This "Black Panther" character needs no introduction.
And by that, we actually mean he doesn't really need to be in the films at all.
"Black Panther: Wakanda Forever" clocks in at 2 hours and 41 minutes.
As lengthy as that may be, it's not hard to understand why.
This movie is shouldering so many burdens that it's a wonder they crammed it all into
a single movie: "Wakanda Forever" is mourning T'Challa, honoring the memory of Chadwick
Boseman, presenting a way forward without Wakanda's king, giving an ensemble cast of
characters room to breathe and doing all of that while introducing an entirely new nation
of superpowered people.
That's a lot of material!
Maybe even enough to fill two movies!
So you know what this movie absolutely does not have time for?
Updating its audience on the marital status of some random CIA Agent.
If no one else is gonna say it, then we will: Agent Everett Ross is the most egregious diversity
hire of our time.
While we love Martin Freeman and very much like the idea of him as a snarky CIA agent
in a Marvel movie, we're thoroughly exhausted by his existence in the "Black Panther" franchise.
Once again, an excursion to Wakanda — the MCU's high-tech African nation that presents
a rare opportunity for Black voices to lead a comic book movie — is repeatedly interrupted
by the presence of the world's most boring secret agent.
"That can't be good."
Okoye's "favorite colonizer" is back and more useless than ever: taking up space, wasting
precious screen time, and barely contributing to the plot.
As /Film's Chris Evangelista put it in his review of the film:
"Every time the film cuts back to Ross and his CIA antics, 'Wakanda Forever' grinds to
a halt so violently that you can practically see metal-on-metal sparks flying off the screen."
As a presence in 2018's "Black Panther," we only found Everett Ross mildly annoying.
Did we bristle when he dismissed Wakanda as a "third world country"?
Of course.
Did we smirk when he laid hands on T'Challa, prompting Okoye to plot his murder?
Duh.
"Did you think we would forget?"
But we came around!
Mostly because we like laughing and he inspired lots of jokes at his expense.
When he arrives on a stretcher and Shuri looks him over with glee, she utters one of the
movie's funniest lines:
"Great, another broken white boy for us to fix.
This is going to be fun."
There's also something wonderfully ironic about flipping the script with a "token white
guy."
Ross basically assumes the role that's far too often given to people of color in these
movies: playing second fiddle to the star.
Except, in his case, it's even funnier because he's hilariously inessential.
Ultimately it's Shuri, Okoye, M'Baku, and Nakia who ensure T'Challa's victory in "Black
Panther."
And while it's nice to have a guy on the inside in "Wakanda Forever," the rogue CIA Agent
is utterly unhelpful and needs Okoye to swoop in and rescue him by the movie's end.
All this is to say that we've had some good times, Everett Ross and us fans.
Every time they release a lineup of character posters for a Black Panther movie where Freeman
is the sole piece of wonder bread, it plays like a hilarious inside joke that only Marvel
Studios is unaware of.
But this walking gag has officially overstayed his welcome and if yeeting him out of the
entire MCU isn't an option, can we at least agree that he has no place in any future "Black
Panther" movie?
For the most part, he exists to dump exposition on us.
He directs Shuri and Okoye to Riri Williams — a task that a computer could handle — and
also informs them that the American government is turning against Wakanda.
Not to mention this seems intuitive based on everything that America has ever done.
"Eyes up.
Americans."
From there, jumping back to the CIA storyline just keeps us informed about how very unhappy
the global powers have become with Wakanda's control of vibranium.
But didn't we already know that?
Wasn't that successfully communicated by Ramonda's Geneva speech and the various attempts to
steal vibranium from Wakanda's outreach centers?
And then there's the simple fact that none of the CIA developments have any impact on
the story at hand.
They are, at best, a way to indicate the direction of Wakanda's global relations and at worst,
set up for whatever Marvel project will be grappling with Contessa Valentina Allegra
de la Fontaine after this.
Honestly, the fact that the global powers have motivation to attack Wakanda doesn't
even need this much setup.
In fact, Namor pretty much covers that at the end of the movie when he reminds Namora
that Wakanda has no allies on the surface world.
So basically, Ross' scenes could've been whittled down to a single encounter ... or removed
entirely.
"Wakanda Forever" is at its best when focused on powerful material: like centering the women
of Wakanda, mourning the loss of T'Challa, or grappling with Namor's vengeful nature.
You know what's neither powerful nor compelling?
A jogging session with Agent Ross.
It derails the movie, ruins its momentum, and makes an already ambitious storyline feel
way too overstuffed.
It's hard not to see his every moment of screen time as oxygen being sapped away from more
interesting characters.
"Are you finished?"