Hello I m Darren Magee and the topic for today s video comes from a question asking, What is
meant by the term echoism? So today I'm going to outline what the term means, where it comes from,
and look at some of the common characteristics and behaviours associated with echoism. So if
you find this video interesting please consider subscribing to my channel. Now it is important
to note that echoism is not a formally recognised psychiatric disorder. It is however considered a
construct or a concept used to describe certain patterns of behaviour and personality traits.
There are a lot of similarities and crossovers with echoism and with highly sensitive people,
however there are some key differences. For instance with highly sensitive people we see
sensory processing sensitivity and heightened responses to external stimuli. However, echoism
primarily revolves around self minimization and fear of being seen as selfish and narcissistic.
It comes from the Greek mythological character Echo who was known for her ability to mimic and
repeat the words of others. The term Echoism was coined by Doctor Craig Malkin in 2015 and
I'll add a link to his YouTube channel in the description of this video where he goes more in
depth into the subject. But it describes certain behavioural patterns such as self effacement, self
sacrifice and a strong inclination to prioritise other peoples needs and desires over one's own.
Echoism is rooted in a deep seeded belief that one's own thoughts, feelings and desires are not
as important as other people's. People exhibiting echoistic traits often downplay or dismiss their
own needs and consistently defer to the wishes and demands of others. Now it's not the same as
being shy or introverted. As I said previously it revolves around the fear of seeming to be
narcissistic. Echoistic people avoid attention, they abandon their own needs, they engage in
people pleasing behaviours. They over apologise, and in some cases they even isolate themselves.
People who exhibit echoistic traits may have experienced emotional neglect or invalidation
either in their upbringing or in a long term relationship leading them to develop a core belief
that their own thoughts, feelings and desires are insignificant. It can also come however from being
heavily influenced by other echoists. Echoistic people may fear being seen as being a burden,
might go to great lengths to avoid conflict or disappointing others. As a result, they can
become highly skilled at echoing or reflecting the desires and needs of others, often at the
expense of their own well-being. Echoism is seen as the opposite or the counterpoint to narcissism.
While narcissistic people tend to have a huge sense of entitlement,
they seek constant attention, constant validation, those with echoistic tendencies tend to downplay
or dismiss their own needs, their own feelings, sometimes to an extreme extent. They may struggle
to assert themselves, set boundaries or advocate for their own interests.
So some of the common characteristics and traits of echoism would be firstly, just like their
namesake Echo, they struggle to have their own voice, their own identity. They echo the opinions,
beliefs, feelings and the needs of others. They choose to play things down or give credit for
their own ideas or their own work to others rather than to be the centre of attention.
They can feel uncomfortable with compliments or praise, often deflecting or giving others
credit for their efforts. Secondly, echoistic people often prioritise the needs of others at
the expense of their own well-being. They may neglect self-care, suppress their own desires,
suppress their own emotions just to maintain harmony in their relationships. This can lead
to low self esteem and a diminished sense of self worth. Prioritising others, continually trying to
meet the expectations and desires of others can lead to a lack of fulfilment. Next they can lack
assertiveness. They can have difficulty setting and maintaining boundaries. They may have a fear
of disappointing or inconveniencing others. They can struggle to say no or could be talked down
quite easily. They tend to be self effacing and avoid conflict at all costs. Another common trait
would be they don't like putting themselves forward, even when they have a good idea or
good solutions, or they could well be the best person for the role. In many cases they like to
stay hidden in plain sight, maybe work behind the scenes, allow others to take the credit for their
work. Also, echoistic people might struggle connecting with their own emotions as well as
having difficulty expressing them. There can be different reasons for this, one being they
could just become so adept at suppressing their feelings just to avoid conflict or rejection. They
can overcompensate, can be very accommodating, very forgiving. They might over apologise, over
explain and engage in people pleasing behaviours. Now in a relationship or a situation where people
are genuinely selfish, narcissistic, this can't lead them to being coerced and manipulated. So in
conclusion, while narcissism involves an excessive focus on oneself, on the need for admiration,
echoism involves an excessive focus on others and a lack of assertiveness and self identity.
And the fear of being seen as selfish or attention seeking, taking up space, never standing up for
themselves or holding anyone else to account can be appealing to narcissistic types. In imbalanced
relationships where their own needs and desires are consistently overshadowed by others, well this
can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration and a sense of being taken for granted. However,
they feel stuck out the fear of offending. Echoism can lead to a lack of growth, suppressing of their
true self, regret over missed opportunities, and an inability to make true meaningful connections
with others. Which can lead to further anxiety and depression. I think addressing echoism might begin
by recognising the difference between selfish and self-interest. Recognise as well the difference
between caring about and caring for. And also recognising there are normal healthy levels of
feelings like anger, guilt and disappointment. And understanding no isn't a bad word. Maybe learning
that people don't have to sacrifice their own happiness and well-being, even their own future,
just to appease or to pacify others, especially those who may be the cause of the misery in the
first place. But in therapy people can learn and build on self-awareness around repeated patterns
of behaviour, and understanding the reasons behind the beliefs that drive those behaviours.
Practising self-care and self compassion is important as well. This can involve nurturing
one's own well-being, acknowledging personal worth, and engaging in activities that can
promote self growth and fulfilment. So that's a brief outline of echoism. Now at the moment
research into echoism is limited, but I'll confess it's something I'd like to learn more about,
so maybe I'll look at it again in the future. Perhaps it might even look more in depth at the
crossovers and the differences between echoists and highly sensitive people. So, as always, if
there's anything I've missed, anything you might like to add, please use the comment box below. As
always, there are some interesting conversations start from these videos. But if you find this
interesting, please consider subscribing to my channel and until next time, thanks for watching.