WE'RE BACK.
LOOK AT THAT, JUST LIKE THAT WE'RE BACK.
WE HAD A WEEK OFF, WE HAD A WEEK OFF AND WE'RE BACK.
HOW WAS EVERYONE'S BREAK.
HOW WAS YOUR BREAK?
>> IT WAS AMAZING AND TROUBLESOME.
>> James: WHY, WHY THE LATTER?
>> BECAUSE I WENT TO NEW ORLEANS.
>> James: WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.
>> AND THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU WITH BUTTER.
>> James: I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.
>> I WAS-- I HAVE LIKE THREE OF THE BEST THINGS I HAVE EVER
EATEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND I THINK I GAINED 15 POUNDS.
I'M GROWING A BEARD NOW SO PEOPLE WILL NOTICE SOMETHING
ELSE ABOUT PIE FACE.
>> James: IT IS A CHALLENGE.
THE-- BREAKS ARE ALWAYS THE CHALLENGE, THAT IS WHAT THIS
SUIT IS TELLING ME.
I CAN FEEL THIS SUIT AS I PUT IT ON GOING YEAH, LOOKS LIKE YOU
MIGHT HAVE HAD A LITTLE WEEK OFF.
I WENT TO THE ROLLING STONES LAST NIGHT.
>> OH MAN.
>> James: YEAH.
>> I WAS IMPRESSED.
I THINK THEY HAVE A BIG FUTURE.
I DO.
I WAS LIKE YOU MARK MY WORDS, YOU THESE GUYS ARE GOING PLACES.
>> YEAH.
>> I DON'T KNOW IF THEY PLAYED AT ONE OF THEIR B SIDES BUT THEY
HAVE THIS THING ABOUT SATIS FRACTION-- SATIS FAKSZ.
>> James: BUT IT WAS AN AMAZING GIG, SENSATIONAL.
>> I LOVE THEM.
>> James: HE'S 77 OR 78 MIC JAGGER AND I WAS LOOKING AT HIM
LIKE, I DON'T THINK I COULD RUN AROUND LIKE THAT.
>> CERTAINLY NOT POST VACATION COULD WE RUN AROUND LIKE THAT.
>> James: NO, I COULD DO THE CLAP.
I COULD DO THAT, ARE YOU HAVING A GREAT TIME.
I COULD DO THAT.
I'M FINE WITH THAT BIT.
EVERYBODY'S HAVING A GREAT TIME.
THAT'S IT.
>> MY FAVORITE MIC JAGGER IS THE NO, NO, NO, YEAH.
BUT-- .
>> James: OH, THE WHOLE THICK, HE CHANGED HIS JACKET, TAKE OFF
A SILK SHIRT, ANOTHER SILK SHIRT, IT WAS SENSATIONAL.
I HAD A GREAT WEEKEND.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT WHEN I WAS WATCHING THE STONES LAST
NIGHT, I THOUGHT HAVE I HAD A GOOD BREAK, HI A GOOD WEEKEND, A
GREAT BREAK.
NOBODY, NOBODY HAD A BETTER BREAK THAN THAT GUY SAT RIGHT
OVER THERE WEARING A PAIR OF WHITE PANTIES ON HIS FACE.
(APPLAUSE) REVIEWERS WILL KNOW THAT
THAT-- THAT MAN WEARING HIS WIFE'S UNDERWEAR ON HIS FACE IS
NICK BERNSTEIN.
NICK IS THE SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT-- HE IS THE SENIOR
VICE PRESIDENT OF LATE NIGHT PROGRAMMING WEST COAST, THERE IS
NO PRESIDENT OR JUNIOR.
BUT HE THAT MASK ISN'T HIS WIFE'S PANTIES, THAT IS, WHAT IS
IT, NICK, WHY DO YOU WEAR IT?
>> IT IS SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT LIKE WHAT A JOCKEY SILK LOOKS
LIKE.
>> James: YES, IT IS SUPPOSED TO, IT DOESN'T, RIGHT.
SO-- WE TALKED ABOUT THIS ON THE SHOW.
WE THOUGHT WELL HE'S THAT THAT MUCH INTO HORSE RACING WE'LL
DRESS HIM UP AS A JKY FOR ONE SHOW.
SO WE DO THIS.
AND SAT ON A-- HE SAT ON A PLASTIC HORSE.
AND THEN I MEAN IT HAS JUST GONE WILD FOR YOU, NICK.
TALK US THROUGH WHAT HAPPENED, THE COOL THAT CAME AFTER THAT.
