Have you ever spent time around a narcissist and found yourself
apologizing over and over and over again because you said or did something that made the
narcissist feel bad, even if it was something that needed to be said or done,
well
we call that narcissistic injury and just to give you a more specific definition of that,
narcissistic injury is a term that we use to describe basically any sort of threat or perceived threat to the narcissist's ego or
perception of him or herself.
You have to remember that a person with narcissistic personality disorder or any toxic level of narcissistic tendencies,
you're going to see a real distorted sense of self-importance as well as a sense of entitlement and a huge sense of superiority.
When you risk the
narcissist's image of
him or herself, when you risk the narcissist's ability to continue to see the false self, the sense of superiority, to
continue to feel the sense of entitlement, to continue to think they're better than other people,
well, that's when you're gonna cause narcissistic injury. So today at QueenBeeing.com,
I'm gonna share with you 21 things that narcissists say during narcissistic injury
and I'm gonna translate them for you into regular human English so that you can know what they really mean.
So let's get started. (Closed captioning provided by Athena Moberg and CPTSDfoundation.org).
My name is Angie Atkinson and on this channel, I offer free, daily video coaching to help you discover, understand and overcome
narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships. I like to call it toxic relationship rehab.
So if that sounds good to you, hit that Subscribe button, and let's get going. Let's just jump right into it,
shall we?. Number one; You're crazy. It's all in your head. You need to see a psychologist.
Translation; I need you to doubt yourself, your perception and your reality,so I can more effectively manipulate you and make you do what I
want. Sound good. Number two; I never said that; you heard wrong or you misunderstood me or that never happened. Translation;
I will change the reality in any given moment and you better go along with it or you're in big trouble.
Number three; I don't understand. What you're saying makes absolutely no sense. I don't know what you're talking about. Translation;
I'm pretending that I can't understand you so that I don't have to respond to you in a logical fashion.
Number four; that's not what I meant. I'm sorry that's how you feel.Translation;
I'm pretending that I don't care or that I'm sorry by using words to manipulate you and invalidate you. Ever so subtly. Number five;
I can't remember what happened. Translation;
I'm perfectly aware of what happened, but I'm hoping that if I pretend I don't remember, you won't remember either. Number six;
Stop attacking me. Why are you always attacking me?. Translation; Stop holding me accountable for my actions.
Why are you always holding me accountable for stuff that I do. Number seven;I didn't hurt you, you hurt yourself.
Well, maybe you deserved it. Translation;
I so lack empathy for you that I literally believed that your effort to stand up for yourself or whatever caused my
narcissistic injury in this moment, forced me to abuse you in some way.
I think you deserved it because you didn't do what I wanted you to do and if you try to fight me on this one,
you're in big trouble. Number eight; I don't like talking about my past.
Translation; I have carefully crafted the image that I'm showing you and or the rest of the world in this moment
and if I talk about my past this image might be proven false. How am I supposed to keep up my false self
if I talked about the person I really am or the person I used to be. Number nine; that's in the past.
What do you mean 15 minutes ago is the past. Hey, why can't we just forget the past?.
Translation; I don't understand why you won't get over the fact that I'm actively abusing you.
I mean the last incident was a whole 15 minutes ago. That's literally in the past, isn't it?,
how come you're not all happy-go-lucky yet?, and why do you keep asking me to be accountable for things that I have actually done?
Number ten; Why do you keep talking about whatever you're interested in? This is boring,
don't you have anything else to say, like something interesting?, Like I don't know, me. Translation;
I don't care about whatever it is that you're talking about
and even if I really do care about that thing,
I'm just gonna go ahead and pretend that you're boring and stupid so that you feel invalidated,
and by the way, when are we getting back to me?, the conversation is supposed to be all about me, right?.
Number eleven; There is something wrong with the way that you think. You are delusional.
Translation; I don't like it when you call me out on my BS. You're a little bit too aware of this stuff.
