LET'S GET INTO IT.
THE F.B.I.'S INVESTIGATION INTO SUPREME COURT NOMINEE BRETT
KAVANAUGH CONTINUES, AND AN INTERESTING DETAIL SURFACED
YESTERDAY.
APPARENTLY, A POLICE REPORT WAS FILED IN 1985 BECAUSE
KAVANAUGH AND HIS FRIENDS GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH A MAN, BUT NOT
JUST ANY MAN, A MAN THEY THOUGHT WAS THE LEAD SINGER OF THE
BRITISH REGGAE BAND UB40.
(LAUGHTER) >> James: I DON'T KNOW WHAT
THE MOST PATHETIC PART OF THIS STORY IS.
IT'S ALL PATHETIC.
BY THE WAY, "UB40" IS ALSO WHAT THE POLICE SAID ABOUT HIS BLOOD
ALCOHOL LEVEL AFTER HE TOOK A BREATHALYZER.
"OH, YOU BE FORTY."
KAVANAUGH ALLEGEDLY THREW A BEER IN THE GUY'S FACE.
I DON'T BELIEVE THAT FOR ONE MINUTE.
I DON'T KNOW BRETT KAVANAUGH, BUT I KNOW HIM WELL ENOUGH TO
KNOW THAT KAVANAUGH WOULD NEVER WASTE AN ENTIRE BEER.
THIS IS WHERE THE COUNTRY IS RIGHT NOW.
A SUPREME COURT NOMINEE NAMED BRETT HAS A BEEF WITH UB40.
IN A FEW YEARS, THERE'LL BE A SENATOR NAMED BRANDON WHO GOT
IN A BRAWL WITH GREEN DAY, AND THEN FINALLY, THE PRESIDENT WILL
JUST BE WHICHEVER GUY FROM FALL OUT BOY ISN'T BUSY THAT
DAY.
IN OTHER NEWS, "THE NEW YORK TIMES" PUBLISHED A BIG
INVESTIGATIVE ARTICLE TODAY THAT DUG INTO THE TRUMP FAMILY'S
QUESTIONABLE FINANCES.
THE ARTICLE HAD ALL KINDS OF REVELATIONS.
FOR EXAMPLE, DONALD TRUMP HAS ALWAYS CLAIMED TO BE SELF-MADE
A SELF-MADE MAN.
BUT APPARENTLY, BY AGE THREE, HE WAS EARNING $200,000 A YEAR FROM
HIS FATHER AND BY AGE EIGHT HE WAS A MILLIONAIRE.
DONALD TRUMP WAS A MILLIONAIRE AS AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD.
NOW HE'S JUST A MILLIONAIRE WHO ACTS LIKE AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) >> James: EVEN MORE AMAZING,
HE LEARNED HOW TO FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY BY AGE NINE.
APPARENTLY, TRUMP WAS INVOLVED IN HIS DAD'S REAL ESTATE
BUSINESS FROM THE BEGINNING.
AS A PRESCHOOLER, HE WAS ALREADY FORECLOSING ON MALIBU BARBIE'S
DREAM HOME.
THE ARTICLE ALSO DETAILS SOME OF THE TRUMP FAMILY'S QUESTIONABLE
TAX SCHEMES.
FOR EXAMPLE, DONALD TRUMP AND HIS SIBLINGS ONCE AVOIDED PAYING
A HALF A BILLION DOLLARS IN TAXES.
YEAH!
SO IT'S NOT JUST HIS WIVES THAT HE CHEATS ON.
(LAUGHTER) >> James: PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES!
TRUMP ALWAYS CLAIMS HE WAS A SELF-MADE MAN.
AND I GUESS HE IS.
HE SEEMS TO HAVE MADE UP HIS VERY OWN TAX LAWS.
EVEN MORE TRUMP NEWS.
ACCORDING TO A REPORT THIS MORNING, DONALD TRUMP AT ONE
POINT PUT HIS SON ERIC IN CHARGE OF GETTING A RESTRAINING ORDER
AGAINST STORMY DANIELS TO PREVENT HER FROM DISCUSSING
THEIR SEXUAL ENCOUNTER.
SURPRISE!
ERIC FAILED.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, THE FAMILY THAT RESTRAINS TOGETHER,
GETS ARRAIGNED TOGETHER.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL!
(APPLAUSE) >> James: I KNOW I'M NOT
ALONE WHEN I SAY I'LL NEVER FORGET THE FIRST TIME
I FILED A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST THE PORN STAR MY DAD HAD
AN AFFAIR WITH.
VERY MUCH A RITE OF PASSAGE FOR ALL OF US.
BUT TALK ABOUT AWKWARD.
DOES HALLMARK EVEN MAKE THAT CARD?
"HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, SORRY I FAILED TO SILENCE YOUR PORN STAR
MISTRESS!" AND FINALLY, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
GUYS SAW THIS.
IN FRANCE YESTERDAY A RACE HORSE ESCAPED FROM A TRACK AND HE WAS
RECOVERED OVER ONE MILE AWAY BUT NOT BEFORE GOING TO A BAR.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
"HERE'S THE RACEHORSE NOW.
HE'S APPROACHING THE FINAL STRETCH, LOOKING GOOD IN THE
LANE, HE'S AHEAD BY A LENGTH.
THERE HE GOES MAKING THE FINAL TURN!
AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA WIN BY A NOSE!"
THERE WE GO!
CAN YOU IMAGINE?
PROBLEM WAS: THE BAR HAD TROUBLE GETTING
ANYONE TO HELP.
WHEN THEY CALLED, THE POLICE THOUGHT THEY WERE TELLING AN OLD
JOKE.
"HI, A RACEHORSE WALKED INTO A BAR."
"YES, AND?" I DON'T KNOW CAN WHY THE LONG
FACE OR SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW.
IT GOT EVEN WORSE FROM THERE.
HE ENDED UP IN A FIGHT AFTER BRETT KAVANAUGH MISTOOK HIM FOR
THE HORSE FROM "SEABISCUIT."