Transcriber: Tanya Cushman Reviewer: Peter van de Ven
Yeah, yeah, I got home.
I've got to get these groceries put away
and start my corn casserole.
Yep, I'm excited.
The kids are coming over and the grandkids.
But they don't want me to use a whole stick of butter
in my corn casserole,
and the buttermilk brownies have two sticks of butter.
I mean, what are they thinking?
I know: be healthy.
Hey, wait.
I'm going to have to call you back.
I think I left my phone at the store.
(Laughter)
Oh, check my car. Yeah.
That actually happened.
I had an episode of nomophobia.
It's a legit condition people have when they can't find their phone.
When I have an episode, I panic and get disoriented.
Yeah, nomophobia.
Today, we're going to talk about the magic of the meal.
Things certainly have changed with technology today.
We have in our hands the ability to maximize the human experience,
to connect.
This,
this is what comes to mind when you say "Snapchat."
You younger generation, that you Snapchat?
We would chat with grandma on the porch
while she snapped her beans.
(Laughter)
Real snap chat.
Things have changed since we snapped beans with Grandma
and every recipe had a stick of butter in it.
Ah, family meals,
back when my generation overfed you
and made you eat for the starving children on the other side of the world.
(Laughter)
Ah, family meals.
Yes, with the technology that we have today,
you would think that we're more connected than ever,
but we're disconnected.
In the last 20 years, family meals have decreased by 33%.
Fewer families are sitting at the table,
talking face-to-face about the highs and lows of the day,
the dreams of tomorrow,
questions about life.
Yes. There's been a disrupt in our norm.
Family meals are no longer as often.
And let's take a look through history.
Family meals or mealtime together, connecting has been important,
with breaking of bread,
with sharing gratitude.
Can a meal really make a difference?
In 2016, Ayelet Fishbach at the University of Chicago
discovered that sharing the same food at a meal
encouraged cooperation and trust,
even among strangers and enemies.
In June of 1790, Thomas Jefferson, the newly elected secretary of state,
hosted a dinner party,
and he invited James Madison, the representative of Virginia,
and Alexander Hamilton, the secretary of finance.
A Jeffersonian meal had 30-plus dishes
served at a round mahogany table to encourage equality.
Now, these men were at odds about a government issue.
Madison wanted the capital in Washington,
and Hamilton didn't.
Hamilton wanted the government to pay for the Revolutionary War debt,
and Madison didn't.
Over this satiating, dopamine-producing meal,
the two came to an agreement,
and this is known as the Compromise of 1790.
In an apartment in New York City near Gramercy Park,
a PBS executive, producer, hosted a party
and invited to the dinner a Carnegie Foundation executive.
Over the meal, the executive expressed how intrigued he was
that his three-year-old daughter was fascinated with television.
Could TV be used for educational purposes?
This was in the '60s.
Over that meal, creativity flourished,
and the two came up with the idea for Sesame Street.
Now, a meal, to be effective and historic,
doesn't have to have 30 Jeffersonian courses;
it can just be dessert.
I remember a young man wanting to get to know me
and inviting me out for ice cream.
Did that meal make history?
I think it did.
We've been married 45 years, have eight children and 17 grandchildren -
and counting? - so far.
Yes, so that's history; that's looking at the past.
What do we know today?
Well, we know that enjoying good food produces happy chemicals.
When you eat good food, it produces happy chemicals.
When you receive a text or play a video game,
you also get happy chemicals.
But we know that real happiness comes
when we maximize the human experience.
We want to connect.
We need to connect.
And how can we maximize the human experience?
I developed my "Cycle of D's" for maximizing the human experience.
First, we have a disrupt; our norm is changed.
Then we decide what to do about it.
If we move forward, we design a new action.
And then, we deliver on what we've designed
and amazingly, discover wonderful and new things to do.
And the cycle keeps going because life never stands still.
In the instance of the meal,
I realized I had a disrupt with the family meal.
It had the "melt like a stick of butter in the oven."
I had to rethink all my recipes.
I had to rethink what family meal was.
And then, I decided, yes,
I did want to connect with family and friends, even strangers and enemies,
so I would need to design a new way to do that, which I did,
and deliver on my plan, which I did,
and I am here to tell you some things that I've discovered,
I'm excited about.
Where did we get to where we are?
What things changed?
The process of putting a meal together, which is a bonding experience,
began changing with the introduction of frozen TV dinners
(Laughter)
that encouraged us to sit in front of the captivating boob tube.
And then progress helped us so much with how we prepare food:
they gave us the microwave.
Now, there are people today
that won't use it because of health reasons.
Yes, so many things have changed.
Such a disrupt on the norm.
Who would've thought that we'd have a TV show
with Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg?
(Laughter)
How else has progress helped us in the food industry?
On any given day,
one-third of American meals are fast food.
