Yo what’s good? This week we maskin’ up with Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
Da year is 1985 and LL cool J ain’t da only thing bout to blow up: Da beef between
Russia and da US has gotten so tense dat nukes might start flyin any second. But dem Ruskies
gonna think twice befo’ they make a move, cuz da US got a viagra-lookin’ super thug
named Dr. Manhattan on their side who can control thangs on goddamn MOLECULAR level,
meanin he can be multiple places at once, teleport, turn Washingtons in to Benjamims-
this brutha can do almost anything! Manhattan is one of a whole crew of badasses
dat used to protect da city back when. Cept these days, people don’t want nobody callin
da shots but da po-lice, so all dem playas runnin’ round in their undies gotta put
their hustle to the side. But a stone cold G named Rorschach don’t give a DAMN bout
dat and still be rockin a mask to patrol da mean streets.
When Rorschach hear that somebody tossed da Comedian, one of da OG superheros,
out a damn window, he figger somebody might be tryna ice old costumes one by one. So he
hollas at all da other retired masks- the gadget slangin Night Owl, da super sexy Silk
Spectre who shacked up wit Doc Manhattan now, and Ozymandias- the smartest, and RICHEST,
homie in da world. Papa Smurf Manhattan decide to go on a lame-ass
talk show when some dude start runnin his mouth sayin’ dat chillin
wit his big blue ass causes cancer! Word? Da news gets the Doc all riled up and he decide
dat dealin wit these loud-ass piles o’ molecules jus’ ain’t worth a sh** and bounces out
to Mars. Now dat Mr. Clean outta da picture, da Russians
like “haaaell yeah” And start flexin’. Lata’ an assassin try to
kill Ozymandias, but he jus shakes dat hater off. Rorschach gets played, whooped by the
fuzz, and holed up in the big house. If it wasn’t clear already, Rorschach was right:
somebody IS tryna mess wit deez heros. So Silk Spectre and Night Owl take
a break from fu**ing, suit up, and bust Rorschach outta jail. Later, Doc Manhattan scoops up
Silk Spectre and takes her to Mars so they can chop it up. Silky axe the Doc to come
back to Earth and stop da world from ending, but the Doc don’t really give two sh**s
bout savin’ humanity cuz it ain’t make no difference to da universe. But after Silk
Spectre chews his ass out, the doc finally snaps out of it, and decide he gonna return
back to earth. Eventually Rorshach and da Owl
realize dat it might be Ozymandias who mastermindin’ all dis mess. As they swang over to his winter
pad and say “yo Ozy, dafuq man?” Ozy like yo- here’s the deal: Da whole world is rotten
to the core, and gonna tear itself to sh** unless somebody step up and do somethin’
bout it. I got a plan. I’m gonna kill a sh** ton of
people, blame it on a giant alien- squid dat I pulled outta my ass, and then errybody will
be on the same side. Naw mean?” They all like “Yeaaahhhh.... fu** dat. We gonna stop
you.” But Ozy like “too late it already happened 35 minutes ago.” Oh sh**.
And jus’ like brutha thought, errybody put they difference aside and unite.
Ozy like “I did it! Everlasting peace. How you like me now son?!” But Manhattan jus’
like “Baby nothin’ lasts forever.” Rorshach try to bounce and tattle
on Ozymandias, but Doc Manhattan tell him he best not cuz at this point, da truth can
only hurt. Rorschach ain’t backin down so the Doc just turns his ass in to mush.
One thing Ozymandias didn’t plan on though, was at Rorscach got his whole scheme
written down in a journal, which now chillin at the office of a journalist. Does the world
learn dat they were saved by a lie? Or does Ozzie’s new world order keep on truckin?
Good question, yo...
This sh** right here is so dank dat it made it into Time Magazine’s top 100 novels eva’
written. And it sho as hell deserve it- cuz Watchmen is
complex as hell.
First off, Dis graphic novel don’t read like most.
We always trippin’ back and forth through time, switchin’ perspectives, and
readin parts of made up books, letters, and notes at da end of erry chapter. To readers
used to cruisin’ through stories held together by cause and effect, Watchmen was a good ol
fashioned mind-fu**. Not only do dis messy story-tellin represent da clusterfu** of a
world dis book take place in, and our own, but it also mirror da way Doc Manhattan see
time:
Throughout dis book people geekin out tryna say Doc Manhattan’s existence
gone and changed da whole world fo’eva, cuz now Gods walkin’ amongst regular erryday
hoods. But da crazy thing is dat it ain’t somebody wit super powers dat come to define
da world. Naw baby, the fight for humanity’s soul is between two superhumans, wit’ emphasis
on da “human” part: Ozymandias and Rorschach. Ozymandias massacred half of New
York city fo the GREATER good, but Rorsach jus’ say you shouldn’t kill innocent people
STRAIGHT UP and even give his life tryin to spread the truth. Do the ends justify the
means? What’s mo important? The saving lie? Or the Truth?
To Rorschach, errything is black and white- jus’ like his mask. No grey.
Like he say: some bruthas is good, some bruthas is bad, and the bad ones gonna get what’s
comin to em. Also, His mask always changin
shapes like a true blue rorschach test and symbolize da way he see da world:
Ozymandias’s name come from Rameses II, da pharoah of Egypt who was runnin’
da game durin’ da 13th century BC. Percy Shelley wrote a dope poem bout dat hustla,
and Watchemen’s 11th chapter even ends wit a quote from it:
So yeah, on one level it’s just Ozymandias thinkin he high balla’- dude’s
whack-ass plan to save humanity from itself, and him actually pullin it off, make him look
like he deserve mo’ props than anybody else. But if you take a closer peep at Shelley’s
poem, you’ll see it ain’t jus bout talkin up da ultimate badass- it showin dat even
though it seems like Rameses II got da world sold up, ain’t nobody legit enough to dodge
the all destructive power of time.
It don’t matter how legit you get in life- you and what you leave behind ain’t
gonna be around forever. Doc Manhattan even drop dat same truth:
So is it worth holdin back da horrible truth fo’ even a little bit of
peace? Or is da truth mo’ important? A question like dat is maybe jus’ too crazy to answer.
Maybe when we faced with horrors like dat, we only got one option: try to put a
smile on dat face, and laugh about it.
Yo if you liked philosophizin’ bout truth and da greater good, take a couple mo’
minutes and check out my eps on The Brothers Karamazov and The Grand Inquisitor. I promise,
it’s all some real tight sh**. Thanks fo’ checkin me out. I’ll see y’all next time.
Peace.