- Jenna, what was that?!
- Sorry, I--
- Sorry doesn't feed the bulldog!
- I have a cat.
- Cats are arrogant.
- Uh, Meredith.
- It's...
Coach!
- I think it's time we finally
address your anger management.
(whistle blowing)
- What's wrong with my anger management?
- It needs more management.
(screaming)
Now, when you're upset,
you should try, "I feel because," statements.
Like I feel sad because you didn't notice my haircut.
So, if Jenna misses a basket
instead of throwing something, what could you say?
- I feel bad because your parents
wasted 18 years on a piece of garbage like you?
- Let's try a different tactic.
I'm gonna show you a picture,
and you tell me how it makes you feel.
(screaming)
- Give it to me!
Sorry, it reminded me of my mom.
- How about word association?
Parent. - Mom.
- Egypt. - Mummy.
- Alien. - Mothership.
- Trees. - Mother nature.
- Rock. - Mom.
- Chair.
- Can we stop talking about my mom for two seconds?
We're never gonna get to the root of my issues this way.
(neck crack)
- Now let's try a little meditation,
it helped me get over my second divorce.
No, I think it was my first one.
Yeah, my first one.
Okay, breathe in through your nose.
And out through your mouth.
- Hey it's working, I don't wanna punch you right now.
- Shh, relax.
Concentrate on your breathing.
And when you're ready, release a sound.
Hummm.
- Mommm.
- Hummm.
- Mommm.
- Humm.
- Mom stop telling the neighbors
you think I have a metabolic disease!
- It's time we try a different approach.
This is unorthodox,
but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Have you ever been hypnotized?
- No, I guess I'll try it,
but if you make me cluck like a chicken you'll regret it.
- I want you to take a look at this watch.
- Are you even licensed--
- Now, you will be aware of your feelings.
From now on you will be introspective,
wiser, you will be more in touch.
(harp music)
- Where am I?
- You're in therapy heaven,
where your issues go to die.
- Whoa, are you a projected hallucination
of my neo frontal cortex?
- No, don't you recognize my voice?
I'm your inner child.
- Nuh-uh, you don't sound like my inner child.
I've met my inner child once.
This one time I ate--
- Ate something funny at Burning Man?
That wasn't your inner child,
that was Heidi Klum, you terrified her.
- Oh my God, I've gotta send an apology letter.
- Why have you come to me?
- Well, you see I've been really angry at the team lately.
Knocking stuff over, kicking stuff,
(laughing)
knocking more stuff over into more stuff,
into other stuff, and I just,
I think I've got issues, I don't know.
Can you help me?
- Of course.
I will give you full understanding of your subconscious.
From now on, you'll be in touch
with the root of your anger.
- Ommm...
Ommm...
I deserve love, and I am full of light.
Hey, I've got this!
Hustle, hustle, I wasn't allowed to cry as a child!
Move your feet,
I'm repeating unhealthy patterns that started in the home!
(whistle)
- So, tomorrow at 2 good for you, coach?
- I'll be there with bells and whistles.
And at least you'll be there, unlike my mom.
(grunts)
All right come on girls!