- Okay hello, welcome back to my channel.
Hope you're doing well - getting back into tea again,
you know, got a green one today.
Today I really wanted to talk about working,
which may sound a bit weird, and I know it doesn't
necessarily apply to everyone, but I'm gonna try and
make this a kind of general what I've learned.
It's about working for myself, but also,
just that post-graduation life - I wanna reflect on it,
I want to tell you what it's been like.
This is an episode of the Sleepover Club Series
where I talk candidly and honestly about things that
affect us as 20-somethings, as millennials,
or me personally, whatever.
So last month I made a Sleepover Club video about
sex - it's actually a really interesting topic for me
because across all of my working life, inadvertent
commas, as a Youtuber, I talk so much about
sex and gender, and kind of taboo subjects,
about relationships, and sexual health.
So yeah, in that video we talked about sex,
sexual health, all sorts of things.
And actually this week, which is the 24th to the 30th
of September, it is Sexual Health Awareness Week,
which is so important - it fits so perfectly
with what I was talking about in that video,
because the theme for this year is consent,
which, as you know, is vital, it's important,
and it's a conversation we all need to be having right now.
I think it's just wonderful that attention is being
drawn to it, especially on such a public scale.
So it is a great time to think about your sexual health,
and to get tested, and I've spoken all about that,
and how you can do it, and how it's easy, it's fine,
on that video, and on a blog post I did really recently
as well - I'll link both of them in the description.
I'd really love for you to check out the blog post
and the video, and to go and get tested.
If you follow the link below, you'll be able to find
your local STI testing clinic this Sexual Health Week.
Could there be a bad time to get tested - I think not.
So yeah, if you get the opportunity,
please do check that out, and now onto the video.
Let's talk about what it's been like, post-graduation,
in working life for me, and how I've kind of
learned to do the big adult life.
Let's start with graduating, okay?
So I graduated uni in summer of 2016.
So I was job hunting, and my boyfriend at the time
was like, have you considered going full-time with this?
Your YouTube stuff's doing well,
you should really consider it.
And I was like, haha, no, are you joking.
I was like, you know what, I'm gonna keep applying for jobs,
but I'll put my back into doing YouTube for like
three or four months, see if it could take off,
and alongside that, I'll try and get more consulting work.
And by consulting, literally all that means,
that's such a scary term, but literally all it means
is sitting down with friends, or whoever, who want to,
for me in this case, who want to know more about something,
want to know more about YouTube, want to know how to work
with YouTubers, more influencers, and they would pay
for my time to kind of inform them of how to do that.
So I did a little bit of it all.
It turned out through that period, that YouTube did take off
so I went on HMRC, I registered myself as self-employed,
I was like, right, you're committing to this.
I kind of regret going straight into self-employment.
I wish I had had actual, kind of like a proper
couple of jobs beforehand, because this is something
I don't really think you should take that lightly,
because it involves a lot of organization,
a lot of personal discipline, and a lot of working
on your own, and I think I would have really thrived
as a 21-year old or a 22-year old working in PR
or marketing, or anything really, anything at all.
So we're telling this story, aren't we - sorry.
So I'm working for myself.
I moved back up to London - I don't know how.
And then I get broken up with, and I start therapy,
and I go sober, and that's all a lot to deal with,
on top of learning how to run a business,
which is effectively what you are.
And it was a lot - I will say that straight out.
And it could feel really isolating at times,
at the beginning, it really did.
I remember I was crying to my therapist,
going I am so overwhelmed, I'm not necessarily,
I'm stressed, but it's just like adrenaline
because stuff keeps hitting at me, you know,
like everyone needs to contact me all at once,
and I've got this huge inbox, and I'm producing content,
and I'm making content - and she was like,
Lucy, you're doing this all by yourself, that's ridiculous.
What are you doing?
She was like, what are the bits you're enjoying most,
and what are the bits where you could use help?
And I said well, I really, really need help with advice,
really, and also managing an inbox,
and having also someone to be like a professional
negotiator, and at this time, I'd been with an agent,
but it just hadn't worked out between us.
So I needed someone who would definitely have my interests
at heart, and knew how to be a responsible negotiator,
and chase payments, so I found my manager, called James,
and he's wonderful, and he deals with all of my crap,
and I am so grateful to have him.
It instantly, honestly, made my life, like 15 times
less scary, because I was able to go, okay,
there's someone there, be able to negotiate all of the
long, old email chains with whoever I'm interacting with
about a thing I'm doing, and able to fight in my corner
in terms of payment, and in terms of late payment as well,
and also help me pursue new things,
things that are different, and things
I have no knowledge in at all, but he does.
