- Look, we all know there's no quarterback
that's been better in the playoffs than Tom Brady.
He's won more Super Bowls than anyone else.
You need to add up multiple Hall-of-Famers
just to sniff his total for post-season games won.
He even has more passing yards in the playoffs
than Super Bowl attendee Rex Grossman had in his career.
It's stupid.
That said, even the greatest has put together a performance
worthy of nothing more than fuel for a dumpster fire,
a complete stinker that was over before the second quarter,
a day best forgotten, an outing without hope,
a game that, well, was just the absolute worst.
This is The Worst Tom Brady Playoff Game.
(ominous music)
January 10th, 2010, Foxborough, Massachusetts,
Wild Card Weekend.
The Baltimore Ravens visited the New England Patriots
and leading up to kickoff, there was no reason to expect
the greater Boston area would develop a poopy stench
over the coming hours.
While it was expected to be a great matchup,
the storylines were working in the Pats' favor.
Tom Brady had never lost a home playoff game.
He was a perfect 7-0 at Gillette
with an eighth win back at Foxborough Stadium
that had no drama or controversy attached to it of any sort.
He'd even done pretty well at neutral sites,
starting off three for three before those pesky Giants
had to ruin his streak.
Plus, a slightly bigger deal of a streak for New England.
It's rarely talked about and even forgotten in some circles,
but the Patriots actually had a chance
to have a perfect season, 19-0.
Somehow, they didn't.
I bring that up not just to be an ass,
but also because in terms of storylines,
that Super Bowl loss was the last playoff game
the Patriots had played in.
The season that followed saw Brady's knee get shredded
on opening weekend, which let Matt Cassel become a thing
and also let the Dolphins win the East,
thanks to the Wildcat confusing everyone for a year.
So once the 2009 season rolled around,
everyone waited to see if we'd get the same Touchdown Tom.
In week one, he led a fourth quarter, double-digit comeback
against the Bills.
That sparked a pretty solid season for Brady and the Pats,
even earning Brady Comeback Player of the Year honors.
They wrapped up the division in week 16,
but with the chance to earn the AFC's three seed,
they played their starters to close out the regular season.
That move cost them one Wes Welker.
Now, I know what you're saying,
"A-ha, that gives Brady an excuse to be bad."
And to a degree, that's reasonable.
Even Brady acknowledged that this offense
ran through Welker,
who put up monster numbers on the season.
But Tom Terrific also spun it as a positive.
Maybe the offense ran through Welker too much.
Maybe this would force the Pats to do something different
and maybe, just maybe, that was actually an advantage.
The Ravens wouldn't possibly know
what these new-look, Welker-less Pats would try to do.
I mean, sure, there was still Randy Moss,
destroyer of worlds, fresh off another 1000-yard season.
But they also had a secret weapon.
The rookie Julian Edelman was basically a brand new,
fresh-from-the-box Welker, who Brady was working with
to get up to speed.
He'd already filled in for Welker earlier in the season
and proved pretty capable.
So in whatever this potential new look offense
Brady was imagining,
they'd still have a Welker-style weapon.
And if you're questioning how that logic
contradicted itself of, maybe we used too much Welker,
so let's use this Welker replica
and catch Baltimore off guard,
well, you're probably just overthinking it.
But you don't have to take it from me.
Here's one of the greatest football minds
this country has ever seen giving his thoughts
on Touchdown Tom.
Phil Simms!
Shit, sorry, I probably could've found a photo
not of the back of his head.
- [Phil Voiceover] Everybody's saying,
you know Tom Brady's just not quite as sharp
as we've seen in the past.
You are watching different football games than I am.
He has been sharp this last part of the season.
- [Narrator] You tell 'em, Phil.
Once the game got started, we were ensured
we would get to see Brady airing it out.
On the very first snap of the game,
Ray Rice took a handoff 83 yards for a touchdown.
So Tommy's gotta sling.
Down a quick seven, Brady's first pass actually lost
three yards to Edelman, but that's all part of the plan.
Keep them on their toes.
For his second time dropping back,
let's freeze it right here and play a little guessing game.
Do you think Brady's going to,
A, find Moss deep for a big chunk,
B, go back to Edelman,
who picks up the first down with some YAC,
or C, Brady has completely zero awareness of Terrell Suggs
coming off the left side for a strip
that sets the Ravens up to take a 14-point lead?
Okay, pencils down.
If you guessed C for Suggs, you move on to the next round.
The same wasn't really looking to be the case
for New England.
After Le'Ron McClain doubled the deficit,
Brady opened series number two with a sack,
courtesy of Ray Lewis.
But the drive led to a three-and-out instead of a fumble,
so that's progress for Brady.
