♪♪
[APPLAUSE]
>>UH, MR. HARTMAN,
YOUR 3:00 APPOINTMENT IS HERE.
>>OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
THIS IS THE ONE YOU REFERRED,
CORRECT?
>>UH, YES.
MY ROOMMATE.
OH, AND UH...
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
HE'S FAIRLY NEW TO THE
BUSINESS WORLD, SO...
>>YOUNG GUY, HUH?
>>YEAH.
>>WET BEHIND THE EARS?
>>ACTUALLY I AM.
MY NANNY GOT A LITTLE
CARRIED AWAY WITH BATH
TIME THIS MORNING.
>>WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?
>>I ASSURE YOU, MR. HARTMAN,
THIS IS NO NONSENSE.
THIS IS AN INTERVIEW.
ONE ON ONE.
MANO Y BABY.
>>SIR, THIS IS SPENCER.
>>A PLEASURE, SIR.
>>WOW, SPENCER.
JASON DIDN'T TELL
ME THAT YOU WERE-
>>VERY HANDSOME?
[LAUGHS]
HE OFTEN FAILS TO MENTION THAT.
>>YES.
THAT.
>>EXCUSE ME, JASON.
DO YOU BY CHANCE HAVE A
HIGH CHAIR OR A BUMBO?
>>OH, UH, NO.
SORRY.
>>NO MATTER.
JUST SET ME DOWN ON THE DESK.
I LIKE TO BE CLOSE.
AND IF YOU'LL JUST GIVE ME A
MOMENT TO FIND MY CENTER,
I JUST LEARNED HOW TO
SIT UP THIS MORNING.
YES, THANK YOU JAS-
THAT'S- THAT'S PERFECT.
>>THANK YOU, JASON.
>>SO SPENCER,
TELL ME A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT YOUR BACKGROUND.
>>WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW OF
MY PREVIOUS WORK EXPERIENCE?
>>YOU'VE WORKED OTHER PLACES?
>>OH, YES.
PRIOR TO THIS,
I WAS A CHIROPRACTOR,
BUT MY PATIENTS SEEMED
UNCOMFORTABLE.
>>BECAUSE OF YOUR TINY HANDS?
>>I WAS GOING TO SAY BECAUSE
OF MY INSURANCE POLICIES.
>>OH, UH...
YEAH.
>>ARE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE
WITH MY TINY HANDS?
>>NO.
NO, I'M NOT.
I SHOULD WARN YOU THIS JOB
ISN'T A WALK IN THE PARK.
>>OH, NEITHER WAS BIRTH,
WHICH I REMEMBER VIVIDLY.
>>I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR THAT.
>>AND WHO KNOWS?
PERHAPS ONE DAY I COULD EVEN
SIT WHERE YOU'RE SITTING.
>>[LAUGHS]
WE'LL SEE.
LET'S NOT GET PREMATURE.
>>I WAS PREMATURE.
>>I'M SO SORRY.
>>I'M TOTALLY KIDDING.
I WAS ACTUALLY TWO WEEKS LATE.
MOTHER'S WOMB WAS
MUCH TOO COZY.
[LAUGHS]
OH, WHAT A LARK WE JUST HAD.
OH, UH, SIR...
JASON SEEMS TO HAVE LEFT
MY DIAPER BAG BY THE DOOR.
I WONDER IF YOU MIGHT BE
ABLE TO GET IT FOR ME.
>>OH, OF COURSE.
>>THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH.
>THIS ONE, RIGHT?
>>WELL, WELL, WELL.
IT SEEMS I'M ALREADY
ORDERING YOU AROUND.
>>WHY, YOU LITTLE-
>>UH-UH-UH.
WOULDN'T WANT TO SAY SOMETHING
YOU'D REGRET TO YOUR SUPERIOR,
WOULD YOU?
>>YOU SITTING IN MY CHAIR
DOES NOT MAKE YOU MY SUPERIOR.
>>OH, NO?
BURP ME.
>>WHAT?
>>BURP ME.
>>I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
>>TAKE THE OSCAR THE GROUCH
CLOTH OUT OF THAT BAG AND
EXPEL THE AIR BUBBLES FROM MY
UNDER-DEVELOPED STOMACH.
>>I WON'T DO IT.
YOU'RE A MADMAN.
>>PERHAPS,
BUT IF YOU DON'T BURP ME,
AIR WILL BUILD UP IN
MY DIGESTIVE TRACT,
CAUSING ME TO CRY.
ARE YOU REFUSING TO
HELP A CRYING INFANT?
>>YES.
>>[CRIES]
>>STOP, STOP.
>>I CAN GET LOUDER.
[CRIES LOUDER]
>>OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
I'LL DO IT.
>>THERE WE GO.
A LITTLE HIGHER PLEASE,
TOWARDS THE SHOULDERS.
THERE WE-
[BURPS]
OH, EXCUSE ME.
I SEEM TO HAVE GOTTEN A
BIT OF HALF-DIGESTED
FORMULA ON YOUR SUIT.
>>IT'S NO PROBLEM.
>>THAT'S RIGHT.
IT ISN'T.
THAT WILL BE ALL, HARTMAN.
THANK YOU.
>>IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN GET YOU, OR...
>>I'LL LET YOU KNOW.
>>DO YOU WANT THIS
OPEN OR CLOSED?
>>OPEN, PLEASE.
OH, ON SECOND THOUGHT-
LEAVE IT OPEN.
HM...
PERHAPS I ACTED A
LITTLE TOO HASTILY.
JASON?
>>YES, SIR.
>>SEND HARTMAN BACK IN.
I NEED A DIAPER CHANGE.
GREETINGS, AUDIENCE.
IF YOU WOULD BE SO KIND
AS TO SHARE THIS WITH YOUR
FRIENDS WHO LIKE BABY VIDEOS-
YOU KNOW THE ONES-
I WOULD BE EVER SO GRATEFUL.
FEEL FREE TO CHECK OUT
OUR OTHER SPENCER
SKETCHES RIGHT OVER HERE.
OH, OH DEAR.
[BURPS]
MM.
IT'S LIKE GETTING A
SNACK ALL OVER AGAIN.
GOOD DAY.