I was a man on a case,
a murder case that is.
I'm Detective Jarvis Jeffries dammit and I wasn't letting the man get away this time.
Oh what's this? A dame?
Oh yes.
Quite the dame she was.
She was wearing a silk, sexy nightgown.
It was crowded in the bar that night, I could barely see her through the crowd.
She was starving but she could barely get a seat at the bar,
so she was left hungry...
for me.
The dame was sticking to me like glue,
but I had to play it cool
but one dame [burp] sorry.
One dame can't take down Detective Jarvis Jeffries.
Oh stop it! The dame was rather forward.
I thought back to my Pamela home,
awaiting the arrival of her brave detective.
Stop it Pamela, we're not married! It was just supposed to be a one-night stand!
But once the dames get a taste, Jarvis can't be erased.
I made a decision, she had to be mine.
She turned to me and jumped all over me,
screaming she needed me!
I threw her off of me, I decided I better show off a little.
I don't wanna dame if it's that easy.
Now what do dames like?
That's right, they like real men!
Men who drink!
Men who smoke!
But I knew this dame had seen all the tricks before,
I mean at this point she already couldn't take her eyes off me.
I needed to do something no other dame loving man would do.
[cough, cough]
I knew I had her when she looked at me with those fawning eyes.
The dame was more in love with this dame loving man than any other dame had
been before this dame. I tried to push the dame away, but the dame insisted.
Dame.
Our lips were just about to meet when I remembered why I was there.
I was a man on a case, a murder case that is.
All the evidence was pointing towards the murderer being in this bar tonight,
but I guess I was just meant to fall in love tonight.
[gun cocks]
[gun shot]
You weren't looking for me by any chance, were you?
No... my love...
It can't be.
Dames can't be murderers...
No...
upper...
body...
strength!
Thank god, that guy was so annoying.