And with New England's defense forcing a punt as well,
there was still so much time for Touchdown Tom
to do some good and earn some smooches from Gisele,
Belichick, his son, whoever.
Or, and hear me out, maybe Brady could make the comeback
even more exciting by feeling pressured,
not getting sad at all,
and throwing a completely dog-shit pass
straight to Chris Carr for the interception.
A few plays later, boom, more points for Baltimore.
Okay, pop quiz number two.
The very next time Brady got to throw the ball,
what do you think happened?
A, he targeted Moss for the very first time in the game.
B, the new toy Edelman did a good.
Or C, he throws to Sam Aiken who's definitely a real person,
while Ed Reed is nearby, who picks it off
after the ball hits Aiken straight in the hands.
- [Announcer] Here, he's well-protected.
On second down, the throw, Aiken!
And it's intercepted off the deflection.
- Once again, C is a winner.
That's back-to-back Brady pass attempts that got picked off.
At this point, after 12 minutes of play,
Brady is two of six for three yards with three turnovers.
And at the end of the first quarter,
the Ravens lead 24-zip.
It's not going good.
But it's also not going so bad
that it's Brady's worst game ever, so there's that.
That would still probably be his performance
on September 7th, 2003 against Buffalo.
In that disaster of a week one,
Brady completed 14 of 28 passes for 123 yards,
zero touchdowns, got sacked twice,
and tossed four picks in a shutout to the Bills,
a Bills team that would win
just five more games that season.
Brady even got benched for the Rohan Davey.
Just an absolute poop storm that then sparked a season
where the Patriots won the Super Bowl.
So using some sort of Phil Simms-ian logic,
that means Brady's gonna lead them back in this one.
And at the start of the second quarter,
they got a little bit of help.
The Ravens muffed a punt,
which let Kyle Arrington give Brady another chance.
Never mind the fact Arrington
didn't actually possess the ball.
Harbaugh didn't challenge it, so who cares?
Brady took advantage, finding new Welker for a touchdown.
And the teams flopped around for while
before calling it a half.
Ravens up, 24 to seven.
At that point, Brady had a very respectable
38 yards passing, which, should be pointed out,
was still more than four times what Flacco had.
Then again, Flacco had the lead, so yeah.
Then that's how it stayed.
After the Pats opened the second with another three-and-out,
the next time Brady got the ball, what did he do?
A, threw a pick, B, threw a pick, or C, threw a pick.
Yeah, hey, good job, you guessed it.
Yet another interception, this time, by Dawan Landry.
Brady did find Edelman for a second short score,
but that would be all she wrote for the Patriots' season.
On fourth and 10 with a minute, 15 remaining,
the Ravens' defense got to him one last time
and the clock ticked away as Jim Nance recounted us
with the saddest Flacco story I've ever heard.
- [Jim Voiceover] Joe Flacco comes out for one snap,
Joe Flacco who has a poster of Tom Brady
in his bedroom back at his parents' house in New Jersey.
He still spends a great deal of his off-season
living in his old bedroom.
- Another fun fact.
This is actually a two-for-one “Worst” episode
because this was also Joe Flacco's worst playoff game.
The Ravens' signal caller, the victorious champion,
the hero who rolled into Gillette
and handed Brady his first home playoff loss,
finished the day with eye-gouging numbers.
10 pass attempts, four completions, threw 34 yards,
no scores, and one interception.
What the hell?
But still, he got the win.
As for Brady, he turned the ball over four times
and despite being down after just 10 seconds,
managed just 154 yards on 42 attempts.
The loss fell on him.
The two other times he threw three picks in the playoffs,
he'd still done enough for his team to win,
both of which against the Chargers,
which kind of helps in the post-season.
But now, folks were asking if this performance,
plus an unimpressive end to his season,
was a sign of a new player, an aging Brady,
someone you might call Thomas instead of Tom.
But a few more Super Bowl wins
have proved that might've been a little short-sighted.
Now, I know you've already gone and said,
"What about Super Bowl XLII?"
But here's the thing.
Yes, they should've won that game.
And I'll reiterate, a lot of people forget
New England would've been 19-0 with win,
something no team has ever done.
It's wild.
No one ever really talks about that.
And while, yes, that's bad,
Brady actually played pretty well.
You could say that was Bill Belichick's worst playoff game
since he seemed to blow it as a coach,
but that's not this video.
This is about the time Tom Brady had every chance
to play the hero in front of his home crowd,
to get back on track after a devastating injury,
and prove he was still the same ol' Touchdown Tom.
But instead, he didn't.
He made his bed and pooped in the bed
and then all he could do was lie in that poopy bed.
(dramatic strings)