David: Anthony Weiner has resigned. And this happened while I was at Netroots Nation, people
watching on TV with great interest. Again Anthony Weiner was heckled. He apologized
to his constituents, he apologized to his wife.
And you know what? I hate to go back at this, Louis, when I first said clearly the pictures
are of Anthony Weiner, I was berated on YouTube, I was berated on Twitter, emails constantly
saying how could I possibly be so wrong that it's even pictures of him? Well, lo and behold,
they were of him, and he actually did sent them out... send them out.
And then I said Anthony Weiner will have to resign, and people again, Louis, started saying
he should not resign and he will not resign, and again, I wasn't saying he should be resigning,
I just said will he resign. My prediction was yes, and he did resign, by the way, to
huge applause in the room. Did you hear some of this, Louis?
Louis: No.
David: You haven't heard any of this?
Louis: No.
David: And you know that he was heckled again by Benjy Bronk from "The Howard Stern Show"?
Louis: I've been told, but I still have not heard that.
David: Listen first to the cheers when he announces this.
Anthony Weiner: So today I'm announcing my resignation from Congress.
[Cheering]
Unidentified Man: Yeah! Bye-bye, pervert!
Weiner: So my colleagues...
David: [Laughs] OK.
Louis: Well, that was like two people.
David: So that was... that was first a "bye-bye, pervert", OK? So then it continues, and Benjy
Bronk is in there. And you know what... it always happens, Louis, people start getting
upset that Benjy Bronk is in there or whoever and they're not taking this seriously enough.
A Congressman is resigning for Tweeting pictures of his... for twenising.
Louis: Yeah. Things can't be taken seriously 100% of the time. There has to be some comedic
relief.
David: So let's listen to Benjy.
Weiner: ... can get back to work, my neighbors can choose a new representative, and most
importantly, that my wife and I can continue to heal...
Bronk: [Simultaneously] Senator Weiner, the people want to know, were you fully erect?
The people demand to know!
David: All right, so that question was, first of all, he refers to him as Senator Weiner,
which I guess is just part of the shtick to just make it even more absurd, and then asks,
"Were you fully erect? The people demand to know," and then he asked that a couple times.
Weiner: ... from the damage I have caused.
Bronk: [Simultaneously] Were you fully erect?
[Shouting]
Journalist: Hey, hey, get outta here!
Journalist: ... serious?
Journalist: He's not with us.
David: All right, so then other journalists trying to distance themselves.
Weiner: To repeat, most importantly, most importantly, so that I can continue to heal
from the damage that I have caused.
I want to thank my colleagues in the House of Representatives, Democrats and Republicans
alike.
David: By the way, why is he thanking them? They're the ones who want him out.
Louis: Yeah.
David: He's leaving because of them. What is he even thanking them for?
Louis: What is he even talking about? Just get out of the room.
David: Right. Don't even do a press conference, honestly, just do a statement.
Louis: Yeah.
Weiner: They come from different places around the country, but fundamentally, we all agree,
they're all patriots, and I will miss them all.
Bronk: Senator Weiner, fully erect, are you more than seven inches? Senator...
David: [Laughs] All right, so there's Benjy asking "Senator" Weiner again if he is truly
more than seven inches, Louis, which is a really... it's a relevant question, I think,
given the-- if you're going to send out so many pictures, you have to know that's a question
that's going to be on the table.
Louis: Yeah. If the American public has seen pictures of your junk, they should at least
have some dimensions to go along with it.
David: They need-- they need relative size.
Louis: Yeah.
Weiner: I also want to express my gratitude to members of my staff.
Louis: He could've at least put a dollar bill in the picture for scale.
Weiner: They're young people who are not paid very much, they're people that work very hard
and very long hours. Ultimately, those people define the notion of service.
Louis: What is he doing?
Weiner: I want to thank, of course, the many people who've helped me...
David: It gets better.
Weiner: ... the people who have volunteered, the people who've given me advice, the many
of my constituents who have offered me good ideas. And of course I want to express my
gratitude to my family, to my mother and father who instilled in me the values that carried
me this far...
David: It's... how could you parody that even better? He, he...
Louis: I know. Thank you, Mom and Dad for...
David: And it's not just thanking them for getting him to where he is, he's thanking...
Louis: ... instilling the values in me of penis-Tweeting.
David: He... this is a values issue, many would say. In other words, the problem with
his values is that he's twenising or twunking, depending on which word you want to use, to...
Louis: Yeah. The problem is his values are questionable.
