>> Stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME BACK.
YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUEST AS THE FOUNDER OF TECH START-UP "PIED
PIPER" ON "SILICON VALLEY."
PLEASE WELCOME THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WOW!
WOW!
SOMEBODY CAN DO DIPS.
NICE.
>> DUDE, I LOVE DOING DIPS!
>> Stephen: YOU GOT MONSTER TRIES.
>> DUDE, MY TRIES ARE ON POINT.
THANK YOU FOR NOTICING.
I GOT THE SICKEST TRIES IN THE BIZ.
>> Stephen: LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE YOU HAD A CANE.
DID YOU NEED THAT CANE?
>> GOD NO.
THAT WAS A FASHION CANE.
>> Stephen: ARE CANES OUT OF FASHION NOW?
>> CANES ARE IN FASHION THANKS TO ME.
CANE SALES ARE UP 200%, BABY!
>> Stephen: SOMEBODY IS GETTING THEIR BEAK WET.
>> SO MANY BUSINESS, SO MANY JOBS.
>> Stephen: WOW, CONGRATULATIONS.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE CANADIAN, RIGHT?
>> YES.
BY-- BY-- ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: CANADIAN BY BIRTH.
>> BY BIRTH.
>> Stephen: BY GRACE OF GOD.
DO YOU GUYS HAVE A GOD UP THERE?
>> SOMETIMES.
>> Stephen: HE COMES AROUND THIS TIME OF YEAR, I'M GUESSING.
>> OUR GOD IS THE BEAR FROM "THE REFERINANT."
HE'S PRETTY BRUTAL.
>> Stephen: WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BECOME AN AMERICAN CITIZEN?
YOU HAVE BE HERE 10 YEARS.
>> SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE DEAL?
ARE WE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?
YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH TO WORK HERE, TOM.
>> I'M GOOD ENOUGH TO TAKE YOUR DAMN JOBS!
>> Stephen: THAT IS EXACTLY RIGHT.
THAT IS AN UNCANNY-- THAT IS AN UNCANNY LOS ANGELES ACCENTS YOU
JUST DID.
>> YOU'RE PUTTING THE WALL ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE COUNTRY,
BOYS.
>> Stephen: WHERE HAVE YOU LIVED IN THE UNITED STATES
GILIVED IN CHICAGO.
I LIVED IN NEW YORK CITY.
AND I LIVED IN LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA.
>> Stephen: WELL, WHAT-- WHAT-- WHERE DID YOU LIVE IN
CHICAGO?
BECAUSE I LIVED IN CHICAGO FOR 11 YEARS.
WHERE DID YOU LIVE?
>> I LIVED IN A NEIGHBORHOOD CALLED BOYS TOWN.
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH.
I KNOW THAT WELL.
I'M A BOY.
>> AND I'M A TOWN.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING THERE?
WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN CHICAGO?
>> I WAS DOING IMPROV.
SECOND CITY IMPROV OLYMPICS.
BOYS TOWN IS GREAT, BECAUSE MY GAY FRIENDS WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED
THAT ARE LIKE, "BOYS TOWN IS GAYER THAN SAN FRANCISCO."
IT'S SO GAY.
THERE ARE BARS THAT ARE MOIST AND TOUGH AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: AND, OF COURSE, THE MAN HOLE.
>> THE MAN HOLE.
BUT WHAT'S GREAT ABOUT-- I MEAN, THE WALK-- BECAUSE I WOULD WALK
TO IMPROV OLYMPIC, OR I.O., I GUESS NOW IT'S CALLED.
YOU GO THROUGH BOYS TOWN WHERE, HONESTLY, THERE WILL BE GUYS IN
ASSLESS LEATHER CHAPS.
THEY'LL BE LIKE, "HEY, JOIN US!" AND I'M LIKE, "I CAN'T I HAVE TO
DO A SHOW."
AND YOU CROSS THE STREET AND GUYS IN BACKWARDS CUBBIES HATS
PLAYING CORN HOLE.
AND THEY'RE LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!
HOW DO YOU GUYS GET ALONG TOGETHER?
YOU'RE SO CLOSE.
>> Stephen: IT'S A BIG TENT.
>> AND THERE ARE HARD NEIGHBORHOOD DIVISIONS IN
CHICAGO.
