“How are we to uproot the greed, anger, and wrong thinking lying at the base of our actions?…
One obvious answer is–through Zen. Not necessarily Zen Buddhism but Zen in its broad sense of a
one-pointed Aware mind; of a disciplined life of simplicity and naturalness as against a contrived
and artificial one; of a life compassionately concerned with our own and the world's welfare
and not self-centered and aggressive. A life, in short, of harmony with the natural order of things
and not in constant conflict with it. … In the East, Zen is declining due to
war and the heavy inroads of materialism and technology. In the West, however,
it is the disenchantment with the ‘good’ life produced by materialism and technology
that is largely fueling the current interest in Zen. For together with the realization that
technology makes ‘major contributions to minor needs of man’ is the awareness that we have become
cogs in an out-of-control wheel, living by a value system that does not see man as a human being,
but merely as a consumer of things.” ~ Philip Kapleau in Zen Keys, 1974
I’ve always had an interest in Zen, not because I want to be a Zen Buddhist, or that I think that
Zen has all the answers, but because something about Zen really resonates with me. Over the
last few years, but especially over the last few months, I’ve realised that I’ve been focused on
the wrong thing. I always used to think that the fight was with the world, I mean, you could see
it on this channel. I was almost in a constant state of conflict with the world around me. I
disagreed with the government. I disagreed with my colleagues. I disagreed with the school P&C board.
I disagreed with the supermarket’s decision to mix fake meat with real. I disagreed with anybody who
dared cross me. In the end, I was just disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing. But where did all
that conflict get me? Nowhere! Did it bring me happiness? No. Did it bring me fulfilment?
No. Actually, it only served to upset myself, as well as those around me. So why did I do it?
Stubbornness? Ego? Pride? Whatever it is, I’ve finally realised the issue. It’s taken me a long
time, but finally I have realised that the fight isn’t with the world… The fight is with myself.
And this realisation brings us to the first point I’d like to make about Zen… Intuitive wisdom.
Zen practitioners believe that we all hold a certain intuitive wisdom. We all know what we
should do, and what is right to do, but we often go against ourselves. I’ve done it for a long
time. I’ve been ignoring my inborn intuition. It’ll sometimes bubble up to the surface, but
then I push it back down again. Why is this? Why do we ignore our own intuition? I think there’s
probably a few reasons. Social pressures., peer pressure, trying to meet others’ expectations.
If your boss tells you to create an ad campaign that encourages children to eat fast food,
you just do it because you’re being paid to do it. If you’re a police officer and you’re told
to go out and quash the protest, you just do it, because you’re worried that if you don’t,
you’ll lose your job and livelihood. There’s lots of things we do just to appease our fellow man
no matter how irrational they may be. But I think most of us would agree that advertising fast food
to young children is not a good thing. Hitting protesters over the head with batons and shooting
them with rubber bullets is not a good thing. But yet people do it, even though they know they
probably shouldn’t. As described in Zen, this intuitive wisdom that we all have in each of us
hints at our naturally harmonious and interconnected nature. When you beat your
fellow man, you are beating yourself. When you are fighting with the person at the supermarket car
park over the last parking space, you are fighting yourself. These actions will not bring happiness.
They will not bring fulfilment. As Philip Kapleau put it, the goal of Zen (which we all inherently
know even if we’re not familiar with Zen) is to live “a life of harmony with the natural
order of things and not in constant conflict with it”. And that was my problem – Living
in a constant state of conflict and friction. But now it’s finally time for me to move on.
Cleanse your mind. Unfortunately, most of us willingly participate in activities
that are not good for our mental health. Specifically, social media, watching TV,
constant exposure to the 24-hour news cycle, hanging out or talking with people who negatively
affect us. Now I’m not saying that there’s not a place for all of these things, but spending
hours every day on your phone or computer watching a constant stream of negative news,
checking your social media feed, getting jealous of your so-called “friends”,
watching TV shows that encourage a superficial life, surely none of these things are helping us.
These things simply distract us, they fog our minds, they divert our attention from reality
and will ultimately lead to us becoming more aggressive, fearful, and paranoid.
For me, my biggest distraction was the news. “Exposure to 24-hour news and social media,
which is often heavily skewed toward the negative, can adversely influence your mental health”.
News networks, especially in the last decade or so, almost exclusively peddle in negative news.