David: That's... so don't thank... don't bring... the last thing... he's throwing his parents
under the bus.
Louis: Now I'm wondering if there are pictures of his dad's penis on the internet.
David: Why would you even bring your parents in and thank them for your values when values
are what's at stake here? You sent the media on a wild goose chase claiming there's federal
investigations. Those are the values your parents instilled? And Natan's dying to get
in on this.
Natan: Yeah, this is how you resign when it's an honorable discharge from the House of Representatives.
David: Right.
Natan: But this is a dishonorable discharge.
David: Absolutely.
Louis: Yeah. First of all, he's giving a speech like he's about to die, and I don't know,
it's weird.
Weiner: ... to my brother, Jason, and of course, to my wife, Huma, who stood with me this entire
difficult period, and to whom I owe so very much.
David: That's the other question, is his wife standing by him?
Natan: No. She was nowhere to be found.
David: Hold on a second. We need to make sure his mic's on.
Natan: She was not standing by him, so I don't know what he's referring to.
David: I heard a rumor that she... at one point she said she would be willing to go
out and do his... give his resignation speech. Could that possibly be true?
Natan: That's absurd.
David: Or is that just a false rumor, you think, Louis? It makes no sense.
Louis: Probably a false rumor.
David: Let's hear the last few seconds, where there's another key question asked.
Weiner: I got into politics to help give voice to the many who simply did not have one. Now
I'll be looking for other ways to contribute my talents to make sure that we live up to
that most New York and American of ideals, the idea that leaving a family, a community,
and ultimately, a country is the one thing that all unites us, the one thing we're all
focused on. With God's help and with hard work, we will all be successful.
David: Weird.
Weiner: Thank you, and good afternoon.
Louis: I think...
David: No, Louis, you're... Louis decided to talk over the last key question. Let me
go back...
Louis: I think people were more focused on his penis.
Weiner: With God's help and with hard work, we will all be successful. Thank you, and
good afternoon.
Bronk: Will you maintain your hot physique and smooth, sexy chest?
David: All right, so the last question, will you maintain your hot physique now that you
are not going to be Tweeting anymore? You know what, we... all we know is he's not going
to be in Congress, we don't know that he's not going to be Tweeting. So...
Louis: Now he can penis-Tweet all day.
David: Let's hope, for Anthony Weiner's sake, that he does go on to, I guess, bigger and
better things. Is that fair to say, Louis, or is that not the way we want to phrase it?
And you know what? I predicted this, but honestly, should he really have had to resign? I mean,
Ted Kennedy essentially drowned a woman and went home to sleep and then called his lawyer
the next day, and he was... he stayed in what, 30 years after that? I mean, how long was
he in?
Louis: Had the situation involved his penis, it might have been completely different.
David: Yeah, well, it was going to had she not drowned.
Natan: Not only that, Ted Kennedy almost became president nine years after this happened.
David: Yeah, I mean, we almost... we almost had a president, Louis, who essentially drowned
a woman, or allowed a woman to drown and did... and went home to sleep. So... and again, all
the people saying this is humiliating enough for Anthony Weiner, why do people have to
yell stuff? If he didn't want to be humiliated, number one, he didn't have to do a press conference
at all, I mean, he didn't take questions, he could've done this Richard Nixon-style
where he just talks into a camera, and if he really didn't want to be humiliated, he
could've just not sent out pictures of himself on Twitter at all.
Louis: Right.
David: That's really the way to avoid being humiliated.
Louis: He's not a dumb guy, maybe a foolish guy, but he's not a dumb guy. And this is
where we're at, when you do something like this and someone finds out about it, you end
up resigning, and that's what happens every time.
David: Yeah.
Natan: This looks like either he wanted to be humiliated or he's setting himself up for
the comeback later on.
David: Right.
Natan: Where he's going to... he's going to be able to look to this as his farewell the
first time around. It will be like a positive exit.
David: Yeah. Maybe it's a strategy. I don't know who he's working with.
The other funny thing about Benjy Bronk, the Howard Stern writer who asked the questions,
afterwards, somebody asked him where he's from, and instead of saying "The Howard Stern
Show", he claimed to be from Lubavitch News, [laughs] which is just completely unbelievable.
I mean, he is a Jewish guy, but he certainly wasn't representing Lubavitch News. That we
can be sure of.
Louis: That's gold.
Transcript provided by Alex Wickersham and www.Subscriptorium.com. For transcripts, translations,
captions, and subtitles, or for more information, visit www.Subscriptorium.com, or contact Alex
at subscriptorium@gmail.com.