Why you should not live together before getting married. Six reasons to stop cohabitating today.
In our culture, friends with benefits and cohabitating is part of our culture. But in
the Scripture we see another way, and scriptural way is better and I will prove to you today in
this video. Now let's start from the beginning. In 1970s only 0.2 couples cohabitated. Today it's
about 15 percent of couples ages 18 through 34. Now 78 percent of ages 18 through 29 say it's
acceptable for unmarried couples to live together, even if they don't plan to get married. Now that's
majority of people in our world today. But 41 percent of Christians find the idea of living
together is a good idea. Even 58 percent of white evangelicals approve of cohabitation,
if couples plan to get married. What does the Bible say, and why you should wait until you
get married for you to move in together and live with the person that you want to spend
your life with? Well reason number one. In the beginning being naked was reserved
for a man and his wife. Genesis 2:24-25 it says:
That means you should not be naked with anybody who is not your wife and who is
not your husband. The second reason is cohabitation is a sin of fornication.
So not only the first thing we see the Scripture outlines this pattern,
you should be naked with the person that is your wife or your husband. But secondly is the Bible
also tells us that cohabitating is actually a sin of fornication, and 1 Corinthians 7:2 it says:
That means that we are are limited in our sexual expression with our spouse. Not with
our boyfriend or our girlfriend. We can't be living with somebody who is not our spouse,
as though they are. Third reason why you should not be cohabitating and you should stop living
together, is that living together does not constitute marriage. Now in John 4:17-18,
Jesus meets a Samaritan woman and the woman answered and said, after Jesus said, "Hey, bring
your husband." And she says, "I have no husband." And Jesus said to her, "You have said well for you
have no husband, for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you have now is not your husband;
and that you spoke truly." So this man that this woman most likely was living with, even though she
is with him but he is not her husband, and Jesus says, "Hey, just because you're living together,
it doesn't mean you're married." That's why He doesn't call him her husband. He says,
he is not your husband. So living together does not constitute marriage. The fourth reason is
living together has negative consequences on your future marriage. Married adults have higher levels
of relationship satisfaction and trust, than those living with an unmarried partner. That's pure
research tells us that. Now Journal of Marriage and Family tells us that couples who live together
before marriage are 46 percent more likely to divorce after they get married. So living
together as a way of testing out a relationship, statistically does not improve your chances of
marital happiness down the road. It actually decreases that. Dr Patrick did a statistical
analysis of cohabitation in America, based on the findings of a number of academic resources,
and this is what his conclusions were. He found out that relationships are unstable in
cohabitation. One out of six of cohabitating couples stay together for only three years,
and one out of ten survive five or more years. He also found out that cohabitating women
often end up with the responsibility of marriage, particularly when it comes to caring for children,
without legal protection, and a lot of times without financial support. Research shows that
they contribute, women, more than 70 percent of relationships income. This whole cohabitation is
really a benefit to men, and it's a burden to a woman. Cohabitation, this doctor also found out,
brings a greater risk of sexually transmitted diseases because cohabitating men are four times
more likely to be unfaithful than husbands. So guys who cohabitate, they are four times
more likely to be not faithful. Another thing they found out with the cohabitating couples,
a statistic that said that poverty rates are higher among cohabitators. Those who share a
home but never marry, have a 78 percent less wealth than those who are continuously married.
Another thing they found out about cohabitating couples is that those who actually suffered the
most from cohabitational relationship are actually the children. Poverty rate among the children of
cohabitating couples are five times greater than the rate among the children in married couple
households. Children ages 12 through 17 with cohabitating parents are six times more likely to
exhibit emotional and behavioral problems, and 222 percent more likely to be expelled from school.
Ouch. So for those of you who think that God's rules are outdated, God's standards are to take
away your blessing. It's the furthest thing from the truth. You must understand is that when you
live together, the statistic actually is against you that women end up carrying most of the load,
children as a result suffer, and men tend to cheat more because there's no commitment attached,
and that seems to drive men into a cheating mode. Now ,of course most of these statistics relate to
people who are not following the Scriptures, or Christ, because those people probably wouldn't
be cohabitating. But I'm pretty sure if you're watching this video, there's a very high chance
you're a Christian who is cohabitating, and who thinks there's nothing wrong with it. Now reason
number five why you should not be cohabitating. Living together adds to the mix of generational
curses. Now Dr Bob Larson in one of his blogs said the following. "According to statistics,
cohabitating couple usually enter into two or third cohabitation. Every cohabitation
adds to the mix of generational evil. The more partners in fornication, the more likely spiritual
contamination." That's crazy. With one marriage partner you have two bloodlines of curses to deal
with. With two cohabitations, it's four; with three cohabitations, it's six, and so on. That
does not include all the hookups along the way. So this is from Dr Bob Larson, an exorcist who
does deliverance, and he encourages, his point is that because a lot of cohabitating couples
do more than one cohabitations. They actually accumulate a mix of generational curses that will
drastically affect their future. The sixth and the final reason why you should not cohabitate,
is that living together devalues women. Women tend to bring in more goods to the relationship,
more work, more effort to keep the relationship, but they get less satisfaction from the relational
commitment and security. Men tend to be drawn to the woman's physical appearance which decreases
with time. Women are drawn to man's power, resources, which tend to increase with time. Now
marriage provides a safety net for the changes in both finances and the physical appearance,
grounding both people in an institution that provides more security for a woman, as it
provides more stability, and protection for a man as well. Marriage is a very pro-woman institution.
Cohabitation devalues women. Now if you're watching this video and you are cohabitating,
my desire is not to guilt-trip you. Even though, I'm hoping that from this video, it's pretty clear
it is not God's will. In fact, it is a sin to live together before getting married. Now, and
don't use that lame excuse, "Well, we're living together but we're not having sex." You know that,
that's not going to fly. Even if you are not having sex and you're living together, what kind
of a testimony, you're jeopardizing your testimony because nobody in the right mind will believe that
both of you love each other, and you're not having sex, and something is wrong with you. And so it's
a bad testimony to the world, and we need to live our life in righteousness and purity. So
three things I will give you in the conclusion if you are cohabitating. Continue to shack up,
but the Scripture and statistics are not in your favor. That's one thing you can do. Secondly is
find separate living quarters, and stop having sex until you get married. Third thing is get married
quickly and have a formal wedding later. Now this third thing is mainly for people who are living
together, they have children already together and their lives are so intervened, they actually are
like husband and wife. The only difference is that they're not married, and they go to church. A lot
of times there's a sense of guilt, and rightly so because they're not living in pleasing to
God. They're not following God's standards. And so a lot of times people use this excuse,
"Well we want to save money. We want to save a lot of money, so we can have a fancy wedding." Well
you're kind of living in sin, so it's just better to have marriage now and then have the formal
wedding later. So you really have one of the three options. Continue to be friends with benefits,
but the Bible and the statistics actually are not in your favor. Number two is separate,
and stop having sex until you get married, and number three is get married, go to court,
get married, sign the paper, have somebody pray for you, break them curses and then have a formal
wedding later. God bless you. Thank you for watching this video. I hope that this brought
clarity and conviction. So that you can follow the ways of Jesus, the ways of the Bible and the way
that could bring a blessing into your life. Don't forget to hit like to this video. Share this with
other people. Maybe with your boyfriend, the one that you're living with or your girlfriend,
the one that you're living with. And let me know in the comments below what your thoughts are,
if you are cohabitating and after this video you're saying, "We are going to part
ways." Drop your testimony below in the comment. As well as look to other videos that I have on
the end screen, so that you can learn more about relationship, dating and marriage.