and
com actually find it very interesting study
uh that was done each year ago and music wrote about it
and add the study found that's outweighed spouses get sick
matter much more likely to leave the female well six times were like six times more likely
whereas add the females were likely that pat
feel that you need to stay there stick by her husband and take care of caregiving
more instinctive
it would appear right for women and part of what women want women signed on for marriage
that's one of the things they expect right
or like annette care than men
is that we
don't think about that in fact that doesn't factor in
and caregiving
does not come easily
right exactly
yes interesting 'cause i read the story i thought what
unit income awaiting a manager exim matt would be fairly accurate
uh but the same thing is
mentor also apparently a little dog
because is
the numbers down
they don't think about that billy baldwin
alone abandoning wiley
of but again tell you from my perspective
i don't know why but i was obsessed with that question
bike i thought
go into a marriage it's forever and i think that
of incredibly seriously so
uh i thought what if something happens to her and i think your personal life
am i willing to take that kind of risk
passed a long time thinking about that
uh am probably on the opposite opposite of the spectrum and i'm way over thought it
but i thought that's that's where you have a sign on for
okay thank you witnesses that discussion that steve and i had over prior to the show starting
today and it was this a long discussion about how
you know
i think the same way do you take if i want to get married i would consider that and that
would be my number one consideration and i'm willing to stick by this guy inside
even if he becomes extremely sick right and
if i'm not willing to marry him that i have to have to be willing to accept that
right if that does end up passover unfair conversations because they leave out the critical
element and that's the change in circumstances
you should be well
ryan and expect to and i would be and check would be all of us should be
then what happens
the whole dynamic changes
i mean if it happens
and you have to quit your job and you can support your kids or you guys fight all the
time in that means there's no attention given to the kid or she has to go into a home or
should be better served their or she becomes or ki
vicious an impossible to deal with given the circumstances
do you for fifty years still have to say that all that's the deal i made no questions asked
no matter what i don't think so
now i'd love that you brought that up because the conclusions the discussion that i had
with steve was
ic it's difficult you have to try as hard as you can take it work however after fifteen
years
your life be absolute hell
there comes a point where death is not okay so i i understand that
but if it's like
all my wife has cancer arches going through chemo optional oster hairs on the fact that
she doesn't have sex drive
outstanding and i can't take anymore some reliever i think that that's different
if you have been able to say yes
i think mental worksheet effect lakeview and i'll i'll be a man
an attorney plate
come on man uh which as you get cancer i'm bank and have secular often enough
amount of five thousand
come on and that's just too called well first of all couples that people couple of things
first of all the overwhelming majority of birds that come right back but not in the
knapp one thing with this taki
uh that doctors are the researchers action say fall of the couple
for five years was a short period of time it's not like the fall the couple for twenty
years and one spouse was insanely sick for twenty years ago in indiana masquerading as
a game or not leaving
it was a five-year period of time so the short period of time has also the social stuff before
leaving like
you know because men value saxena relationship more than women do in general i i certainly
don't think that's always the case but they valued more they also value i love in the
survey not being criticized like that's the thing we can document like men don't like
being told what to do right they don't like to think that they're going to be an actor
uh and uh so that's a c_n_n_ tripoli what happens here as you can have sex needed now
i don't i like your literate giving up your life in your joy to take care of this person
'cause is what you want to do
and she's lipika
about the manner in which it taken care of it in the meantime iraq it like
that that and i think that everyone will
reaction to that might be to see might be to move on
but there's a big step but you can have sex with someone
so i mean maybe animal is there a way to continue to take care that person
and artifacts somewhere else for that kind of thing we should never talk about
but because the important thing is that you see
right used a committing you're involved in it
you know if you got
if you have another relationship to provide you with the other things like still provide
very material emotional
and visible support for the person but by now and maybe that's not so bad now and you
know what i'm i'm totally opens at openness right so if that females undergoing cancer
and chemo and all that other terrible stuff and she does not sex drive and
it's been
maybe a couple years and if the guy is like a breath of the invite a couple of weeks
but ok if after the first thing at the seams i had taken aback by you know i think it's
okay for them to have a discussion at least it personally i would be open to having a
discussion not all women would be open to it but we we did discuss this element as well
and i think that is currently for that man
not to have a conversation with the woman
and while she's going to treatment to go cheap on her and you know have this others cdl left
my healing to take my standards have been
i wish they would have to choose another ministers on the live right in and try to have the best
so uh i think what if i was
sick right
and i was so sick that you know we can have sex and i could see you soon
would i then we'll allow my wife to go have outside sex right
and i think well to be fair you really should
another handouts kaufman
you know just in case the grain in the every was logical bear produce wouldn't
physical manner
but i was serious anyways
system
lagaya anyway back to changing her diaper
estate deadbeat job and uh i don't think i let her do it
baylor do it and also just to be clear
i was thinking about like that paraplegic case with but please without limit
it's a terrible situation that for her obviously but for the fiance to another
i would give him the path
you know
uh but lake
in just to make so there's no mistaking what i said were or what i believe it because there's
a wide swath of area here
i mean cancer
that's a period of treatment but you have to set up
yes and obtain characterize region words doesn't
you know that that's the that's inexcusable i mean deceiving the person who you're with
that if there is always cowardly but this particularly cowardly
we got somebody sort of with a life threatening illness where they need your support so
i wasn't suggesting that i record at that they're pretty aunts
right proof
alligator man this is horrible she looks like crap
wrapped
an end to that point was off everybody in the country reach brian edwards did not get
it back to self right uh but being began it provide thought one of the shoes on other
blood
uh divine intervention of state
that i'd i'd told wendy uh book told of right will be a year ago
you're going to learn to live on the radon okay
so
that's not the same jenkins nat because mentally ill at the same person you're not you know
it's a vegetative state go go go enjoy your life
i had a but just to be real quick i have said to my family that if i'm ever vegetated state
and i will say to you guys have to do that is important that i would like to be examined
via the internet by bill frist
that that but that as revered at that particular purpose there's traversing
but like i can certainly thoroughly tuesday compliance that
it there