>> Stephen: YOU ARE, AS I SAID, YOU'RE ON "SILICON
VALLEY."
YOU PERSONALLY HAVE BEEN INVOLVED IN TECH.
IF I COULD THROW SOME TERMS AROUND.
>> DO ALL TERMS HAVE TO HAVE THESE?
>> Stephen: THEY ALL DO.
FOR ME, WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE (BLEEP) I'M TALKING ABOUT, I
HAVE TO SAY THIS.
YOU THREW LAN LAN PARTIES.
LAN IS LOCAL AREA NETWORK.
>> YES!
>> Stephen: I KNOW THAT FROM SETTING UP A ROUTER.
EXACTLY.
WHAT IS A LAN PARTY?
HOW IS THAT A PARTY?
>> IT'S MAINLY THROUGH VIDEO GAMES.
AND THE LAN PARTIES I KNOW, BACK IN THE 90s, WE WOULD HAVE TO
HAVE THEM-- THIS WAS BEFORE, LIKE, CABLE INTERNET, HIGH-SPEED
INTERNET, SO IN ORDER TO GET THAT SUPER LOW-ALATENCEY GAMING
YOU HAD TO BRING YOUR PENTIUM MACHINE OVER-- 500,000!
AND YOU WOULD BRING IT OVER.
THESE ARE BIG MACHINES, BIG CASES, ALL THE MONITORS AND
BRING THEM OVER TO YOUR FRIENDS' HOUSES AND PHYSICALLY CONNECT
THEM.
PROBABLY THOSE LAN PARTIES WERE PROBABLY WHERE A LOT OF
INFLUENCES FROM RICHARD CAME FROM.
MY LAN PARTIES, THERE WAS ALWAYS ONE GUY-- FOR LACK OF A BETTER
TERM-- WAS MAYBE ON THE SPECTRUM, SLIGHTLY WEIRD.
>> Stephen: TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM YOU.
>> TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM ME.
I'M 100% INSPECTOR, PRETTY MUCH YOUR AVERAGE JOE.
HE WAS ALWAYS AROUND TO MAKE SURE ALL THE NETWORK STUFF
WORKED.
AND I REMEMBER HE CAME TO ONE OF THE PARTIES-- WHICH ARE LOOSELY
TERMED.
( LAUGHTER ) WITH HIS COMPUTER, HIS TOWER,
AND THE CASE WAS OFF, BUT ON TOP OF IT WAS AN OPEN BUCKET OF
WATER, AND HOSES THAT RAN DOWN FROM THE TOP AND CLAMPED ON TO
HIS C.P.U.
AND WE'RE LIKE, "DAVE, WHAT'S THIS?"
"I'VE LIQUID COOLED MY C.P.U.
THE COLD AIR RUNS DOWN AND THE WARM RUNS UP."
AND WE'RE LIKE OF ALL PEOPLE HERE HE SHOULD NOT HAVE AN OPEN
BUCKET OF WATER OVER HIS COMPUTER.
NEEDLESS TO SAY, HE WAS EXCITABLE.
SURE ENOUGH DURING A ROUSING #-R GAME OF "DELTA FORCE."
WE HEARD HIM UPSTAIRS YELLING, BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN KILLED AND
FREAKED OUT AND SPILLED THIS WHOLE BUCKET OF WATER ALL OVER
HIS COMPUTER.
THIS IS HILARIOUS MATERIAL!
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: IT IS!
IT'S A GOOD STORY!
IT'S A REALLY GOOD STORY!
NOW, WE HAVE A CLIP HERE FROM THE NEW SEASON OF "SILICON
VALLEY."
CAN YOU SET UP WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?
YOU'RE MAD AT SOMEONE FOR SOME REASON.
>> YES, I BELIEVE THIS IS WHEN I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE PATENT I
NEEDED TO CREATE THIS NEW, BIG INTERNET IS OWNED BY MY GREATEST
RIVAL, SIR GAVIN BELSON.
>> RICHARD, ARE YOU OKAY?
>> YES, JUST PUTTING SOMETHING AWAY.
( LAUGHTER ) ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: SO YOU'RE A STUNT MAN, TOO.
PLEASE COME BACK.
WITH ANOTHER FASHION ACCESSORY NEXT TIME.
>> YEAH.
"SILICON VALLEY" AIRS SUNDAYS ON HBO.
THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH, EVERYBODY.