Negative news gets more clicks and views, hence why almost every article is focused
on the negative. For me, there is only one option – stop watching the news – and I have
really been trying. For the last couple of years I have honestly been trying to give up the news.
I’ve experimented with it on and off and one thing that I found when I quit the news was that I had
so much more free time on my hands. I had more time to focus on doing more interesting things,
more rewarding things. Exercise, cleaning, gardening, playing with my children,
whatever it may be. But one thing that I know for sure is that the news never brings me happiness,
It’s a bane on my existence. So why do I watch it? Well, from now on I’m not going to watch
it. Thanks to its negativity, it’s brought me nothing but pain. Actually, the news isn’t even
that realistic. They show me all these disasters and tragedies happening around the world, but yet
when I look outside in my local neighbourhood, I see none of it. They may as well be talking about
what’s happening on Pluto. They say the world is a dangerous place, they show me all this
negative footage, but in reality, I see none of it. When I look out the door, there’s sunny skies,
singing birds, green trees, and generally friendly people. On the news, it’s always disaster.
Nothing good has come to me from the news. I’ve read on other people’s blogs about their
endeavours in quitting the news and in general, it’s made their lives much better. For example,
on this one – “Five Things You Notice When You Quit the News” – You feel better; You were never
actually accomplishing anything by watching the news; Most current-events-related conversations
are just people talking out of their arses; There are much better ways to ‘be informed’; and
‘Being concerned’ makes us feel like we’re doing something when we’re not”. Ultimately, the news is
clearly meant to agitate us more than educate us. So that’s it for me and news. Time to say goodbye.
Declutter / Simplify your life. Thanks to advertising, we’ve falsely been lead to believe
that material possessions bring us happiness, but actually, they usually result in the opposite.
Owning more stuff makes us stressed. Filling your house full of possessions that you barely use
doesn’t serve to improve your life, only clutter it. A cluttered house is a cluttered mind.
If you own too many cars, you have to keep those cars clean, you have to maintain them,
you have to house them, you have to insure them. Owning lots of cars is a chore,
and for what benefit? So you can tell other people, “Look at me, I own four cars!”.
Most people simply don’t care and many might even think you’re a try-hard. Nobody will think that
you’re a good person because you own four cars, and if they do, then they’re probably not the sort
of person you’d want to be friends with anyway. Owning a single car certainly can be useful,
but personally, I prefer to walk or ride a bicycle. Although I don’t like clutter,
I still own things that I don’t need. This outdoor set I bought over four weeks ago for our new unit,
I’ve only used it once. Luckily it only cost a couple of hundred dollars, but that said,
I had to start covering it in plastic because it was getting dirty and wet. I had to cover
the chairs and put them away in the shed or else the chairs start to fade and go bad. Yeah, owning
stuff can be a real hassle. If I lived by myself, I don’t even think I would own a table. When I
used to live in Japan, I pretty much sat on the floor all the time, and was perfectly comfortable.
Expect less or nothing, and just be. For me, this is the most important Zen attitude. It’s
our expectations that bring us unhappiness and disappointment. If you expect your boss to give
you a pay rise, and you don’t get one, but your colleague gets one instead, you get upset. You
may even feel anger towards your colleague. If you expect your friend to be on time, and he’s late,
you get disappointed and it destroys your afternoon. If you expect the weather to be
fine and you arrange to have a picnic, but then it rains, you get angry at the weatherman or the
weather bureau. But it’s all for nought. It’s the expectation that we’re holding on to that is
driving us to anger, not the reality of the situation. By clinging to these ideas and
expectations, we’re resisting reality (or the true nature of things). We’re “going against the
universe” as some people say. We’re causing ourselves pain and suffering, and for what?
Expectations obviously hurt us, so I think the solution is obvious – let go of our expectations.
Expect less or nothing, and just be, and then you won’t be setting yourself up to get hurt.
Acceptance (of things I cannot change). Do I have any control over world governments? Do I have
any control over Australian laws? Do I have any control over what my local councillors
vote on behind closed doors? Do I even have control over what my neighbour does?
No. The only thing I can control is myself and my own actions and reactions. Everything else in the
world I just have to accept or ignore. Now that doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything.
It doesn’t mean I have to go along with everything. But ultimately,
I have no control over what other people do. That doesn’t mean I should just give in to
tyranny and let people trample all over me… That I have some control over. If somebody approaches
me or my family with a large stick intending to cause us bodily harm, I will defend myself.
