WELCOME
WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW. DID YOU KNOW THAT ONE IN EIGHT COUPLES HAVE TROUBLE GETTING
PREGNANT AND FOR YEARS WOMEN
AND MEN HAVE FELT TOO ALONE OR
TOO ASHAMED TO TALK ABOUT THE
LOSS WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY
AND SOME OF US HESITATE NOT
REALLY KNOWING WHAT TO SAY TO
SOMEONE WHO WAS EXPERIENCING
INFERTILITY.
SO I'M GLAD WE GET TO CHAT
TODAY WITH DR. LAURA SHAHEEN
FROM PACIFIC NORTHWEST
FERTILITY.
HI, DR. SHAHEEN.
I AM REALLY THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR HAVING ME.
I'M HAPPY TO TALK.
I'M REALLY GLAD THAT WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT THIS BECAUSE
GETTING OUT IN THE OPEN MAKES
IT EASIER FOR ALL OF US.
RIGHT.
AND BECAUSE THE HARDEST PART IS
STARTING THE CONVERSATION.
LET'S START WITH A FRIEND OR
FAMILY MEMBER.
WHAT CAN THEY SAY TO START WHAT
DO YOU SAY TO YOUR FRIEND OR A
FAMILY MEMBER WHO YOU KNOW
MIGHT BE STRUGGLING?
ABSOLUTELY.
HONESTLY MAKE IT SIMPLE TO SAY
I'M SORRY, THAT MUST BE HARD
AND I'M HERE FOR YOU SO OFTEN
THAT WE'RE SO WORRIED ABOUT
SAYING THE WRONG THING THAT WE
DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL AND
JUST LETTING THAT PERSON KNOW
THAT THEY HAVE SUPPORT IS THE
MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT IS SO
OK, SO WHAT IF I'M THE ONE
WHO'S EXPERIENCED A PREGNANCY
LOSS OR A STRUGGLE TO GET
PREGNANT?
HOW CAN I START TALKING TO THE
PEOPLE ABOUT MY LOSS?
THAT'S A REALLY GOOD QUESTION
BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT'S THE
HARDEST THING IS TO KNOW HOW TO
ASK FOR HELP AND SOMETIMES WHEN
WE'VE ASKED FOR HELP THEN THE
PERSON CAN INADVERTENTLY SAY
HURTFUL THINGS OR INAPPROPRIATE
THINGS AND SO YOU WANT TO THINK
REALLY CAREFULLY ABOUT WHO
YOU'RE TALKING TO AND JUST BE
VERY OPEN AND IT CAN START WITH
HEY, I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT
SOMETHING THAT'S GOING ON.
I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO HAVE A
BABY OR HAVING MISCARRIAGE AND
I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO FIX ME.
I'M NOT ASKING FOR ADVICE.
I JUST REALLY WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
I'D LOVE TO BE ABLE TO COME TO
YOU WHEN I NEED YOU LISTENING.
CAN BE SO POWERFUL IT'S NOT
GOOD TO TO KEEP INSIDE THOUGH,
RIGHT?
IT'S IT'S IMPORTANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
WHAT IS THE DANGER IN STAYING
SILENT ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE
THIS THAT IS SO IMPORTANT
BECAUSE THINGS TEND TO BUILD UP
IT CAN BE REALLY EASY TO FOCUS
ON THE END GOAL LIKE WELL I'M
JUST GOING TO FOCUS ON GETTING
PREGNANT.
I'M GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS
TREATMENTS MY GOAL AND THEN
JUST HOLD ALL THOSE FEELINGS
INSIDE AND THEY DON'T REALLY GO
AWAY AND I THINK THAT HELPING
TO FOCUS ON HEALING NOT ONLY
PHYSICALLY BUT THE MENTAL
ASPECT AND THE EMOTIONAL
WELLNESS IS A HUGE PART
OF OVERALL SUCCESS AND IT'S
JUST IT CAN'T BE IGNORED.
KEY FACTOR YOU ARE VERY MUCH IN
FAVOR OF USING APPS THAT LET
YOU COMMUNICATE FACE TO FACE
BUT STILL ARE ABLE TO CONTROL
THE CONVERSATION.
FOR EXAMPLE, THAT WOULD BE LIKE
MARCO POLO RIGHT?
