Let's start things off in DC,
where the city's first bar that
doesn't serve alcohol is set to open
and in a really strange twist of dry,
irony, dry being the key part here.
Its name is the binge bar.
The binge bar? They were recently
featured in the Washingtonian.
All right, so binge bar, right?
That is like naming a relaxing day spa.
Blunt force trauma.
You know, this could be a hit,
as long as they make it just totally
and abundantly clear that there is no.
Alcohol inside angering drunks on
8th St that never a good idea.
You need to post a very,
very large sign outside that
says we're a bar with no alcohol.
You need to make it as easy as possible
for people because they roll into the
bar and there's no alcoholic beverages.
Going to be crazy.
Drinks will cost between 6 to $15 on
average according to the Washingtonian.
Any of you have a clue?
I have no idea what non
alcoholic drink they're charging.
$15 for it better be the world's
best Shirley Temple right?
It's gotta be good and if it's
made with love it needs to have
little bit of heart in it too.
Like actual heart.
I'm thinking now people who don't drink,
they're always looking for things to do.
They want to feel sophisticated as well.
We have featured stories about non alcoholic
drinks at bars here on open mic before.
So listen,
I hope binge bar is successful
and it leads to the emergence of
other alcohol free bars or at the
very least alcohol free options.
At the current bars that already exist,
we need to give designated drivers
some options while their friends slash
passengers are just getting totally hammered.
Chose this next story out of San
Francisco because it's a never
ending source of drama.
Here's a guy that needs a non alcoholic bar.
A Washington Post report claims that
Elon Musk plans to layoff nearly 75%
of Twitter's workforce if and when he
becomes the new owner of the company.
Wow man has found a hell of a way
to boost team morale. What's up?
Y'all I'm. New boss Elon?
Ohh yeah you're fired.
That's not going to work.
Thousands of LinkedIn profiles
just got updated.
You can just hear the keyboards
tapping across America.
You know, tech deals.
They really shouldn't have all this drama.
Elon Musk has all the subtlety of
the emergency broadcast system.
The details of this Twitter
deal are being screeched at us.
Elon Musk is what happens
when an Internet troll has,
you know, actual power.
He is living out the wildest dreams
of every angst ridden Reddit user.
I do feel bad though for anyone
who found out that their social
media career is in jeopardy.
Because they found it out on social media,
no one should have to see their
lack of job security trending well.
Elon, I do think it's too late to drive
down the price of Twitter to save money.
Nice try though.
Let's head to Alpena County,
Michigan for this next story where
a woman named Teddy Joe Marie Fleam
is facing first degree retail fraud
charges after being accused of stealing
stealing over $1000 worth of items by
not scanning them into self checkout.
Over the course of months,
you gotta blame security here, right?
Not teddy Joe.
She's been getting away with this
since at least April, so really,
they're not securing much, right?
If your job is to stop people from stealing,
if that's your one job and lady been
robbing your store for most of the year,
you have definitely failed.
Remember that whole you had
one job and you didn't do it?
That's what this is all about here.
Besides,
this woman's parents named her Teddy Joe.
Can you really blame her?
Can you blame her for lashing
out at the world?
It's like the female version of
Johnny Cash's boy named Sue.
My name is Sue.
How do you do now you're gonna die.
I say if she pulled this off for this long,
hire her in the security department,
make her the head of scam prevention.
I mean,
she was one step ahead of everyone
else for months until she wasn't.
Now, I'm definitely not here to
condone what Teddy Joe allegedly did,
but unless this Walmart started
hiring security guards, just,
you know, within the past week
somebody was slacking on the job.
All Teddy Joe and her sticky
fingers did was to expose Walmarts,
security weak spots.
And you know, they got cameras everywhere.
Nobody was doing anything.
All right,
we're taking a trip to Nikon
small world photomicrography
competition for this last story and.
Damn,
this is a close up picture
of an ant's face and right,
this is the stuff of nightmare fuel.
Basically looks like aliens versus predator.
If the alien and Predator decided not
to fight, fell in love and had a baby.
Just a really gross angry.
Man,
baby,
who needs W Carpenter when you
have Mother Nature?
Now just know that is what's
crawling on your countertop.
If you don't clean up crumbs in
a timely fashion,
when you're at the beach and you
feel something nibbling on your toes,
that dude right there is trying
to get all up in you.
Now I wonder if all ants look
like that one in the face or if
this photographer just took a
portrait of the ugliest one.
You know, the entire Ant community
could be out there organizing a PR
campaign right now. Hi, I'm Antonio.
I'm speaking on behalf of the Ant
community in association with
the Wan AF we are all not fugly.
Please don't judge us by our
worst representative Kyle.
This aunt close up is going to shoot to
the top of the Halloween costume list.
Too bad though.
No one is going to invite you to
any parties looking like that
and get off my lawn.
All right, our favorite story today?
It's got to be the binge bar in DC-1.
Story involved crime one with something
really creepy and unsettling.
And then there was crazy.
And so, you know, we're all about drinking.
Just alcohol, not alcohol.
Doesn't matter as long as something to drink.
Get it in my belly.