So on "action" you can enter and land.
Alright.
And then one idea was just to start and then,
these are the lines here, thank you.
OK, actually is it OK if I do,
Marcia Gay Harden's lines from...
Do you wanna go in that direction?
OK, and action.
Maybe should just stare at the camera,
and just like, stare also, right?
You can do that, that totally works, yeah.
Okay, and whenever you're ready.
Is it OK if I just do, um...
Marcia Gay Harden's monologue from Pollock instead?
Sure whatever works for you.
OK.
You wanna know why...
We're not having a baby, Pollock?!
Because of you and your drinking!
You, you need, you need, you need!
And I am not gonna bring a baby into that!
Pollock!
Thank you.
I think we got it.
We did, we did.
(laughing)
That's the only part I remember.
(cheerful muttering)
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore?
Yeah?
Like, show-off.
Did the others, did you guys film anyone else yet?
We filmed Thomas Middleditch, Nick Offerman --
And Aubrey.
Aubrey Plaza.
Okay, so I can go home.
Did Offerman know his whole name?
No, of course he didn't, no.
No, he's too busy whittling.
(laughing)
Too busy building canoes.
And this was the question.
I'm reading the books, he's making canoes.
I'm actually reading the books.
That'd be a great chance for you to like,
"Well judging by the look on your faces
"you guys don't have an answer for me,
"so I'm gonna have to wing this now."
Well I guess I'm gonna have to,
I guess I should've flushed my preparation down the toilet,
the way you did with the script!
No respect for the canon.
Guess what, I'm the authority here?
We're gonna play young Albus,
Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
Did the others, did any other,
did Nick Offerman know the whole name?
No he did not.
He did not know his whole name!
Maybe a little less time whittling,
more time reading the books.
I don't know how many canoes the world needs.
Glad you're in your little woodshop,
I do this weird thing called reading,
it's weird, I read the source material.
Anyway OK, yeah fine.
Anyway, your aunt has a new oak paperweight.
(everyone laughing)
Yeah, happy 97th --
Aunt Flo.
Aunt Jenny, you have a new oak paperweight.
Are you ready?
Am I ready,
to play Albus Wolfric Percival Brian Dumbledore?
Uh, I believe, yes I am.
I believe I am, that's his entire name.
Did the others know, did Nick Offerman know the whole name?
No.
No!
Nick Offerman didn't know the whole name,
hmm, that's weird, maybe a little more time reading,
JK Rowling's books,
and less time whittling, you know,
less time in the woodshop.
(chuckling)
I don't know how many canoes the world needs.
I do this weird thing
where I read the source material, whatever.
OK, I just really quick before I go,
what kind of era are we talking here,
is this around the time when Dumbledore won
the Barnabus Finkley Prize for Exceptional Spell-casting,
or was this when he was the British Youth Representative
at the Wizengamot?
Do we know which one we're doing?
He's like a teen, teenager.
He's like a teenager?
So we're just gonna, we'll wing the whole thing?
Good, then maybe I'll just wing my audition,
and then it'll fit in right into,
your, kinda half-assed, thing.
So this is is Patton Oswalt,
reading for Harry Potter and the Half-Assed Movie,
here we go.
I need a minute.
(laughing)
And we never see him again.