>> SO AFTER THAT EXPERIENCE OF SITTING ON A GIANT PLASTIC HORSE
FOR AN ENTIRE EPISODE I-- THERE WERE TWEETS BACK AND FORTH AND
ONE OF THE TRACKS IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, SANT ANITA RESPONDED
TO ME AND SAID HEY, PAUL RIDER'S OFFICE IS KIND OF LIKE, THE
THING THAT HAPPENED S BEFORE THE KENTUCKY DERBY IS RACES.
>> James: THEY REACHED O OUT TO NICK AND SAID COME DOWN AND
BE THE GUEST OF HONOR AT THE TRACK.
AND WE SENT A CAMERA ALONG, SOME OF THE CREW, HAVE A LOOK AT THIS
FOOTAGE OF NICK BERNSTEIN, HERE HE IS HERE MEETING A HORSE.
THE BUGLER PLAYED EXCLUSIVELY FOR HIM.
HE HUNG OUT IN A PRIVATE SUITE.
WATCHED ALL THE RACES.
EVEN WAS GIVEN A HARNESS FROM ONE OF THE TRAINERS.
LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK, NOW I COULDN'T GO BECAUSE WE WERE STILL A WHAT.
WHO CAME, WHO FROM THE SHOW WENT DOWN?
>> THERE WERE A LOT OF US.
>> James: YEAH.
HOW WAS IT, CICI TALK TO ME ABOUT THE VIBE.
HOW BIG OF A DEAL WAS NICK BERNSTEIN, HOW BIG OF A DEAL WAS
BERNSTEIN DOWN THERE?
>> HANG ON, HANG ON.
I MEAN NICK'S ONLY GOT ONE JOB, YOU KNOW WHEN PEOPLE SAY YOU
HAVE GOT ONE JOB BUT THEY HAVE-- TO DO THAT DAY, THAT IS
NOT THE CASE WITH STEVE, THIS IS-- LITERALLY THE JOB.
I MEAN I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS WILL BE LIKE IN THE EDIT BUT WE
ARE A GOOD 12 MINUTES IN TO CHATTING NOW AND STEVE HAS BEEN
WAITING WITH A MICROPHONE, I'M HERE IN CASE HE CALLS TO
SOMEONE, AND I CALLED TO SOMEONE, YOU WERE LIKE OH, I
SHOULD PROBABLY TURN THIS ON, IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED, STEVE?
, I CAN'T HEAR YOU, YOU HAVEN'T GOT A MICROPHONE NEAR YOU.
CICI, TALK TO ME ABOUT THE VIBE, HOW WAS IT?
>> IT WAS SO DELIGHTFUL.
EVERYONE WAS SO EXCITED FOR NICK, HE WAS LIKE A KID IN A
CANDY STORE OR LIKE A HORSY STORE.
IT WAS SO INFECTIOUS, WE WERE SO HAPPY FOR HIM.
AND AT ONE POINT WE GOT YELLED AT FOR CLAPPING, BECAUSE IT
SCARES THE HORSES.
>> James: THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE.
>> YEAH, IT WAS DELIGHTFUL.
>> James: AND YOU GOT THERE, WERE YOU DOING INTERVIEWS.
>> YEAH.
>> James: LOOK AT THIS.
>> NICK BERNSTEIN SENIOR VP OF LATE NIGHT PROGRAMMING "LATE,
LATE SHOW" JAMES CORDEN, WE ALL KNOW THOSE NAMES, BIG FAN OF
HORSE RACING AS WELL, WHEN DID FOR YOU THE LOVE OF HORSE RACING
BEGIN?
>> I HAVE LOVED IT SINCE I WAS A KID.
I HONESTLY LOVED GETTING TO SEAT HORSES IN PERSON, I THINK IT IS
INCREDIBLE.
I THINK THEY ARE ALL MAJESTIC ANIMALS.
(APPLAUSE).
>> James: IT'S LIKE A SORT OF MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION VIDEO.
>> NICK HAS THIS INCURABLE DISEASE AND ALL HE HAS WANTED TO
DO IS GO TO THE TRACK AND RIDE A HORSE.
>> THAT HORSE ERODE ISN'T EVEN LIKE AN ACTIVE HORSE RACE EITHER
T IS JUST ONE OF HIS FAVORITE HORSES THAT HAPPENED TO BE THERE
THAT DAY.
>> James: IS THAT TRUE?
THAT IS A FAVORITE HORSE OF YOURS.
>> YEAH, THAT IS REAL.
HIS NAME IS LAVAMAN.
>> James: AND WHY IS LAVA MAN-- WHY IS LAVA MAN A FAVORITE
HORSE OF YOURS, NICK?
>> HE IS A CHAMPION.
