Okay, hi sorry for the odd background.
I'm actually sitting on the floor next to my son's Pickler ladder.
But anyways today I wanted to talk about...
kind of... I guess I'm feeling like stuck or just not really sure what to do.
I'm not sure what to call myself.
Okay, let me explain the reason.
So right now I'm kind of a half stay-at-home mom, half working mom
and the reason I say half and half is because I kind of feel conflicted.
So I stay at home during the day with my son.
So that means well, really..
Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, I'm home all day. I do not work.
Then Tuesday through Friday
I'm at home all day until about...
4:30... 4:00/4:30.
Then I work at night Tuesday through Friday.
So really during the day I feel like a stay-at-home mom because I'm there all day.
You know, like most stay-at-home moms.
But then I work in the evenings,
so I feel kind of weird because most working moms
typically work a regular 9-to-5 type of job.
So they're gone during the day.
So I kind of feel a little bit different.
I don't know. I guess I just want to kind of talk more about like mental health issues
related to parenthood whether its mother, father, other parent.
I just want to kind you talk about that.
So this is one of the things I wanted to discuss. It's kind of that...
conflicted, I don't really know what you call it that feeling of
not knowing what to call myself or how I should feel because
I don't really identify with either the stay-at-home moms or the working moms
because like I said, most of my friends who are working moms are gone during the day.
So, you know their kids are in school or they're in daycare, nanny, whatever.
So I don't have that, I'm there during the day.
So I don't like... I'm not able to hang out with many of them
because they're only home at night or on the weekends
and usually the weekends I'm with family like my wife.
But then again...
the stay-at-home moms they're... I don't know, I don't really identify with them either.
Just because they stay at home all day and then you know
they have like... they're not gone for work.
I mean, I'm doing part-time. So I'm only gone part of the week
plus whatever you know transportation time is.
But I don't know right now I just feel like... I don't know.
Sometimes it almost makes me
feel like I have double the work because I feel like I'm a stay-at-home mom
and I have all those expectations of trying to be there.
Take care of my kid, you know do the cleaning do everything that a stay-at-home mom does
but at the same time, I'm a working mom, so
So... I don't know, sometimes I just
feel like I wish I could just either be a working mom,
which I don't want to, or the only a stay-at-home mom.
But I can't do that.
You know right now,
my wife's job... and probably never her job will be sufficient enough
for the two of us to support our family's need and our lifestyle.
You know if we took out a lot of stuff...
mm... might be able.... probably still not just because of school debt, car loans...
Okay, sorry.
If I look a little bit different and cut off
it's because I was filming on my big DSLR camera, this one
And for some reason the SD memory card just keeps getting screwed up it kept cutting off
I don't know why I'm trying to reformat it like again, whatever
So, I'm sorry, but I've had to refilm this part like three different times as it kept cutting out
So anyways, like I said, we're not able to afford
You know on one income of a mortgage schoolhouse all of that stuff just everything we cannot afford that but you know
I mean really what I would love to do is
I guess just pick one of those lives because I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of you know
Am I working mom? Am I stay at home?
it just I
Don't know my dream would be to stay at home do YouTube that sort of thing, you know work from home
I mean it doesn't have to be Youtube, but just something where I could work from home,
that I could make enough income so I could do that.
You know, like work random hours when I can that sort of thing
and take care of my child and my house and you know my wife and everything.
Just I don't know. I want to discuss that this because of mental health issues me and
just kind of all the dilemmas that I'm having. I don't know what to do.
I mean, maybe some of you are in a similar situation, you have the same issue as me.
You're working at night. So you kind of feel like a stay-at-home mom, but you're not.
I don't know, like what is your solution?
How do you like mentally handle that feeling like you have double the work?
You know double the the jobs like I never get a break.
I just feel like I'm supposed to do everything
I'm home all day and then I don't really have like a night rest, you know, like typically, you know
if you work all day you come home, you know,
take care of your kids do whatever you need to do with your kids
and then they go to sleep and then you can maybe have an hour
you know work that you need to do and then you get to rest, you know and then go to sleep.
Whereas, you know, I'm working 5:30 to...
you know, sometimes just depending on the night anywhere from
9:00p.... let's see, Tuesday it's 5:30 to...
11:00, 5:30 to 10:30, 5:30 to 9:00, and 6:00 to midnight.
So I don't have like an evening off because I work so late.
Then I'm really tired in the morning and I'm living...
pretty much I'm just living off of caffeine, which is a really bad habit,
and I can't break that habit.
So.... okay, I am just babbling. So anyways, that's what I wanted to talk about.
Like I said, I write stay-at-home mom and my working mom?
Yeah, is there something that you have that you do?
Should I have to pick one or I don't know. How do I find a balance?
Maybe I don't... I don't know, I'm just asking for help.
I wanted to just talk about like I said mental health issues that sort of thing with you all
related to parenthood. Doesn't have to specifically a mother or father.
You can be a guardian whatever you are.
You know however you take care of your children.
So let me know!
Again, I'm sorry for like the weird cutoff and
like moving and all the different perspectives and like whatever, the camera thing.
But one more thing that I have to figure out right now.
Like it is 10:00 at night on a Sunday and
I have family here and...
my mother-in-law and my father-in-law and my wife are all out at the bar right now and I'm staying at home.
Which is perfectly fine. I didn't want to go to anyways, but again,
it's like I'm working on a Sunday evening
just trying to get this YouTube going. Okay, I'm gonna shut up.
So let me know what your answer is to that question. Okay?
All right good talking with you.
And again, let me know other mental health issues and ideas anything related to parenthood.
I have a few ideas myself that I'm gonna you in this series.
but let me know what questions you have.
What comments, issues, or whatever and I will talk about it.
So I'm more than willing to be open..... mostly.
Okay. See you in the next video. Bye.