I wanted to take a moment
to talk about the Academy Awards.
The nominations just got announced today,
and, uh, everyone's excited
because it looks like Leonardo DiCaprio
might actually get the Oscar that he deserves!
Come on, Leo!
We're behind you.
But, uh, while this might be the year
that the model-dating environmentalist
finally gets his due,
other marginalized miron... minorities
haven't made the same level of progress.
I'm specifically talking about black people.
For more, please welcome Roy Wood, Jr., everybody.
(cheering, applause)
Trevor, you know, man, this whole thing is messed up
because it's the same thing every year--
great movies made by black people come out.
Everybody goes and sees the movie.
The movie gets great reviews.
And then then the nominations come out
and we spend the whole day feeling like... like...
Like black people. -Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah.
Yeah. I hear you, Roy. I hear you. You know...
uh, the big question is, though, did any black movies
really deserve to get nominated this year?
Let me ask you. What did you like this year?
Oh, that was easy-- for me,
I mean,
-Oh, yes. Yeah. -Yeah, I mean, Michael B. Jordan was fantastic.
Ryan Coogler did an amazing job directing it.
Oh, Tessa Thompson? Tessa Thompson was good.
Yeah, and you know who got nominated?
Sylvester Stallone, the only white dude in the whole movie.
Okay, okay, but, Roy, uh,
let's say the writers of
They got nominated for best screen-screenplay.
You mean these writers.
That movie was about gangsta rap
and they still found a way to nominate white people.
Straight Outta Compton?
More like
O... Yeah, uh... Okay, but, look, Roy,
let-let's be honest, let's be honest.
It's easy to point fingers,
but you and I, we both know
that the problem isn't the Oscars.
I know.
-You know who's to blame. -Yeah.
White people.
N... No, no. No, no, Roy. No, no.
You know who's really to blame?
The media?
Roy. It's not the media.
You know who it is.
Black people.
That's right, Roy.
Black people are to blame,
And not just any black people, but black filmmakers.
It's time for black filmmakers
to rise up and admit that they know the only way
to win Best Picture is by pandering to white Oscar voters.
Yeah, that's right. We know the rules.
If we want to win an Oscar we have to make a movie
-about black people being oppressed. -Yup.
I called out these past... I'll call out these past nominees
and you tell me what's the first thing that comes to mind
-when I call out these movies. -Okay, cool.
-Django.
-Selma.
12 Years A Slave.
-Well, I mean, s-slave for 12 years.
Exactly. White people love feeling bad
about how they treated black people,
so to make a hit black movie you need a whip,
a fire hose or a Negro spiritual.
(bleep). No, no, you know what, this is so true.
Now that I think about it,
you know, the only black prominent person
who got nominated for an Oscar today--
that was The Weekend. Yeah.
For that
which is basically a movie about a rich white guy
who likes whipping people.
Exactly. I rest my case.
And here's the thing--
white people know how to get that Oscar attention.
They do what they got to do.
They gain weight. They lose weight.
-Or they get really ugly. -Exactly.
White people play to their strength,
and black filmmakers need to understand that, man.
I... Look, I hear you there, Roy,
but I think it sucks
that if black people want Academy Awards
we can't just make movies about anything but slavery.
No, no, no, no, no, no. We can make any movie we want.
We just have to trick white people
into thinking the movie
What do all award-winning slave movies have?
They have scenes like this.
(humming a tune)
See, man, you put that humming underneath that, man...
Dude,
would've been nominated five times
if they replaced the gangsta rap with spirituals like that.
They want NWA?
Let's give them NWA.
(man humming a tune)
-That was, uh... -Yeah.
-That was deep, Roy. -Yeah.
You know what you're feeling right now?
That's the slavery salts I sprinkled on that movie.
You got to drizzle that on there if you want to win.
Look at
Coulda got an Oscar nod
if they'd have put a sprinkle of a little slavery in there.
ANNOUNCER:
(whoops)
And now he has to fight for his freedom.
CREED:
ANNOUNCER:
Yeah, I want to talk to you about training me.
Hey, I-I'm sorry your great-grandfather was a slave.
ANNOUNCER:
every white man alive.
-His journey will be dangerous.
ANNOUNCER:
A-Again, kid, you know,
I'm sorry your great-grandfather was a slave.
ANNOUNCER:
from 400 years of oppression.
You have to stand up and fight.
ROCKY:
I-I'm sorry your great-grandfather was a slave.
Sprinkle that slavery, man.
And the winner is Roy Wood, Jr., everyone.