it was electrifying floor routine that
turned ucla gymnast star caitlyn ohashi
into a viral sensation i couldn't stop
watching your energy is contagious but
behind that smile is a legacy of pain it
was more like you don't look like a
gymnast you look like you swallowed a
pig you had coaches tell you that
it's just disgusting she was the victim
of fat shaming i couldn't accept myself
caitlyn scored better than simone biles
but while biles went on to win four
olympic gold medals why isn't she going
to the olympics again there was a time
where i was on top of the world
i was unbeatable until i wasn't oh that
was horrible i am now known as the coach
of caitlyn ohashi i was in the fight for
my life i had so much hate in me and i
was trying to rebel and take it out on
my new coaches here because i'm one of
the most decorated coaches i'm
relentless mean basically and i said to
her you get it i am hired to win one day
caitlyn looked me in the eye and said
i hate myself winners make adjustments
and losers make excuses i was told that
it was embarrassing
how big i become
i was
compared to a bird that couldn't fly
these are all things that when i was
skinny i was told so what would they
think of me when
i had become
big
i couldn't
accept myself gymnastics was my worth it
was
my life
i
hated myself
it's a lot of pressure just because you
can never escape it so you go into the
gym and you hear all about how big you
look and then you go on social media and
you hear from people that are following
you so you don't really ever escape it
and then even when you look in the
mirror because you've heard it so much
you start believing it
it was more like don't eat
you look like an elephant you look like
you swallowed a pig you had coaches tell
you that
um yeah i did
the athletic director calls me in her
office
and says we're going to make a change
with our head coach and we would like
for you to be the new head coach
i don't know the first thing about
gymnastics
i'm like can i get any more she goes no
just go figure it out
how am i supposed to lead one of the
premier programs in the country
i did what i thought was the very very
smart thing to do
in my mind
a coach was tough talking relentless
snarky at times no gray area black and
white
mean basically
so i learned to say things like winners
make adjustments and losers make excuses
when i came out here it was really hard
because i had so much hate still left in
me and i was trying to like rebel and
take it out on my new coaches here
and i will never forget
a team meeting we had halfway through
her freshman season
and caitlyn very clearly
and unapologetically said
i just don't want to be great again
i felt like i got sucker punched
my first thought was
then why the heck am i going to honor
your scholarship
one day caitlyn looked me in the eye and
said
miss val i just want you to know
everything you tell me to do i do the
exact opposite
the year before we had finished second
by half of a tenth
the year i took over
we came in dead last
i realized at that time i was not cut
out for this job
[Music]
i'm walking through ackerman union on my
way to resign and i come across coach
wooden's book on leadership
his book opened up
magically
to his definition of success
and it said success is peace of mind in
knowing you've done your best
coach wooden was hailed as the greatest
coach that ever lived i am a coach i am
hired to win
and i read his definition again and
again and again
and when i read it the word you got
bigger and bolder success is peace of
mind and knowing you have done
your best
and i had the biggest aha moment of my
life
i had been trying to be somebody else
[Music]
and at that moment
i realized
whenever you try to be somebody else you
will always be a second rate them
the worst part about it is it prevents
you from being
a first-rate you
i scrapped everything that i had done i
scrapped all those stupid coaching quips
and i just became me
when caitlyn came to ucla she was broken
in body mind and spirit
she had grown up in a stereotypical very
high level athletic world
and she was damaged
she was like when was the last time
you have
been happy in the sport i was like i
honestly don't remember it was probably
when i was 11 years old before i ever
turned elite
caitlyn didn't hate gymnastics
caitlyn hated everything associated with
being great
caitlyn didn't want to be a winner
because winning at all cost
had cost her her joy
so i embarked on the painfully slow
process of building trust
and proving to her that first and
foremost i cared about her as a whole
human being
this is what
togetherness bond the fibers of the
trampoline this is brewing family right
and what happens with bruin family we
trust each other
right it's about trust
it's about enthusiasm it's about passion
for everything we do it's about the fact
that we're all very unique but we all
bring different stages to this fiber
right
part of my strategy was to only talk to
caitlin about gymnastics in the gym
outside of the gym we talked about
everything else school boys families
friends
one thing that i've carried through
in all of my coaching and teaching to
help people feel good about what they
are and who they are
and
feel great about the fact that they're
not a stereotype and whoa that is so
cool that you're so unique
unique is so much more fun than status
quo
i start with i'm going to help you
become the best person that you can be
and i'm going to help you become a
champion in life big big big set area it
took
me finding miss val and ucla and having
a different goal and path to follow to
finally
find joy and love within the sport again
we finally had to go through and build
this trust between each other because
that's the first time i've ever felt a
connection with a coach that strong
my mom wasn't exactly happy when i
quit early gymnastics and wanted to go
to college
because i asked her why she had like a
change in her heart
and she said i see how happy my daughter
is
and that's all it took to
to feel like a person again
leaving the sport feeling untouched by
it
at the end of the day i think
this should have been my path
i haven't been able to feel
this type of happiness
in a long time
[Music]
it's my joy
my voice myself
and my love for the sport
it's not the outcome it's not me
standing on a podium with medals it's
me being able to walk out with a smile
on my face and truly
being like happy with myself
that's first
i don't remember the faces of my
biological mom and father i can see
their figures but i don't even remember
what they look like
they were the only people who
believed in me because of my vitiligo a
skin condition that caused patches of my
skin to turn white
and in my village
because of this they thought that i was
the devil's child