>> IT'S LIKE IF YOU WENT DOWN TO THE STAPLES CENTER AN SAID THIS
IS LEBRON JAMES AND LEBRON IS LIKE ALL RIGHT, HOP UP ON THE
BACKK I WILL SHOW YOU AROUND.
>> CAN I SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
THE TRAINER OF LAVAMAN SAID BASICALLY THE ONLY OTHER PEOPLE
TO GET ON HORSES ARE ACTUALLY MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION KIDS.
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: AND LIKE THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, TO GET A RIDE ON A
CHAMPION HORSE, THEY EVEN NAMED A RACE AFTER NICK.
LOOK AT THIS.
>> THE FIFTH RACE NAMED FOR THE SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT OF LATE
NIGHT PROGRAMMING WEST COAST, THERE IS NO JUNIOR VICE
PRESIDENT.
>> COME ON!
YES, YES!
>> THIS IS MY RACINGS CONGRATULATIONS ON WINNING OUR
RACE.
THAT WAS AMAZING.
YOU GUYS GET IT?
(APPLAUSE).
>> James: THAT JOCKEY LOOKED REALLY THRILLED TO BE MEETING
YOU.
>> I THINK YEAH, THEY JUST HAD TO TAKE PHOTOS WITH A BUNCH OF
PEOPLE THEY DON'T KNOW AFTER RACES BECAUSE ST FRIENDSK FAMILY
AND OWNERS AND THEN I TOLD THEM HE WORKED AT THE "LATE, LATE
SHOW" AND THEN HIS EYES LIT UP, WE MISSED THAT PART, YOU DIDN'T
SHOW THAT PART.
>> James: WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, NICK, I KNOW
THAT EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN LEADING TO THAT VERY
MOMENT, SO CONGRATULATIONS.
WELL DONE, NICK BERNSTEIN.
COME ON.
WHAT HAVE WE CREATED?
WHAT HAVE WE CREATED.
LOOK, WE CAN'T JUST HORSE AROUND.
FOREVER.
I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOU CLAPPING THAT APPALLING LEVEL OF JOKE,
OKAY.
BECAUSE IT'S TIME FOR THE NEWS.
TODAY PRESIDENT BIDEN AND FIRST LADY JILL BIDEN HOSTED TEACHERS
AT THE WHITE HOUSE FOR THE TEACHERS OF THE YEAR AWARD.
HERE IS JOE BIDEN PAYING TRIBUTE TO THE TEACHERS.
>> THE KITE STRING THAT LIFTS OUR NATIONAL AMBITION A LOT OF,
NOT A JOKE, THAT SAY REALITY.
>> James: IS IT?
IS IT A REALITY?
BECAUSE THAT'S LITERALLY NOT HOW KITES WORK.
THE STRINGS DON'T THOLD UP THE KITE T IS THE WIND, ST NOT ME,
IS T THAT IS NOT HOW THEY WORK.
IF ONLY THERE WAS A TEACHER AROUND TO CORRECT HIM ON THAT.
PRESIDENT BIDEN PLAY I PLAYED PRETTY FAST AND LOSE, HE WOULD
BE THE ULTIMATE SUBSTITUTE TEACHER, WOULDN'T HE, HE WOULD
COME IN, ENOUGH OF THIS MATH STUFF, YOU WON'T NEED THIS IN
THE REAL WORLD.
LET'S GET A COUPLE OF ICE CREAMS.
HERE SAY BIG STORY ESPECIALLY IN YOU GOT THE JOHNSON & JOHNSON
ONE AND DONE VACCINE, DR. ANTHONY FAUCI IS SAYING THE
FDA DATA SHOWS THE JOHNSON & JOHNSON VACCINE SHOULD HAVE BEEN
TWO SHOTS.
I MEAN IT WAS RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME.
IN RELATED NEWS THE FDA ASKED JOHNSON & JOHNSON TO RENAME ITS
NO MORE TEARS SHAMPOO TO LEGALLY SPEAKING, PROBABLY A FEW TEARS.
AND AN YUCH DATE ON QUEEN ELIZABETH, DOCTORS HAVE ADVISED
THE QUEEN TO STOP DRINKING ALCOHOL.
YEAH.
THOSE DOCTORS WILL BE EXECUTED TOMORROW.
APPARENTLY, THE QUEEN IS KNOWN TO ENJOY A MARTINI IN PRIVATE SO
I IMAGINE THIS IS NEWS IS LESS SHAKE EB AND STIRRED.