That is not outside my control. (To be fair, that sort of thing almost never happens,
despite what the news makes out). But if a world leader decides to persecute his people or go to
war, I have no bearing on that decision, and by me worrying about it, or expecting a certain outcome
is just me wasting my time and hurting myself. It only serves to bring unhappiness into my life.
I can only account for my actions. If others do evil things outside of my control,
that’s on them. It’s not my job to fight the world’s problems, and even if I wanted to, it’s an
unattainable goal. As Gandhi didn’t say, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” You can only
change yourself. Hopefully this will rub off on others, but if it doesn’t, that’s not your fault.
Mindfulness (live in the present). Mindfulness is a bit of a catchword, but it basically means
to be fully present, to be aware of where you are and what you’re doing, and not be overly reactive
or overwhelmed by what’s going on around you. I’ve forever been worried about the future. Will
I have enough money? Will the new government do the right thing? Will the pandemic go away? You
can forever worry about these things, but does it help? Does it change anything? From my experience,
no, it doesn’t. My worry has never been of a benefit to me. It’s only served to make me upset
and anxious. Instead, zen practitioners focus on the present. They are mindful of what’s going on
in their immediate environment. They focus on one thing – the thing they’re doing right now.
You should give your full attention to that thing and nothing else. If you’re eating breakfast,
focus entirely on eating. Enjoy the flavours. Enjoy the texture. But what you shouldn’t be doing
is reading the news, watching your phone, checking email, and every other distraction to take away
from the enjoyment of eating breakfast. If you’re with a friend, give your full presence to them.
If your with your kids, be fully present for them. Don’t sit with them watching your phone or
playing a game. They’ll think that you’re more interested in your phone than you are in them.
As you practise mindfulness, as you let it bleed into your daily life,
you’ll begin to realise a greater level of peace and freedom.
People like Zen. Actually, we do inherently like Zen. If we see a person react in a wild and
uncontrollable manner, we feel uncomfortable. If we see a person get angry at the receptionist,
we think that’s out of line. But if we see somebody act cool and collected
during a difficult situation, we admire them. Staying calm is an attribute that we admire,
but yet, in the moment during these sorts of situations, most of us think the best way to
react is by yelling, losing our temper, and doing everything except staying calm.
I have really been trying hard to stay calm in my life. The other day, a lady stole my car park
and I beeped my horn, but then I realised straight away that I did the wrong thing.
So what? She stole my park, there’s hundreds of others. So I honestly approached her afterwards
to apologise, but she literally ran away. I think she might have thought that I was upset,
but actually, I really wasn’t. Anyway, we can only try to improve ourselves one step at a time.
Forgiveness. We have to remember that everyone is at their own stage in life. Some people are
at that materialistic stage where they think the only thing important in their lives is
to have a fast car, gorgeous girlfriend, expensive suits, and hundred-dollar meals
at the fanciest restaurants. And that’s fine. They’re on their own journey. You’re on yours.
Some people actively try to control people. They gain positions of power where they make
Draconian rules. Despite our grievances, we have to accept and forgive these people,
but we certainly shouldn’t be bothered by them. As I said before, you can only control what you do.
If somebody else is going through a different learning path, you can only be there to support
them if they need you, but you can’t force your lifestyle onto them. They might try to convince
you that their way of life is much better than yours, they may even try to hurt you or make you
feel bad, but you know better. Fast cars and expensive suits will not bring you happiness.
They will only serve to add complexity to your simple life and won’t bring about true
self-actualisation. Forgiveness does not mean you forget what’s happened.
It doesn’t mean you’re erasing your past. It doesn’t even mean the other person will change
their behaviour – that’s completely outside of your control. All it means is that you’re
letting go of any anger or pain caused by that person and moving on to a better place.
Of course, none of this is saying that I’m perfect by any means.
It’s not saying that Zen is the one true answer. I’ve made lots of mistakes in my life.
I’ve constantly ignored my intuition to try to appease a faceless audience.
But now I think I’m on the right path. It’s time for me to stop fighting the world (an
almost useless activity that won’t result in what I want), but instead focus on building
my own inner strength until finally I reach a point where absolutely nothing can bother me.
“American dog say, ‘Woof, woof’. Korean dog say, ‘Mung, mung’. Polish dog say, ‘How, how’. So which
dog barking is correct? That is not ‘dog’ barking, that is human beings’ barking. If dog and you
become one, then you know sound of barking.” ~ Seung Sahn, Korean Zen Master.