- So I haven't scripted today's video, but it's something
that I've wanted to talk about for a while
because it's something that I find really interesting,
and that is keeping a diary.
I am a famous starter of diaries,
but never a finisher of diaries,
and I think that's just something that happens
just in my life general, I start a lot of things,
and I never follow through.
ENFP.
I used to keep loads of diaries
when I was in my early teens,
I would literally write about seven pages a night.
I just had so many feelings.
What did I even write about, probably boys.
Let's be honest, Hannah.
When I was about 16 I found these diaries
and they were just so cringey,
and I couldn't handle them,
and 16 year old Hannah,
who thought that she was cooler than 13 year old Hannah,
just couldn't handle it,
and threw away all of the diaries.
Uh, I'm so mad at 16 year old Hannah.
So if you were expecting a video of me
reading old embarrassing diary entries,
then I'm sorry.
But now, as a 23 year old,
I have two diaries.
The first diary that I own is this five year diary
that my mum got me for Hanukkah one year,
basically each page is a day and there are five sections,
so for five years you write what you did on that day.
As you can see, I am on my third year.
It's basically like old fashioned Timehop.
There's not really emotions or feelings in this,
it's just more of a this is what I did.
Let me read you a random one.
April 12th, 2013,
dropped Leah off at airport, that's my sister.
Ragdale Hall with Mum and Noodie,
Noodie is my grandmother.
Swim, sauna, steam rooms, jacuzzi,
full body massage, dinner, aw yeah.
2014, chill day, ran errands in Chilton,
played Sims 3, ah!
Cleared out junk from bedroom, had dinner,
and watched the end of Toy Story 3 with Leah.
2015, explored Rotterdam with Leah.
Oh my God, April 12th is just like a day of my sister.
Bagel and beans, shopping,
oh, there was a marathon going on,
water taxi to Hotel New York, watched the derby,
ate in a pub with her friends and drinks,
and watched Girls in the evening.
I love this, how cool is that,
that on one day three years in a row,
there's something going on with my sister.
I like that, 'cause I barely see her.
Okay, but let's all be real,
this is the diary that you're all so interested in.
This is the thoughts and feelings one.
I can't exactly read you some of this,
but I will tell you I was inspired
by A Song of Ice and Fire.
This is not spoiler-y, by the way.
The character Arya Stark has to tell this person
three things that she's learnt since she last saw him,
and I really liked that,
and it didn't have to be profound things that she'd learnt,
it just could be things that she'd noticed or picked up on.
I started doing that every time I write in my diary,
and they're really stupid.
William Blake's tombstone is in the cemetery by my work.
Taylor Swift is amazing live.
There are ponds in Hampstead Heath
that you can go swimming in.
But then there's some other ones like
artificial intelligence is scary
and could be the death of us all.
What I thought I would do for your entertainment,
is just pick random lines and read them out to you
completely out of context.
Apparently this is the start of the rest of my life,
I'm avoiding life by going on holiday.
I'm not really a fan of their relationship,
I only see the bad things.
Tipsy tube thoughts, sometimes I wish I had a boyfriend
just so I could have genuine friendships with straight men,
and there's no confusion about attraction.
I've a lot of great friendships with men,
but sometimes I feel there's a strange undertone.
Is that drunk Hannah being arrogant, who knows.
No means no, get your hands off me.
And drunkenness is no excuse, bollocks.
I think I fancy Blank.
A recent trip to London, we got lunch,
and I think it was the first time
we've ever hung out one on one,
and it was really cool.
Then every time since then we've hung out with other people,
I've been overanalyzing everything
and feel nervous and stupid around him.
I've forgotten what a crush feels like,
it's exhilarating but annoying.
I'm not going to see him for a while,
so I'm betting/hoping that my fickle brain will move on.
Spoiler alert, it did, I'm fine.
I broke things off with Blank today,
things were getting too intense and my fickleness kicked in.
So here's a paragraph talking about
a new guy that I was dating,
and all the things that I like about him,
and then at the end I go, also he's a Hufflepuff.
Sometimes you lie to your diary,
but you're just still lying to yourself,
or maybe you've just not come to realize
something yet, so here's one.
I don't feel impatient to be his girlfriend,
and we both said that nothing would change.
And then, okay, I think I do care about
being his girlfriend. (laughs)
Okay, I've got myself into crisis mode.
As much as I hate,
and then I got interrupted and I've written,
phone call with Jess interrupted thought.
And then lessons from Jess
that I found out from her on the phone.
I deserve someone who wants to be with me,
I deserve someone who thinks
I'm the best thing in the world,
I deserve someone who doesn't make me feel insecure.
All true, and then I've given myself some rules.
One, do not make out with Blank.
Number two, be honest with Blank,
even if that means he admits he's not good enough for me
so we end it. (laughs)
I love this.
I seem to have friend zoned myself. (burps)
This diary is fast becoming
my masturbation/sex dream journal.
Oopsie.
Oh no, this hurts, 'cause this is all really recent,
and I kind of, yeah, hmm.
The other stuff was like far gone enough
that I could distance myself from it whilst reading it,
but those recent entries, no, not ready.
So that's a weird little insight into my life.
Please give the video a thumbs up if you liked it,
and I would love if in the comments,
you took a phrase out of one of your diaries
completely out of context and just posted it.
I think that would be hilarious
to read that comment section if you all did that.
Before I go I have a really cool announcement
which is that I am the host of #Blessed,
which is a new series on the Astronauts Wanted channel,
so I will link below to that,
and you should go subscribe to them
so you don't miss any episodes.
On the show, me and a bunch of other YouTuber special guests
share our #Blessed moments,
which is basically embarrassing moments,
or times when stuff has just gone wrong,
and it's all very funny and humiliating.
The first episode went up yesterday,
and the theme was fashion fails,
so make sure that you go and check that out,
and then every Monday on the Astronauts Wanted channel.
(squeals) I am really excited about being the host of this,
so I'd absolutely love it if you could go
and support the show by subscribing.
Okay, I'll see you soon, bye!
(musical chimes)