20% of American meals are eaten in the car.
65% of American workers eat lunch alone at their desk.
Where's the magic?
We've lost the magic of the meal.
Is that a family meal?
Is this?
I know that my idea of a family meal is outdated;
it needed to be transformed.
And I know that statistics say that family meals are on the decrease.
But I discovered
there are people who are hungry, if you will, to be connected.
They do value gathering around food, having family meals.
I asked the receptionist at my eye doctor.
I asked the gym owner where I work out.
I even walked up to a three-generation family
at a restaurant:
"Are family meals important to you?" I ask.
All of them said yes.
Dr. Anne Fishel, a family therapist,
founder of Family Dinner Project,
believes that family meals
are important for connecting, for enjoyment and for stability.
Yes, family meals are important.
So back to the Cycle of D's.
If everybody thinks these are important,
then what?
Why aren't we having our magic in our meals?
What can we do about this disrupt?
Well, I discovered that how and where people eat has changed.
People still do hunger to be connected,
but it's different.
I discovered four ways
that the use of technology and the desire to be connected
have come together in the middle
and created four different opportunities - there's probably more -
to bring the magic back.
Pop-up restaurants.
My son has a Japanese street-food pop-up
in Atlanta, Georgia.
What a great combination of technology and fight-prepared food
and an opportunity to enjoy an event together with family and friends.
It's so fun to watch him create,
and the flavors are awesome.
This could never have been possible before technology,
and going out to eat has been on the rise
since my mom used too much butter in the recipes.
But according to USDA, that trend has leveled off,
partly because of the expense,
partly because people want to eat healthier.
Some smart companies took advantage of that
and created services.
Our daughter gifted us with a few weeks of Hello Fresh. Ah.
The box of the exact ingredients you need,
the exact amount and a simple recipe to follow
comes right to your door,
and it's perfect for people that don't have time to shop
or extra money to spend on too many ingredients.
It's exactly what you need.
I never would have thought of putting kiwi in my picante.
That was a good tip.
Have you heard of eatwith or BonAppetour?
People are hungry to connect, and they do want a home-cooked meal.
This is like airbnb for food.
You want to have a home-cooked meal?
Download the app, look for a host near you,
and make a reservation, pay,
and show up at their door
(Laughter)
at the time of your reservation.
(Laughter)
The thing I'm really excited about?
This is international.
So the next time we go to Paris and we want a home-cooked Parisian meal,
pull up your eatwith and make a reservation.
Isn't that awesome?
This would not be possible without technology.
I wanted to connect with my family.
How can I use this to get my family together?
It's very hard because my eight children
live in six cities and five states and two countries.
Even here, we're missing eight of us.
We had to rent a retreat center for our Thanksgiving gathering.
How can I get everybody together
or at least attempt to get everybody together?
Hmm.
Using technology.
We'll have a virtual family meal.
I used Doodle to find out who was available when
and my Zoom account to be able to see everybody.
First attempt we had 50%.
Second attempt we had six out of eight.
It was stateside for lunch and Bosnia family had dinner,
and four of us were eating.
It was great to connect,
and the cousins got to see each other - they never see each other much -
and we got to talk,
and nobody complained about too much butter.
What is the magic?
We're talking about the magic of the meal.
The magic is maximizing the human experience.
And the meal is a great way to do it
because everybody's got to eat.
We have the magic of the meal, coming together, connecting.
People are hungry to connect.
Maybe it's not eating alone; it's eating with your co-workers.
I took this picture at my son's office.
Everything that goes into preparing a meal
is part of the magic, the connecting.
And then sitting with the family, together at the table,
seeing the colors,
smelling the flavors
and tasting the flavors
and feeling the texture
and listening to the stories.
Or maybe it's out with friends
without cell phones.
Has your mind been disrupted?
Have you begun to consider
how much you do want the magic in the meal?
Maybe you could invite that disgruntled co-worker
out for lunch at your expense.
We have the ability to create magic,
the magic of the meal.
It doesn't look like the way it used to maybe -
have to leave out some of the butter and use gluten-free corn meal -
(Laughter)
and people get distracted on their cell phones,
but if we take the concept of the magic with the ability of technology
and come together in the middle,
we can create magic.
Let's don't throw the bacon out with the bacon grease.
(Laughter)
Let's come together in the middle.
Oh, speaking of the magic of the meal,
I've got to get my corn casserole ready and my buttermilk brownies.
Oh, I've already made six batches of buttermilk brownies
because I know you're hungry,
and if you'll look under your chair,
there's a little lunch bag with the recipe for these wonderful buttermilk brownies
and two little forks
so you can find someone to share it with.
There's also a call to action:
see if you will step up and decide to take action
and deliver on your call to action
and discover new ways to have magic in your life.
Yes, I know we are all hungering for connection.
Let's create the magic in the meal.
(Applause)