Mark: So, what's your, uh what's your star sign?
Jermia: A Sagittarius. Yours?
Mark: Cancer.
Jermia: Cool. So, uh, you like stuff?
Why are silences awkward?
Why is there discomfort when two people stop talking and just relax?
Hey, it's Mark here from Make Him Yours and today, I'm showing you how to bust awkward
silences on your date scene.
Never have to worry about them again.
Don't forget to download the first chapter of my book from the description below.
Hit the subscribe button with a little bell and I'll see you right after this.
[Music]
Awkward silences used to be the bane of my existence, I was terrified of them,
whether it was on the phone, at a party or at worst on a date.
I hated the idea of the conversation dropping to nothing.
Now, it's not something I've worried about in many, many years.
Today, I want to show you how I did that and you'll see throughout the video I referenced
my conversational hack A, B, C, D, E, F, and we go to that in some of the strategies.
I'll pop the link to that video in the description as well.
So if you see A, B, C, D, E, F, that's what I'm referring to.
Now, very quickly before we start, why are they awkward?
Well, it's because when you're in a position where there is physical closeness but perceived
distance, emotional distance, it creates that feeling of awkwardness.
It's like the opposite of good flirting.
With good flirting, you feel close, but the logical mind pushes you apart.
In awkward silences, you're logically close.
You're either on the phone or you're sitting across from each other on a date, but you
feel miles apart.
That's where that awkwardness comes from.
And now, I'm going to show you how to kill it.
Number one, move next to him.
When you're sitting face to face, your creating an interview style atmosphere with a lot of
closeness.
This is why strangers say on a bus can sit right next to each other and have no worries.
But if you sit them across from each other, it's much more awkward, especially if the
distance is close.
So take away some of that close physical distance by moving next to the guy.
Mark: So what's your, sorry, what's your star sign?
Jermia: I'm a Sagittarius. And you?
Mark: Cancer.
Jermia: Cool. Gosh, the Sunny Coast is so beautiful. Look at that.
Jermia: Could you ever imagine living in a place like this?
Number two is the knowing stare.
So if you're feeling more confident than knowing stare is a great way to turn an awkward into
a comfortable one.
Mark: So what's your, uh, what's your star sign?
Jermia: Ah, Sagittarius. Yours?
Mark: Cancer.
Jermia: Cool.
As the conversation drops, place your eyes on your date.
Wait for him to catch them and smile when he does.
If he smiles back, you've now created a comfortable silence.
If not, and he goes awkward.
That's fine too.
Just go back to ABCDEF
Jermia: So tell me more about this charity work you've been doing.
Number three, make fun of the silence.
So this is another verbal strategy that's really effective.
Just make a joke about it.
Mark: So what's your uh, what's your star sign?
Jermia: I'm a Sagittarius. And you?
Mark: Cancer.
Jermia: Cool.
Jermia: So do I break the silence or do you?
Mark: I guess you did now.
Jermia: Yes, I think so.
Jermia: Oh I have to tell you about this date that my friend went on the other week.
It was so bad.
Oh my God, it's so they went to the movies, right?
Number four, this is my favorite way to disarm an awkward silence.
I actually already told you.
Think about it, why a silence is awkward.
Why is there discomfort when two people stop talking and just relax?
When you address the elephant in the room, it stops becoming an elephant by talking about
the awkward silence, you actually dissolve it.
Mark: So, what's your star sign?
Jermia: Sagittarius. And you?
Mark: Cancer.
Jermia: Cool.
Jermia: I have a question for you.
Jermia: Why is it that we feel a need to fill the silence?
It's like when you just stop and relax and there silence, you just feel like you have
to fill it.
Mark: I don't know. Never really thought about it.
Jermia: Yeah, it's weird, right?
Jermia: Like they feel like they have to fill the silence even though they don't really want to.
Mark: Yeah, I mean sometimes you're actually most comfortable with the people
that you're fine being silent with.
Jermia: Yeah. Right? Okay, I have a question for you.
Jermia: When is a time when you've opened your mouth to fill the silence and it's just gone horribly
wrong when you should've just stayed silent?
Well, that's the video.
As you can see, there's a both verbal and nonverbal ways to handle it.
It's actually a lot of fun.
And the more dates you go on, the more you get used to doing this and utilizing ABCDEF.
You'll have no problems at all worrying about awkward silences.
So download the first chapter of my book.
It's in the description below.
Leave your comments, leave your thoughts, comment, questions all in the space below.
Hit the subscribe button with the bell and the thumbs up, and I'll see you in the next
video very soon.
[Showing bloopers]