I learned the hard way as well, with a lot of this stuff,
with agents and things, that you will lose money,
like I am still owed five grand by a brand,
but the people I was working with on that
won't chase the money, so I don't have any contacts there,
so I just can't get the money.
Working for yourself you have to
really relearn your relationship with money.
You make a lot of money on a project all at once,
and then you might not make any money for six months,
and it's a case of balancing,
and not seeing any of it as your income.
Financially, things have been actually okay, but also
not okay - I have had a lot of ups and a lot of downs.
I think a lot of people assume that in influencers
and influencer life, you make a bunch of money.
You get loads of free products, loads of money.
That's not how my experience has been.
A lot of time, when I started out, I was chasing a lot
of invoices, a lot of late payments.
One brand took nine months to pay me, which was really bad.
That's not standard - I was in this position where
I didn't know when I was gonna make any more money,
so I was desperately trying to hoard my money
so I didn't run out, and I was so stressed,
and I was so worried about my income,
and I felt really, really trapped,
because I knew I had a financially viable business
that I could make money from, it wasn't that I was
worried about everything declining, it was that
I was stuck in situations with contracts,
and being kind of tied down by different organizations,
and stupid things that I'd signed,
and I hadn't got lawyers to look over, or whatever,
'cause I just didn't know, that ended up trapping me.
I mean, and I couldn't work with people,
or I couldn't negotiate my own things,
and I couldn't chase payments.
I felt really, really at the mercy of everyone else.
I'd like to establish this was all before I had my current
management - they make everything run very smoothly.
So yeah, there was this period of time
where I was just like I literally don't know
when money is coming or going, and I am so scared.
And can I just say, I can't believe we're not taught
anything about tax returns at school.
How ridiculous is that?
'Cause so many people do stuff that's outside of work
that makes them some money, and they don't know
how to declare it, they don't know how to tell HMRC even.
For those of you that don't know, HMRC is Her Majesty's
Revenue and Customs, I think,
and it's where we all put our tax returns in,
where they investigate tax fraud - they manage the money.
I'm so sorry about the light in this,
I feel like it's done 101 things.
You know, it's not unique to influencers at all.
Everyone who's self-employed is chasing money
and is scared, like they are scared.
But yeah, I got super, super lucky at the beginning
of this year because I was able to work with other people
to make my work easier and better, and better quality.
There's a huge things I learned, when I started working for,
well, just working in general, which is
that you have to take time off.
Your body doesn't work 24/7, constantly switched on.
So probably what partially contributed to me
having a big old cry to my therapist that time,
was because, throughout 2017, I don't know if you remember,
but back in the day, I made about two videos a week,
and I was working all the time.
So when I started working, I was getting up at 11,
I was working from 12 through to about eight or nine PM,
often 10 or 11, every day.
I did not take weekends, I did not take bank holidays,
I worked on holidays, I worked all the time,
but I slept a lot, or I went out a lot, as well.
Whilst I wasn't drinking for at least a long,
like quite a few months of that, I was still burning
myself out really, really badly.
And it's not just me that does this.
I know so many people that start YouTubing, or influencing,
or whatever, as a career, and they just burn out.
So I realized, there was no balance in my life at all.
There was no balance - I also was on my own all day,
and my housemates used to joke I was like the family dog
because they'd come home from work, and I'd be like
hey, how was your day, do you wanna have dinner,
what's going on - it was a lot, a lot, a lot.
So I crashed really badly.
Do you remember how many videos I made in that period?
I tried to do veg, and I tried to do vita,
so I made over 100 videos in about 150 days.
And so by April, I think I made a video
just like I've burnt out, and sure enough,
I basically just had to take, I think I took
a couple of weeks off, and I had to really reevaluate
from the ground up how I was gonna manage my life,
basically, to accommodate for myself,
for accommodate for my mental health,
to accommodate for my physical health, as well.
Something that has helped incomparably
is sorting out my sleep schedule.
The beauty of being self-employed is you can wake up
at any time, you can do your work at any time, but it's also
like being a student because there is no parameter,
there just aren't parameters, and you can work at any time,
you can do as much work as you wanna do.
Bear in mind this was a really long process.
I didn't just suddenly sort my sleep schedule out.
It was fucked - so, I got this alarm clock,
and honestly, I can't tell you how helpful it was,
and I'd recommend it to anyone.
