Dear Beauty Community of YouTube, I am breaking up with you.
and it's not me, it is in fact you.
I've been in this relationship with the beauty community for almost 4 years now
and we're just not compatible anymore.
I posted that Deaf Awareness video and in only 2 hours,
it got so much positive feedback and
I realized at that moment that I'm not happy doing this anymore.
I got into the beauty community 'cos I had nothing good in my life after high school.
Doing makeup videos was the one thing that
gave me a little bit of happiness during a 24 hour day.
Now let me just emphasize the fact that I don't hate/dislike the community.
I'm just tired and bored.
came to the community having a love for makeup,
wanting a career out of makeup,
and that is not a thing that is possible where I am.
I was hoping that YouTube would help me open doors and
have somebody know what I can do.. and yeah.
Not only that, but the bigger thing was I saw a community,
a group of friends, that always interacted with each other
and everbody made it so much fun.
And it was fun for a long time. For the first 3 years.
Even going back a year before I started doing YouTube regularly, it was so much fun.
People came together. But for the past year or so, it hasn{t felt like that at all.
I remember when everybody interacted with each other.
I rememb er when we did contests instead of quick giveaways.
Makeup contests and everybody was showing off their looks and it was so much fun.
Now all it is is writing a 5-letter word in a comment box and being on your way.
I remember when the content was so much fun
and so creative and it inspired a bunch of people.
I have so many subscriptions in my subscription box
and probably 97% of them are makeup related.
And I don't watch maybe, 60%, 70% of my subscription box anymore.
Most of what I've been seeing for the past year and a half is haul after hual after haul.
I'm one of those people that don't care how you spend your money,
but I just don't give a shit how much you spend on YouTube.
I came here 'cos I wanted to see what people could do.
I wanted to be inspired.
I wanted to get outside of my own box and do different looks.
I did not come here to see where you went and what you put in a plastic bag.
Idid not come here to see 30 people form into 1 person and become cookie-cutter.
Really, that's just not what I originally signed up for.
Ever since I uploaded that video a couple of days ago,
I realized that I wanted to do something better.
I wanted to do something different and I wanted to talk about things.
I don't think I'm going to stop makeup videos 100%.
I still like watching them and I still like making them.
I'm just not happy doing them all the time anymore.
There are more important things that need to be talked about othan a taupe eyeshadow.
Now I've got a few deaf-related videos that I have planned.
I have plans to write down my ideas on paper, film them, and upload them on here.
I don't think I am going to run my makeup blog anymore.
I've never really had fun doing actual blogging on makeup.
I'm still going to keep my Instagram page for my makeup looks.
I still love makeup. I'm still going to play with it every single day.
I do not want to let go of makeup completely.
That would be me lying to myself.
All i have to say now is I am so happy that I am finally honest with myself.
I have been lying to myself for the past year and a half 'cos
I've always felt like makeup was the only thing I could do.
And after that video,I know that that's not the only thing I could do.
I can do a lot more than that.
And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
And here to new and hopefully better things and I will see you in my next video. Bye.