
for black tie events. Men wear black dinner pants and a jacket, along with other details,
including a row of braid down their tapered pants and a turned-down collar. Men avoid adornments
like frills and ruffles. Women wear dresses and avoid wearing bright nail polish. According to
royal expert Victoria Arbiter, the late Queen Elizabeth II required women to wear tights,
but this rule has been broken by both Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle.
Royal protocol dictates that the monarch snoozes first. According to the late Queen
Elizabeth II's former private secretary, Sir William Heseltine, those who stayed in
the queen's home waited for her to go to bed before they did. As a result, members of the
royal family and other guests could wait around in the sitting room and chat for hours until the
queen finally retired to bed. And unfortunately for them, the queen went to bed at midnight,
according to Harper's Bazaar. This was reported in 2018, when the queen was a ripe 92 years old.
This one etiquette rule was disliked by Princess Diana,
who struggled to stay awake in those late hours. According to Heseltine,
she began excusing herself early to bed, but he considered this to be in "bad form."
While her company tired themselves out in the sitting room, Queen Elizabeth
liked to consume police procedurals before bed, according to The Times. Reportedly,
the queen was particularly a fan of the BBC drama "Line of Duty." Go figure.
"Now we're sucking diesel."