It's not a cheap alarm clock, it's about 60 pounds,
but it wakes you up with light.
It has light, it has alarms, it has radio,
and that combination just worked for me.
It was just, it just really, really worked.
I would recommend it to anyone.
And yeah so, I got that, and suddenly I was getting up at
nine AM, which was great, and then I was getting up at 8:30,
which was great, and then I was getting up at eight.
Now I know that I'll wake up between eight and nine,
I try not to put too much pressure on myself,
because it is one of the perks of my job
that I don't have to get up at seven.
I just have a much healthier relationship with sleep now.
And then secondly, I started taking weekends.
I now try and take, always take Sunday off,
and then sometimes take, well, most of the time
I take Saturday as well, and I took my first
bank holiday in May, and I think taking a day off a week
has been the best thing I do, because it,
first, I don't know, I just do stuff in that day,
even if I just spend the whole day in bed,
at least I'm doing something that's kind of
a recovery, it's like a recovery time for me.
Often I go out, I go to the pub with my friends,
I go and hang out, I try and keep it as low-key as possible,
if I want to go a gallery, I'll go to an art gallery
and see an exhibition - that was a really important thing
that I implemented that helped.
And then also, bringing on other people.
If I wanted to make a type of content,
I tried to find people that could help me make it.
My friend Becca helped me make
a bunch of my content, she's incredible.
I think also accepting that life is never gonna be
predictable is really important.
It doesn't matter what your role is, what your job is,
your life is never gonna go exactly how you want it to,
and when I kind of stopped putting all this pressure
on myself to make everything perfect,
and just took it step by step, day at a time,
was like, just see what gets thrown at you today,
my life improved drastically.
So what do I do about being organized?
I'm horrifically disorganized, ask anyone.
Specifically ask people I work with - it's terrible.
So I've accepted that I'm always gonna be disorganized,
but I try and put things in place that will help me.
So yeah, my memory is just terrible.
My memory is shocking, so I use my iCal for my
digital calendar, I share a calendar with my management.
That helps a lot - if it's not
in my calendar, it's not getting done.
I then bullet journal as well.
I bullet journal every week.
I sit down on a Monday morning, I'm like
what are you doing this week, what's the,
I do little aims and objectives, and then day by day
write out what I'm gonna achieve in that day.
Literally if I don't do that, I don't get stuff done.
I also have little daily routines that help me feel
a lot better, and they're not big at all.
Stuff like when I wake up every morning,
the first thing I do is I go and have my breakfast
and I make myself a coffee or a tea.
I often actually get dressed or ready kind of
in the middle of the day, or like kind of an hour or so
after I've woken up, or like two hours,
because I like to sit down with a coffee or tea,
in my pajamas, 'cause I like to be online when
the rest of the world's online, I like to make sure that
nothing is completely urgent and needs doing.
And that just gives me really good peace of mind.
I don't know why - a really good outcome of 2017
where I made no money and overworked myself
and all of the things, is that I realized I had to
diversify my income, so if you ever see me using
affiliate links, which I do use, and it is declared
in a lot of cases, that's one of my income streams,
thank you so much if you ever use them, thank you,
I really, really, really, really, really appreciate it.
I also have AdSense, and money I make
off the, just pre-rolls on videos.
I always have the Fingers Crossed Jumpers and the Moon Tea,
and then whatever other projects I'm doing at the time,
hopefully will make some money.
So I have pre-rolls on my podcast, and that will
hopefully generate just a little bit.
I feel like I've just talked about so much stuff.
It feels really good to get that off my chest, actually.
I adore what I do, I'm so grateful I get to do it.
It's been incredible, but it's also been a really big
learning journey, and that's important to remember
with anyone in any situation, and any job.
And I'm sure a whole bunch of you have had really
similar experiences of, what am I
doing with my life, can I get my life together.
But yeah, that impacted me really, really hard last year.
So if you ever wondered why I suddenly stopped making
two videos a week, and I reduced my workload,
and I stopped making, even sometimes a video a week
was too much, this is why.
There's that foundational level,
but I think I'm good with that now.
So yeah, thank you so much for watching.
Honestly, that was a bit like a therapy session,
I feel so much freer.
Let me know what other things you'd like to see
in Sleepover Club in the comments.
I read every single one, and if you didn't know,
I have a new podcast - it's called the Sunday Social,
I'll leave a link down there.
It's available on all good podcasting sites.
Anyway, thank you so much for watching.
I will see you in my next video.