This game’s like a fungus.
It’s ugly and weird and gross and it’s probably for the best that you just leave
it alone…but after a while, it kind of grows on you.
And it…makes you hallucinate.
Either that, or I played this crap way longer than I should’ve.
It’s Cubix: Robots For Everyone: Race ’n Robots for the PlayStation.
So this game’s actually based on an animated series, called Cubix: Robots For Everyone.
It’s about robots, and the future.
And to be honest, that’s all I know about it.
I know more about the game, though.
It was developed by Blitz Games.
Which explains a lot, that was a pretty lousy studio.
They mostly did crappy licensed games.
Er go, Cubix: Robots For Everyone.
And by any objective measure, this is a crappy licensed game.
But I don’t know.
There’s also something about it that’s…actually kind of fun.
Maybe it’s the simple gameplay, maybe it’s the fungus, but I had a pretty decent time
with Race ’n Robots.
Despite all the reasons I shouldn’t have.
So obviously, this is a racing game.
And it’s got that old-school, top-down approach, which is a genre that’s kind of hard to
screw up.
So much so that, even when you screw it up, it’s still fun to play.
Case in point, Race ’n Robots.
You’ve got five robots to race, and you have nine tracks to race them in.
Sounds thin, right?
Yeah, not as thin as the camera.
Which has lost so much weight, it’s physically shaking.
Kind of sad, but…I’m even sadder for me.
I can’t even see what’s happening in my video game.
Actually, that camera is this game’s biggest problem.
There are times when it’s, like…it’s so far away from the course, you literally
can’t even see where you’re going.
Like, oh, the camera saw something interesting.
Some kind of roadside antique, or something.
Hey, how about doing the job you were made for, camera?
Either show the race, or get into weird Internet videos.
And trust me, you don’t want to do that.
That’s a…slippery slope.
Camera.
Fortunately, once you go Stevie Wonder on this b*tch and get used to driving blind,
there’s actually some fun to be had.
And what I like about it…is how simple it is.
All you have to do is steer with the analog stick, that’s it.
No buttons, no complex drifting mechanics.
I like that.
It’s old-school.
And again, once you get used to the terrible camera…this isn’t a bad top-down racing
game.
I mean, it’s not a good one, but…I mean, you can shoot people.
The game throws in lots of stuff, to keep things interesting.
There are hazards all over the course.
The classics…like oil slicks, giant holes, things like that.
As well as, you know, huge steam-powered hammers.
Like any highway system.
And there’s power-ups, too.
Rockets, mines…a typical arsenal.
So the game’s got a little bit of that Mario Kart feel, too.
Only sometimes, it’s like playing Mario Kart with the TV off.
Freaking camera.
Anyway, there’s really not much to this game.
The main story mode only has the nine tracks.
And there are modes for individual races, and things like coin-collecting races…but
still, this is a pretty thin game.
And even when it does something cool.
Like between races, you can upgrade your robot by purchasing new parts.
But there’s not many to choose from, so eventually, you have them all anyway.
So…cool ideas, but not much content.
Especially for a game released in 2001.
The bottom line is, this just isn’t a very good game.
The camera is abysmal, the racing is repetitive, there’s not much content at all…and yet,
you can still have some fun with it.
It’s probably best suited for fans of the show, but…even if you just like top-down
racers, you might find something to like about Cubix:
Robots For Everyone: Race ’n Robots for the PlayStation.
Thanks to our pal Kris from Jersey City, New Jersey, for sending it in.