- It's the question that everyone asks themselves
when they first experience Depersonalization.
Am I going crazy?
Hey, everyone, I'm Shaun O'Connor,
author of The Depersonalization Manual.
I suffered with chronic Depersonalization
for two years before I recovered completely
and in the more than 10 years since,
I've helped thousands of people around the world to recover
with my book, The Depersonalization Manual.
And today I'm going to show you the three reasons why
even with intense Depersonalization, you're not going crazy.
Let's get started.
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The fear of going crazy
is super common with Depersonalization.
Your mind is filled with racing thoughts,
intense self-analysis and weird existential fears.
Thoughts that usually perfectly normal and everyday
can seem suddenly bizarre.
You might feel like there's something
very wrong with your brain.
Back when I had Depersonalization,
I was constantly having thoughts that I was going crazy.
For example, I'd look at my dog
and instead of feeling happy or comforted,
I'd start to wonder how such an animal could possibly exist.
What was it thinking, what was its consciousness like?
I'd have philosophical existential thoughts
about things like the size of the universe
and that would terrify me.
These kind of thoughts would hit me over and over
hundreds of times a day.
It took the joy out of everything.
It was unbearable.
I was absolutely terrified that I was going crazy,
that I was developing psychosis or schizophrenia.
I really believed that eventually I'd go completely insane
and I'd have to spend my life in a mental hospital.
This fear is incredibly common
with Depersonalization sufferers.
So before we go any further, here's the good news:
You are absolutely not going crazy, insane
or anything even remotely like that.
And I'm about to tell you why in three simple steps.
Number One: Depersonalization is a defense mechanism.
The feelings of Depersonalization can be really scary.
I mean really scary.
When you think horrible thoughts like reality isn't real
or you're living in a dream, well that can be terrifying.
It almost feels like you're under attack from your own mind.
But what if I told you
that you're definitely not under attack.
In fact what you're feeling and thinking
is part of your body and brain's natural defense mechanism.
That's right - Depersonalization is a defense mechanism
that kicks in at times of trauma.
This may have happened because of drugs,
violence, a car accident, et cetera,
but it doesn't matter what caused it.
The end result is exactly the same.
The feelings of being cut off from the world
like you're in a dream, et cetera,
are your brain's way of protecting you
from what it thinks is a dangerous situation.
This happens to people briefly all the time.
According to the National Alliance On Mental Illness,
it's estimated that up to 75% of people
will experience at least one Depersonalization episode
in their lives.
But unfortunately for an unlucky few like myself
and according to the Guardian newspaper, one in 50 others,
it can last longer and become Depersonalization Disorder.
But DP is still recognized in the medical community
as a natural reaction to trauma
so no matter how long you've had it,
it's still your brain's defensive mechanism.
And the simple fact is that
a defensive mechanism is there to keep you safe.
It's never going to make you go crazy.
In fact, worrying that DP is going to make you go crazy
is like worrying that a fire alarm is going to start a fire.
Number two, Depersonalization is often interpreted
as something it's not.
The feelings of Depersonalization
are designed to help you through trauma.
Think of them like an airbag for your mind.
Now, typically the feelings fade away naturally
once you're away from the traumatic situation,
but if you continue to experience Depersonalization
into your normal daily life as happens with many people,
well then it becomes a problem.
Because if you're sitting in your kitchen
and experiencing unexplained feelings
of detachment and unfamiliarity,
that of course makes the anxiety worse
which makes your brain turn up the Depersonalization
even more to protect itself.
So you're sitting in your kitchen
and suddenly your mind feels out of control,
having all sorts of weird existential thoughts.
Well what's the first thing you would think?
You must be going crazy, right?
I thought the same thing.
Believe me, everyone who gets Depersonalization
at some point thinks that same thing!
But you're not going crazy.
Yes, it's a strange and sometimes
very frightening experience, but it can't hurt you.
You're 100% safe.
Number Three, Reality Testing.
Okay, so here's the most important part of all of this.
Depersonalization is not dangerous
and here's the scientific reason why.
Even when you're having the most intense,
frightening Depersonalization thoughts,
what's known as your Reality Testing remains intact.
This is vital.
In psychiatric terms, Reality Testing
is the objective evaluation of an emotion or thought
against real life.
What this basically means
is that even with the most frightening thoughts,
you're able to distinguish between the thoughts and reality.
In fact it's the knowing that the thoughts are so strange
that makes them so frightening.
You know that you shouldn't be having these strange thoughts
while you're trying to go about your day,
but no matter how frightening these thoughts can be,
during the Depersonalization or Derealization experiences,
reality testing remains intact.
Why?
Because again, Depersonalization
is just an anxiety-based condition.
And that's all it ever will be.
If anything, with Depersonalization,
your awareness of reality is too heightened
because of the fight or flight hyperawareness
that the anxiety causes.
Sure, there's lots of weird,
frightening existential thoughts,
but they don't mean anything.
They're temporary and they can't hurt you.
The most important thing to remember here is that all of it,
the anxiety, the Depersonalization,
the fear that you're going insane,
all of these things are nothing more
than your body's natural reaction
to what it perceives to be
a dangerous or traumatic situation.
You're absolutely, 100% not going crazy.
Understanding this was a huge step in my recovery
from Depersonalization and it will be in yours too.
And I understand -
It's a frightening experience.
I understand that more than anyone.
But just remember that you are safe
and you're not going crazy, insane
or anything even remotely like that.
Because ultimately, is Depersonalization dangerous
either mentally or physically?
No, of course not.
As scary as it can be,
Depersonalization is just your natural defense mechanism.
It's a protective habit of thought.
That's all.
It's not dangerous, it can't hurt you
and it certainly can't make you go crazy.
Thanks for watching, guys.
If you have any comments or questions,
just leave them in the comment section below
and I'll make sure to answer and help out.
Don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel
and if you found this video helpful,
please do like and share.
And one last thing, if you want tons more information
on Depersonalization recovery,
check out my website at dpmanual.com
where you'll find everything you need to know
including my complete guide to recovery,
The Depersonalization Manual.
Thanks for watching, guys.
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