[Claire] Phil, honey, I need your help.
With what? - What is the one thing a speeder can't outrun?
Bullets. A laser?
Oh, I know a falcon.
Dad, jump in. - Not a good time.
Laser Falcon! - That's awesome.
Shame.
Slow down your neighbors?
No. Slow down.
Talking to the speeder.
Who's talking to the speeder?
Your neighbors.
Doesn't say that.
Yeah, it just says, slow down your neighbors.
Phil.
I know what you were going for, but now all I can say is slow down your neighbors.
Well, you're all wrong, because this is incredibly clear,
and it's really important. We need to put these signs up all over the neighborhood.
I don't know, it seems kind of cowardly.
Why don't you just make an anonymous call to the police?
I called the police, and they were totally unhelpful.
Surprise, surprise.
Phil, come on. You with me or not?
Of course I'm with you. Who else would I be with? This guy?
I have no connection to this guy.
Good. - No.
Fine.
Before you judge me, I have come in second to Gil Thorpe for salesman of the quarter ,
seven quarters in a row.
Seven.
Nobody remembers second best. Oh, yeah. Everybody loves Michael Jordan.
But nobody thinks that Scottie Pippen.
The only reason I remember him is because he's named after my favorite musical.
[knocking]
Oh. Hey, Mitch. - Hey,
its Barry. - Uh, I just want to let you guys know
you got a sprinkler head that's leaking out there.
Oh. Thanks, Barry. I'll let the gardener know.
All right, well, or maybe I could just wave my hands over it and heal it that way.
I'm joking.
Oh. [chuckles]
Oh, God, that was a good one.
Look, don't worry about it. As soon as I start talking about Reiki, I could tell you
thought I might be a little nutty.
Ah.
Was I that obvious?
You roll your eyes a lot.
No, it's true.
It's true, though. I once saw a picture of myself at a friend's poetry slam and all you
could see were the whites of my eyes.
Yeah, I looked like Little Orphan Annie
from the cartoon.
I'm sorry if I offended you.
No. Don't apologize.
Look, I. The only thing that offends me is a man who doesn't live in his own truth.
I appreciate how hard you try not to roll your eyes right now.
Because I'm about to pass out.
I see it.
Okay.
I'm ready.
Oh.
What the hell is he wearing?
Protection pads. He needs more?
We're riding bikes.
We're not training police dogs.
All right, kid, come on, get on.
On board.
Attaboy.
All right, we ready? Ride.
Be careful, papi.
Ignore her.
I've seen the kid fall down on that moving sidewalk at the airport, so I didn't have
high hopes.
Whoa.
But what do you know? The kid was a natural.
Mom, it's so easy.
Bravo, Manny.
I told you.
Be careful with that bump.
Hey, wait a minute. Who's that guy?
Jay, he's gonna grab him.
Oh, no one's grabbing anyone.
It's a neighbor.
Gloria, on the other hand, was a natural disaster.
There are three things you want to do before you ride.
Manny.
Check your shoelaces, adjust your mirror, and test your bell.
Okay. Shoelaces, tied.
The mirror is good.
[bell ringing]
The bell is ringing.
Okay, now what? Ride.
Ay, no, no no, Jay, don't push me.
I don't want to get hurt.
Trust me.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
You're a work of art. If you get scratched, the value goes down.
Now, making a joke to lighten the mood.
It's not working.
Let's just do this.
Okay? Slowly.
Jay. Slowly.
Relax. You're not going to fall, I got you.
Put your feet on the pedals.
Now look where you're going.
Look where you're going.
No! I'm falling. I'm falling. - Look straight ahead. Go go, go!
No, Jay! - Pedal!
[bell ringing]
[bell ringing] What are you ringing the bell for?
Ay, why you letting me go? Jay?
Pedal! No! Look where you're going.
Look where you're going. - I'm gonna kill you, Jay!
Okay. Good day's work.
What do you say we hit the jewelry store?
[hammering]
Phil?
Laura.
What are you doing?
Taking this sign down.
I recognized your license plate.
This is ridiculous.
I know they're all over the neighborhood.
What kind of lunatic does something like this?
Who knows.
It's probably some bored housewife who hates her husband and hates her life
so she takes it out on the rest of us.
Or things are so good at home, she's out looking for problems.
Trust me, this woman needs to get laid.
I don't think that's the issue.
Here.
Stick this up. Send her a message from me.
Okay.
[horn honking]
Hey. - Hey.
Oh, my gosh, what happened to my sign?
I don't know, I put it up, I went away, I came back, it was in pieces.
This is so crazy.
Crazy!
Claire, this whole thing is crazy.
Maybe we should back off a little bit.
You know what, Phil? No, I am not gonna back off.
Okay? I am doing this for the safety of our neighborhood.
[tire screech]