Speaker 1: In this video, we're going to talk about how
to tell if your ex is using no contact on you. But first, my name is Clay with ModernLove.Life.
We help you get the great loving relationship that you're looking for without having to
play mind games, without having to play hard to get and without having to pretend to be
someone or something that you are not because you deserve to be loved for the unique, amazing
and wonderful person that you are. If you agree with me, do me a favor by hitting that
thumbs up button for this video and by subscribing to this channel if you're new here. Also,
we do have our Connect and Commit course. It's been out for about a month or so. It
helps you to bridge these small little moments with your ex that could potentially go really,
really wrong and turn them into opportunities for greater connection. You can find out more
about that in the link down in the description box below.
Speaker 1: Also, wanted to say thanks for all the birthday
wishes and everything yesterday. We did that big long live stream for almost two hours
and we went over 38 tips and strategies for getting back together with your ex. I hope
it was helpful for you. It seems like a lot of people enjoyed it, so I'm hoping that it
was helpful for you if you happen to watch it. If not, I'll just put a link up there
and you can go ahead and check it out if you missed it for some reason or other. So that
being said, let's go ahead and get into today's video and hopefully, this is going to be one
of the last videos that I do with all this hair stuff going on here.
Speaker 1: I did order some clippers on the internet.
The first time I ordered them, they were supposed to arrive much sooner, but then the factory
that makes them got shut down because of the situation. They were out of stock and so I
was like, "Okay, apparently I need to order some new clippers." So I frantically got online
and tried to find some kind of Clippers that I could get. Apparently, they ship yesterday
so I should be getting them in the next couple of days and I can get this kind of cleaned
up. Either that or it will look even worse, but hey, these are the times we live in. Okay,
let's get into this though.
Speaker 1: What are some ways that you can tell if your
ex is doing no contact on you? The first one is if they are not contacting you obviously,
but if they stop contacting you suddenly. Typically, when somebody is going into no
contact, they will abruptly stop contacting you. I know that there are many different
philosophies on no contact. I know that we definitely have our philosophy, our no contact
about active no contact, about giving your ex some sort of context to understand your
actions in so that they don't kind of assume the worst or anything like that and that they
can understand what's going on. That however is not every form of no contact out there.
Oftentimes, people will say that no contact has to be unexpected in order for it to work.
Right? So if your ex is unexpectedly and suddenly dropping contact with you, then that can definitely
be a sign that they are doing no contact on you.
Speaker 1: The second way that you can tell is if your
last interaction with them before they apparently went no contact, was a negative interaction.
Now obviously, people aren't going to go no contact if they have positive interaction
with you, at least most of the time. They're going to stay in contact with you if they
enjoy interacting with you and if they enjoy spending time with you. They're really only
going to go no contact if it's a response to something negative that happened. Maybe
you had an argument or maybe you had just ended up rehashing the same old stuff that
you always end up arguing over or things like that.
Speaker 1: So if the last interaction that the two of
you had was negative, then that could definitely be a sign that they have gone no contact,
especially if it's starting to look that way. You're probably watching this video because
it's been a couple of days or a week or something like that since you've heard from your ex
and you're wondering if they're doing no contact. If it's been a few days and you're starting
to wonder and you're looking back at your last interaction and it was not the best,
then they could be doing no contact. You never know.
Speaker 1: The third way that you can tell your ex is
going no contact on you is if they have also gone dark on social media. They've stopped
posting things. They are just trying to create that sort of err of mystery about them. Again,
there are many different schools of no contact. Many of them try to just pull you out of contact
with your ex so that they develop a sense of mystery around you. Okay? If your ex is
just not posting on social media or perhaps, they're keeping you from seeing their posts
that they make, I know that certain platforms will allow you to do certain things like that,
then that could be a sign that they're using no contact on you and that they're trying
to not send any information about what they are doing in their life indirectly to you
so that you don't know what they're doing.
Speaker 1: You don't know if they're having a great time,
if they're having a difficult time, if they're having some sort of in between emotional experience
time or something like that. That is definitely a way that you can kind of infer that they
might be doing no contact. Number four, before we get into that, if you want to learn more
about our complete no contact playlist where we go over sort of some of the differences
that we have with many other coaches out there on no contact, you may want to check that
out up there in the video card up there. It's a full playlist that covers no contact, maybe
worth checking out. Number four: even when you try to contact them, they do not reply.
Speaker 1: So if you think that they might be going no
contact, you want to talk to them and so you contact them in a casual sort of way and they
don't reply. It's one thing if you're in damage control mode or something and you're contacting
them in some sort of needy validation seeking way or something like that. That's definitely
one thing that could cause someone to not want to respond to you. But if you're contacting
them in a totally appropriate way, given where your emotional connection is at and they're
still not contacting you and you've given them a little bit of slack, like, okay, maybe
they didn't get the notification or maybe they're in the middle of something right now
and you've given them a little bit of slack for that, whatever that means, if they usually
reply within two hours or something, it's been over two hours, you could probably say,
okay, then they're most likely have received a message and are choosing not to respond
to it. That could be a sign that they are in no contact.
Speaker 1: Of course, many people out there also teach
a form of no contact that is just don't contact your ex. Sure, there's a time and place for
just not contacting your ex. But if your ex is not doing no contact, if they're just not
contacting you for other reasons, they'll likely give you some sort of context for why
they didn't contact you back, "I was busy." "I just don't feel that we can be in contact
right now." They'll tell you something, but if they're doing no contact, they just won't
respond. Right? So that's another thing that you can piece together there in their behavior
to kind of read between the lines here.
Speaker 1: The fifth way is if they have disappeared
in the past for about 30 days. I know most forms of no contact out there, again, there's
many different philosophies on this, but most forms of no contact will tell you to not contact
your ex for 30 days. So that is most likely the kind of advice that your ex is receiving
if they are learning about the no contact rule in some form from some medium somewhere.
If in the past they have fallen out of contact with you for 30 days or so and then they've
gotten back in contact with you, then it's likely that they know about no contact and
that if they're falling out of contact with you again then they could be doing no contact
again.
Speaker 1: Again, there is a lot of not so great information
out there; beliefs, myths, stuff like that. One of them is that no contact is your only
tool. Oftentimes, people will believe that they need to fall back into no contact whenever
they have some sort of interaction, it doesn't go the way that they want. If your last interaction
with your ex was not so great and in the past, they've kind of disappeared on you for about
30 days, they might be thinking, "Okay, I need to retreat into no contact again." So
that is definitely one of the things that you might be experiencing if your ex is doing
now contact.
Speaker 1: I hope that helps you out. I hope that gives
you some understanding about your ex's potential actions, behaviors, whether they might be
a no contact or not. What do you think? Leave a comment down below and let me know if you
think your ex is in no contact. If your ex has been in no contact, intentionally going
into no contact, what were some signs that you noticed when they were doing that? Also,
we do have that Connect and Commit course down in the description box below if you're
curious about that. Also, we have our no contact playlist over here. Check that out if you're
interested or you might be interested in checking out this video over here, but thank you so
much for watching this. I hope you have a great weekend. Be sure to give this video
a thumbs up and subscribe if you like what we're doing here. Take care and I'll talk
to you next week.