Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
'What if he's in a bad mood?'
'Then you got a problem, a big problem'
Escape from the Bronx, the sequel 1983's 1990: The Bronx Warriors,
takes us to a dystopian future in which the bronx is run by gangs.
'Bronx gangs, we're all here eating out of tin cans.'
and morris dancing has gone glam.
At the centre is big haired anti-hero, Trash
, turning heads wherever her goes.
So cool, even his Mom has a poster of him,
'I understand, i really do, I just don't think it is worth the pain.'
despite his habit of randomly attacking anyone who comes out of a door.
This time he's saving the Bronx from a big corporation, who are throwing residents out...
'You are ordered to leave the Bronx'
Literally.
Turfing out the gangs and tearing down buildings.
'In its place will be the new children's hospital'
Trash sets out to redress this injustice.
'The Bronx'll be back in the hands of the gangs'
I'm simplifying, but it still seems like the residents get screwed either way.
'I don't know who's worse, the politicians or the gangs'
This is 'Gentrification with extreme prejudice' and the corporation aren't taking no for an answer.
'Eliminate'
So Trash organises a militia.
Then tries to rescue some prisoners.
'I'm rigged with the bomb'
Fortunately, before Trash can get everyone who helps him and everyone he tries to help killed,
the one reporter who has noticed what's going on,
'That just isn't true.'
Steps in.
'You're not going to settle anything with shooting and killing'
Amen. So what's the plan?
'Kidnap their president'
Yeah shooting and killing are out, but kidnapping, that's the sane solution.
'You certainly must have heard I'm crazy right'
They enlist a retired criminal.
'I like scratching my balls'
and set out.
'We're going to kidnap the president'
'Of the United states?'
No, the GC Corporation'
That is a little confusing.
'Kidnap the president?'
True to form it's not a total success for Trash's allies.
'Killers murderers and criminals.'
#BANG#
But they do get the President,
and now, as the title suggests, they have to get back into the Bronx.
'Shut your damn trap.'
Whilst hunted by innumerable corporation forces, led by a brilliant strategist.
'If we intercept them, we've got them'
Who seems to be talking directly to us.
'Mr Clarke was already on that anyway.'
'But this gives us an alibi'
When Trash and Strike arrive back with the president, the gangs flock to their aid.
Why do people help this guy?
And it's all for nothing, cos the president is betrayed by his own people.
Now this is ridiculous plot,
'Er what evidence do you have for this?'
but it doesn't really matter because what the movie is really about is...
According to the internet,174 people get killed.
And frankly I'm surprised it's so few.
They're killed by gun…
by grenade…
and by flame thrower...
By baseball bat…
or rifle butt to the face …
They're blown up…
or electrocuted…
In pairs…
or in groups…
by land…
and by air…
They're so desperate to die they're jumping into Trash's sights…
Can we take a minute to remember a line earlier.
'You're not going to settle anything with shooting and killing'
By the end of the fi...
By the end...
By the...
When the dust finally settles even Trash and Strike seem to be speechless.
Well we're the only people left alive; call it a win?
This is how it ends! Look at the place - you think families are going to start moving back in?
The gangs you did this for all got killed helping you.
All you've done is give them a headstart on the demolition.
'Good or bad'
What do you think?
'I'll twist his balls off and shove them down his throat.'
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This film is all about the deaths so what are your favorite on-screen deaths and why let us know in the comments below.
'So?'
'OK!'
'Haha, Let's go!'