[announcer]
[woman]
I mean, she is a very caring person.
She's very compassionate.
[man]
Her personality, her smile.
[mellow music plays]
[woman]
in an abandoned house in Chicago.
[Jessica]
on the West Side of Chicago, there's very few reasons.
It would either be to get dope,
to sell dope, or to do dope.
I'm addicted to heroin.
Let me in!
[siren wailing]
[woman]
you're just overtaken by urine and feces
and just a rotten smell.
[dramatic music plays]
People have died in the yard, overdosed in the yard.
[dog barking]
It's scary.
[Jessica]
about how dangerous it is.
Okay, please hand me some dope.
But the only thing I worry about is getting dope.
I went to the doctor recently and they told me
I have an infection in my heart valve...
It hurts.
...from IV drug use.
Honey, where'd the rest of my money go?
Guess I never really stopped and thought,
"Wow, we just spent ten grand this week."
[woman]
Bubbly and just fun.
[gentle music plays]
We lived in a little efficiency apartment.
We didn't even have a bed, we would lay down, you know,
big, huge pile of blankets.
[Jessica]
Everything!
[sniffles]
I remember needing my mom very much.
When they got married,
I felt like I lost my mom.
[melancholy music plays]
I never fit in with him.
My mom's very emotional, very affectionate, very loving,
very caring, and he's not.
Just always felt very lonely,
very... very different,
very, um, out of place.
I remember just feeling really lonely and sad all the time.
Like overwhelmingly lonely and sad.
I knew there was a good person there, that was my dad.
He had... couldn't be all bad.
But usually he was intoxicated.
He didn't take care of me.
All he did was go out and drink every night.
[Tammy]
and wanting a relationship with him.
She was desperate.
I wanted a dad so bad.
[sniffles]
[dark music plays]
I wanted to be close to him, I wanted to be, you know,
loved and feel needed.
She said, "Mom, I know you don't understand
my dad smoking crack with me,
but that is the only way he could show he loved me."
He was just an awful person.
[grim music plays]
They took his, uh, they took his breathing tube out,
and I just kinda held his hand,
and he took like three breaths
and that was it, and he was gone.
I went straight to the ICU bathroom
and shot up dope in the bathroom for like an hour.
I remember just laying there crying and high.
He left me alone by myself.
[sniffles]
[sighs]
[tense music plays]
Everything just... spiraled out of control.
Just hopelessly out of control. There was no saving it.
[Jessica]
getting high every day just to be able to get out of bed.
There is nothing more important in that woman's life right now.
Nothing.
[Tammy]
and they want me to come identify her body.
I do pray for death sometimes.
Like it's got to the point where I just want to give up.
[soft music plays]
My girls...
I love them more than anything in the whole world.
[Jessica giggling]
Mmm. I missed you.
[sniffles]
We're gonna go get drugs and...
-Okay. -Come on in. [sniffles]
[exhales deeply]
Jose, my mom's gonna come in here and wait with us.
[Jose] Come in.
So if you'll give him 70 bucks...
[Tammy] Does the, um, dope man give change?
She hates knowing what she's giving me the money for.
But if she quit giving me money for dope,
I would be very upset because she's gotten me used to it.
So what's going on?
I know you feel uncomfortable but...
don't really have a choice.
[breathing heavily]
I feel gross.
I don't wanna be here.
Mom, please don't!
Not right now, please!
[Tammy sobs]
[soft music plays]
I thought that me and Marty could make a really good family.
Like I thought he could be a good dad to the girls.
[Tammy]
The drugs destroyed them.
So maybe you could consider it cheating, we still are married.
But I can't even have a civil conversation with you about Jose
'cause you freak out and are like...
[Marty chuckles]
[Marty]
the damage she's done in our family.
I want her to realize...
the trail of heartache.
I have a million things going through my mind.
I know I want to go get high.
That's what I know. [laughs]
[Tammy sniffles]
Your addiction has put you
in the danger of dying in the street.
Your addiction is causing your girls
to have to grow up without you.
Your addiction has broke my heart.
[sobbing]
Your addiction has taken away everything you love.
[sobbing]
If you do not accept this gift of help...
[solemn music plays]
...I can no longer
financially support you in any way.
Mom, I'm not... I can't do this now!
[sniffling, sobbing]
-Yeah, let's-let's do that. -[Jessica sniffles]
Let's do that because the longer we wait...
I'm not happy, I'm like in a really bad mood.
I would have nobody near me.
Where are we gettin' in a car at?
Right down here.
[sobbing]
[gentle music plays]
[mellow music plays]
I feel amazing.
When I was in the abando, being there,
I was very delusional, and I had convinced myself
that it wasn't that bad,
but being here and having running water
and having hot meals...
is amazing.
Oh, my God.
I feel like I'm gonna cry.
[exhales] Okay. I don't wanna cry.
I'm not messing my makeup up.
-Can you see me?
I see you now. What are you doing?
I get to have a fresh start with my kids.
That's what I'm most excited about.
♪ Veins swell ♪
♪ You know me well enough to tell ♪
♪ Five steps, you're over ♪
["Five Steps" by The Davenports plays]
♪ Quick cut ♪
♪ Make your move deliberate ♪