I'm gonna need you to go ahead and start doubting yourself and your judgement and fast. Number twelve;
How dare you accuse me of lying?. I've always told you the truth, at least part of it. I never lie. Translation;
I've always told you what I wanted or needed you to believe in the moment, regardless of whether or not it's actually the truth.
Oh and don't question me on that, because if you do you know what happens, it's big trouble, right?. We're on the same page here.
Okay, okay. Number thirteen; I can't help it that I'm like that. I just need someone to love me for me. Take it or leave it.
Translation; Yep, I'm aware I'm a total douche,
I really am, but I'm gonna need you to go on ahead and overlook that fact and just
act like I'm the most amazing person you've ever met, okay. Number fourteen; You never loved me. Translation;
I never loved you or maybe I'm just bored and I kind of can't remember that I
apparently once had feelings for you,
but either way
I'm gonna blame it all on you and you act completely
injured because I've suddenly discovered that I'm kind of over this whole me and you thing.
Alright, number 15; If you've loved me you would understand.
Translation; I'm gonna go ahead and try to make you feel guilty for expecting me to take responsibility,
to tell the truth about what happened or be honest or anything like that.
See,
I figure if I can use your love for me against you, you might feel too bad to actually force me to explain myself
or take responsibility for anything I've done wrong and that's really how I prefer that we keep it. Number 16;
You are never happy. Translation;
Why can't you just accept all of my abuse and just be happy about it already?.
Number 17; You were twisting my words or you're putting words in my mouth, because I never said that. Translation
I twist your words all the time,
so I'm totally familiar with that tactic and yes, I did really say that, but I don't want to admit it,
so I'm just gonna go ahead and deny it and get all butthurt about it and feel offended and stuff, because this way you'll end
up apologizing to me and you know that's my favorite thing, right?. Number eighteen;You were never there for me. Translation;
I'm never there for you,
but you're damn well better be there for me, at my beck and call, without question, without error or else... Number nineteen; Every partner
I've been with has been crazy, but you are the worst.
Translation; I've driven every partner I've ever had to the brink of insanity, right to the edge
and sure I've said this exact same line to every single one of y'all, but since you're the one standing in front of me
right now, you're obviously the one I'm going to attack, naturally,
who else would I accuse of being crazy, but you I'm obviously attempting to distract you from the actual issue here
and I'm clearly trying to reinforce all the gaslighting I've done up to this point. Are you doubting your sanity yet?.
Well, are you punk?. Number twenty; I can't handle this.
Translation; I don't want to deal with this right now, so I'm gonna go ahead and play a little narcissistic injury on you.
Oh, okay, poor emotionally devastated me. How dare you ask me to be responsible for what I've done?,
don't you know who I am. Number twenty one; I'm innocent, I've done nothing wrong. I had no idea this would hurt you.
Translation; Yep, I'm guilty. I did the things you're accusing me of doing. I totally knew it would hurt you,
but I did it anyway, because I really don't care how you feel. You remember I have no empathy, right?.
Especially not for you, my primary source of supply.
I want you to hurry up and stop reminding me of that fact and just start believing my straight up lies,
okay. I'm gonna go ahead and pretend like I'm really, really hurt, because I need you to get off my back.
Bonus: Number twenty two; I hate drama.
You create a world of drama around everything. Translation; Drama is my very favorite thing, I love it.
I mean, it's a huge form of narcissistic supply. I create drama around everything and
you play right into it. That makes me so happy.
Oh, because then I get to blame you for all the drama in my life. I
mean drama is so much fun. Well, translating narcissist might seem like a lot of fun and it can be, trust me,
but it also offers you some insight into the way that they think. So the next time you find yourself
dealing with a narcissist, who is the injured narcissist, someone who's going through
narcissistic injury, be aware of these translations and understand better what they're talking about. What do you think?
This brings me to the question of the day
and the question of the day is; Could you relate to the items on this list?,
and if so, which ones and what would you add?. Share your thoughts, share your ideas,
share your experiences in the comments section below and let's talk about it.
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