Can I have a word with you all please?
What's the matter Celia? You look worried.
I am . That was the council. They're sending
a health inspector here to check
the kitchen out.
Really? Well, there's nothing to worry about
where I'm concerned. I think you'll find
everything over here is spick and span.
It's your personal hygiene I'd be worried about, Gordon.
What time is this health inspector coming?
Don't know - it's a spot check.# it could happen at any time so let's get to work i want this place as clean as a whistle
It could happen at any time, so let's get to
work. I want this place as clean as a whistle.
There's a layer of grease on that bit.
And on that bit.
There you go. Spotless. You could eat
your dinner off of that.
Why would you eat your dinner off the
cooker when we've got plates?
Look, Gordon, are you going to help us clean
the rest of the kitchen?
Why? I didn't make that area dirty.
If we don't get a clean bill of health
the council could shut us down.
Ah, yes, and then I can work in a proper restaurant,
where the chefs cook and the cleaners clean.
A car's just pulled up. It could be the
health inspector.
Well, we've done our best Celia, under the
circumstances.
Hmm, doesn't look too bad.
Urgh!
Ah, yes, well, um, no I can explain....
Gordon, looks like you need to clean
your act up.
Well said Mary.
Should we start with a clean slate?
Quickly!
This is all very exciting. Everybody wants
the sushi.
That's because tonight is our special
sushi night, idiot. A chance for me to cook
something really special for people with
appreciation of real exotic food.
It's raw fish isn't it Gordon? No cooking
required.
Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Oh well at least you can't burn it!
You wouldn't understand. The only fish
you eat is deep fried with chips, now
out the way.
Oh, oh dear, oh let's just put them on
the plate shall we? No one will notice.
I'll help you.
It's ruined now. Why don't you go and
do some waiting while I work out what to do next.
How's our sushi night coming on?
Got everything under control, Gordon?
No. We are up the creek without a
paddle. Peter has just made me drop my
sushi and I've got no more sushi rice.
I can't make any more.
Oh dear - is our sushi night on the brink of disaster?
I need more sushi rice. Erm, I'm gonna have
to go and get some. You wouldn't know what
to get. Mary, why don't you entertain the customers
by reading your philosophy thesis.
Hang on Celia,- isn't this the rice
Gordon was using?
I think so. Leave it to me.
I've told him before if he does this again...
what kind of Asian supermarket doesn't
sell sushi rice? This whole evening is a disaster.
Where did you get that?
Disaster averted. Mary made these and saved
the day again.
Peter.
Yes?
Can you take these out to the customers
and apologise for the delay.
Oh, that was a close shave.
Yes, well it's. erm, good thing I always
make a point of having some spare ingredients.
Oh, what a night.
Yes, amazing. I've never done anything
like that before.
Nor I.
My first ever award ceremony.
I didn't sleep a wink when I got home.
I was still buzzing from meeting all those
celebrity chefs.
Didn't sleep a wink, did you say Peter?
I slept like a log.
Celebrity chefs don't excite me. They may be
famous but can they cook?
Well, they certainly win a lot of awards
and yes, the Poison Ivy won Restaurant of the Year.
It's a shame we didn't win the awards though.
Yes, well, I wouldn't lose too much sleep
over it. What is an award anyway but
just a piece of metal that sits on the shelf
gathering dust. A real award is a
customer thanking me for an excellent
meal.
Really? I thought you said getting an
award would be the highlight of your career.
Peter, I think it's best we let sleeping dogs lie.
When you know how sensitive he is.
Where's my sleeping partner?
I hope you didn't mean me.
I'm the only boss here. Sorry I'm a bit late,
I had a bit too much champagne last night -
but at least I slept like a baby.
Lucky you! Peter and I may need a cat nap later.
You've got no stamina. Honestly, you
two left earlier than me.
Well, that's cause you kept putting your arm
around me.
Oh, did he indeed? Well, after that
woman on the dance floor slapped you around
the face and you left, the judges gave out
another award.
Another award? Really?
Yes, and guess what? We won it!
Oh, that's some recognition. My true talents
are they're in writing to be seen.
Oh, come on Peter, what does it say?
Gordon Grater - most arrogant chef!
Oh, congratulations.
Oh, Gordon. Looks like you need some beauty sleep!
How are you today, Peter?
Very good, thank you.
Actually, not very good, thank you for asking.
Why? What's the matter?
Well, last night I was walking home
when I crossed the road and I was almost
hit by a burger van.
Oh no Peter. That's terrible. Are you OK?
Just a bit shaken. He was going so fast.
Why don't you come and sit down in
the office until you feel a bit better.
OK.
Sorry I'm late. I had some extracurricular
activities.
To be honest, I overslept. I've been working late
doing another job.
You moonlighting Gordon? Do you really
need a second job?
This is not any old job, sweetheart, this is
an opportunity to manage a high-class
American-themed restaurant. This is my
future.
Are you sure?
God's honest truth.
Really? Look, I think you should tell Celia
to avoid any problems. Honesty is the
best policy.
No, no, I don't think we should tell her.
Let's keep it our little secret. Anyway, I don't
want her thinking I'm working here out of
sympathy.
No, no, of course not. Anyway where is
this high class restaurant?
Well, you wouldn't know where it is.
Try me.
Well, it's currently parked, I mean located
on Canal Street near the park.
That was where I was almost hit by
that burger van.
Look, I've got a photo of the van on my phone.
Oh, that's strange. That van's parked outside
our restaurant. Maybe I ought to call the police.
Let's not be too hasty. I'm sure there's a
simple explanation.
Yes, I think there might be.
Gordon, you may as well come clean -
this high-class restaurant you're managing -
it's a burger van isn't it?
What's that Gordon? Flipping burgers in your
spare time?
How would you like to flip burgers
full time instead of working here?
Let's not be too hasty. I'm just trying to make
an honest living.
Oh well, if you're a decent and honest
man, why don't you compensate Peter
for the stress that you've caused him?
Thank you.
Well, now that everything is open and above
board perhaps we could book a table at your
restaurant tonight?
Listen everyone. I've just heard on the radio
the police are looking for a criminal who was
last seen in this area. We need to keep an
eye out for him.
Oh no, you don't think he'll come here do
you?
Oh yes, no doubt he have a three-course
meal while he waits for the police to
catch him.
Not if he's eating your cooking, Gordon!
Anyway Celia, what does he look like?
Well, the police say that he's about
Gordon's height. He's got a slightly reddish
face and he's wearing a silly hat.
Well don't look at me.
Oh, and he's got glasses and he also has a moustache.
Moustache! Sounds like a proper criminal.
He no doubt slits the throats of his
victims, killed his mother and doesn't pay
his taxes. When I see him, I'll make
sure he gets his comeuppance.
You're all mouth and no trousers, Gordon.
Anyway, everyone back to work
and remember we need to keep an eye out for him.
Are you a bit nervous, Gordon?
No, I've had to deal with customers that
are worse than criminals.
The man... I think he's out there - table three.
OK, stay calm. Err, Peter, go get Celia.
Gordon, go and see if he's out there.
Come on - are you a man or a mouse?
He might have a knife or a gun.
He could be dangerous.
Oh, come on. What are you made of?
I thought you were my knight in shining armour.
I'll see if it's him.
False alarm. It's not him.
Right, that's it. I'm going out there. How
dare we have customers trying to look like
dangerous criminals. I was that close to
handing him over to the police.
Oh, don't bother.
When did I say he was a dangerous criminal?
The police are looking for a thief who was shoplifting.
Hmm, I think it's safer if you stay
in the kitchen Gordon.
Is that wise? It's his cooking that's criminal.