I ACTUALLY DIDN'T EVEN THINK
ABOUT THIS DOCTOR SHAHEEN, IT'S
BRILLIANT.
EXACTLY.
BRILLIANT. EXACTLY. THERE'S SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS
TO COMMUNICATE.
WE'RE KIND OF LIVING OUR LIFE
ON SCREENS NOWADAYS WITH
TELEMEDICINE OR ZOOME
APPOINTMENTS OR TEAMS AND THIS
APP MARCO POLO I'VE BEEN USING
IT FOR YEARS AS A WAY TO
COMMUNICATE WITH FRIENDS AND
FAMILY AND I THINK IT'S A
REALLY UNIQUE WAY TO
COMMUNICATE WITH THINGS THAT
ARE TOUGH LIKE GRIEF OR
INFERTILITY OR ILLNESS BECAUSE
YOU CAN CONTROL WHEN YOU
COMMUNICATE AND THAT'S ONE
OF THE MOST DIFFICULT THINGS
ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S SO
EMOTIONAL.
THE GREAT THING ABOUT THIS IS
YOU CAN RECORD A VIDEO AND IT
CAN GO TO THAT PERSON.
THAT PERSON CAN LISTEN TO IT
WHENEVER THEY'RE READY AND THEY
CAN RESPOND WHENEVER THEY'RE
READY.
IT'S LIKE A LITTLE BIT OF TEXT
MESSAGING BACK AND FORTH WITH
VIDEO AND I LOVE BEING ABLE TO
SEE MY MOM'S EXPRESSION WHEN
SHE'S TELLING ME ABOUT THINGS.
IT'S JUST A REALLY UNIQUE WAY
OF COMMUNICATING AND I THINK IT
WOULD BE GREAT FOR PEOPLE WITH
INFERTILITY NOW THAT IT'S
REALLY INCREDIBLE POINT BECAUSE
WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY IS THE
THING I LOVE ABOUT MARKOPOULOS
YOU RESPOND WHEN YOU WANT OR
NOT OR EVEN IF YOU ARE HAVING
AN ACTIVE CONVERSATION THAT YOU
CAN TAKE THE TIME TO THINK
ABOUT WHAT THE PERSON IS SAYING
AND HOW TO RESPOND TO CERTAIN
THINGS WHEN
YOU
YOU ARE
YOU ARE TALKING TO FRIENDS OF OURS AND FAMILY, WHAT ARE THE KEY THINGS
THAT WE DON'T WANT TO SAY WHEN
IT COMES TO INFERTILITY?
GREAT.
I THINK ONE POINT IS TO HOLD
BACK ON ADVICE, LEAVE THE
MEDICAL ADVICE TO THE DOCTORS
AND THE HEALTH CARE PROVIDERS.
ANOTHER THING IS FOCUS ON
LISTENING AND BEING THERE FOR
THAT PERSON'S EXPERIENCE VERY
OFTEN WERE QUICK TO SHARE OUR
OWN EXPERIENCE WITH INFERTILITY
OR STORIES THAT WE'VE HEARD AND
SOMETIMES THE STORIES THAT WE
SHARE SOUND HOPEFUL LIKE OH MY
AUNT HAD SIX MISCARRIAGES
BEFORE SHE FINALLY HAD HER
CHILD AND THAT SOUNDS HOPEFUL
BUT TO THAT PERSON THAT JUST
HAD A MISCARRIAGE SPEAKING TO
THEMSELVES OH MY GOSH, DOES
THAT MEAN THAT I'M GOING TO
HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT
EXPERIENCE TO GET MY GOALS?
SO THOSE ARE TWO THINGS TO
THINK ABOUT.
THOSE ARE REALLY GOOD THINGS TO
THINK ABOUT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, DOCTOR
SHAHEEN.
I KNOW THAT EVEN THE MOST
EMPATHETIC OF US CAN SAY THE
WRONG THINGS SOMETIMES SO THANK
YOU FOR THAT GUIDANCE AND THANK
YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS AND
WE'LL BE CHATTING AGAIN I HOPE
SOON.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, AMITY.
THIS IS A REAL PLEASURE.
ABSOLUTELY.
AND WE HAVE RESOURCES ABOUT