THEY WANT THE QUEEN AS HEALTHY AS POSSIBLE FOR SEVERAL UPCOMING
ROYAL EVENTS TO WHICH THE QUEEN APPLIED I ONE CAN DRINK AS MUCH
AS ONE [BLEEP].
I OWN THE PLACE, I MEAN THE PALACE.
GIVE ME A MALIBU AND [BLEEP].
IMAGINE THE QUEEN WITH A MALIBU.
I ACTUALLY MET THE QUEEN, IMAGINE IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH
TO MEET THE QUEEN-- THEY SAY WHAT ARE YOU HAVING, MUM WITHIN
I WILL HAVE A MALIBU AND COKE.
>> I WAS HAVING A DISCUSSION OVER THE WEEKEND AND MEANT TO
ASK YOU ABOUT THIS WHEN I SAW YOU ON SATURDAY BUT I FORGOT,
LOUIE I WOULD LIKE YOU TO WEIGH IN TOO, HAS THE QUEEN EVER HAD
MCDONALD'S?
>> James: SHE HAS HAD A FRY, SHE HAS HAD ONE FRY.
>> ONE FRY.
>> SHE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE JUST GONE-- YOU KNOW, SHE HASN'T HAD
A BURGER.
>> James: IT IS WEIRD TO IMAGINE THE QUEEN EATING A BIG
MAC.
IT IS A WEIRD-- SHE MIGHT HAVE HAD A COUPLE OF NUGGETS.
>> A COUPLE OF NUGGETS.
>> James: SHOULD WE ASK HARRY.
>> YEAH, YEAH, PLEASE.
>> James: I'LL TEXT HARRY.
OKAY.
>> I THINK PRINCE HARRY HAS HAD MCDONALD'S.
>> James: FOR SURE, I WILL PUT IN, THIS IS A BAD IDEA OR GOOD
IDEA.
>> I THINK IT'S TERVEG.
>> James: RIGHT, HEY MAN, JUST WONDERING, I'M AT THE SHOW, I
WILL LET HIM KNOW, I'M ON THE SHOW.
AN WE'RE WONDERING, HE WON'T ANSWER.
I DON'T THINK HE WILL GIVE AWAY THIS LEVEL OF.
>> THIS IS THE NEXT OPRAH SPECIAL, PROBABLY.
>> James: WONDERING IF THE QUEEN HAS EVER HAD A MCDONALD'S'
>> IF SO WHAT.
>> IF SO, WHAT SORT OF MEAL DEAL ARE WE TALKING.
>> YEAH.
>> HEY MAN, I'M ON THE SHOW AND WE'RE WONDER IFING THE QUEEN HAS
EVER HAD A MCDONALD'S, YOU CAN CLARIFY, IF SO, WHAT SORT OF
PEEL DEAL ARE WE TALKING.
>> THAT IS FAIR ENOUGH.
>> PERFECT.
>> DELIVERED.
>> ANY BUBBLES?
>> BUBBLEFREE ZONE.
>> PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE HANDWRITTEN THAT.
>> NO.
MOVING ON, DID EVERYBODY SEE THIS?
KAYNE WEST HAS RECENTLY SPOTTED AT THE AIRPORT IN VENICE IN
ITALY WEARING A PRETTY UNUSUAL DISGUISE.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, LOOK AT THAT.
YEAH.
THAT IS IT.
DEFINITELY GOING TO MAKE HIM LOOK LESS NOTICEABLE.
IF ONLY WE WERE LIVING DURING A TIME WHERE IT IS TOTALLY
ACCEPTABLE TO WEAR SOME KIND OF COVERING THAT HIDES HALF YOUR
FACE.
LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK.
HE LOOKS LIKE AN ALBINO SHREK.
LOOKS LIKE THE JASON STATHAM IN THE STATUE OF LIBERTY.
WHAT MAKES YOU WANT TO DO THAT?
AT WHAT POINT ARE YOU LIKE, GRAB THE MASK, WILL YOU.
I'M GOING TO GO, THERE ARE SOME PHOTOGRAPHERS, GET THE MASK.
LOOK, AGAIN, LACK AT THAT HE LOOKS LIKE THE PAPARAZZI CAUGHT
THE OSCAR STATUE WALKING OUT OF A BROTHEL.
LOOK A BAR OF SOAP BECAME A USC FIGHTER.
KAYNE WANTED TO BE LEFT ALONE BUT THE PLAN BACK FIRED PEOPLE
KEPT ASKIN FOR HIS AUTOGRAPH THINKING HE WAS VIN DIESEL WITH
FOOD POISONING.
>> WHAT?
NO, NO REPLY.
AND THAT'S THE NEWS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH KATE BECKINSALE AND DAVE GROHL,
EVERYBODY.