hey guys so we just finished the end and
there's a there's a card game yeah and
this is good for the whole family so
it's not just couples you can get to
know that that brother that you can have
an awkward relationship with and I
wasn't talking about my family she
should when do you feel closest to me I
think when you get me to actually sleep
in bed with you and this morning I woke
up and turned and saw you next to me and
the fact that I wasn't freaking out that
there was another person in bed with me
was yeah because my weird sleep thing is
weird
we know that it's weird and letting you
in and putting that aside something that
I'm very serious about which is not
sleeping in the same bed as somebody I
think is when I feel closest to you and
also just like when we're just hanging
around the apartment and we don't filter
a single thing that we say no especially
with the sleep stuff like we've talked
about this extensively because we have
similar trauma that we dealt with like
completely completely opposite so I
cannot deal with being alone especially
when I'm asleep and you're the exact
opposite where when you're asleep if you
can't it's like the thought of being
near someone that repulses you almost so
I I think death the closest I feel
towards you is when I can see you like
moving away from that and acknowledging
like when I deeply need you to like
being the same bed as me because whether
I'm in pain or if not even like if
something's wrong if it's just like
retired like whatever that's something
that I feel incredibly close to you
because I think when we first met like
could it be Todd you couldn't even hug
yeah and I realized that and you so
please don't do that like put sheets
between us which is really courteous and
it's adorable I felt like I cuddle in my
sleep
I'm so desperately alone is it my turn I
think it's Reiter's your turn okay
ooh who has more power in the
relationship answer okay I think that
you have more power in our relationship
I think definitely because I don't think
you realize how deeply I need you in my
life and I don't think that I don't
think you need me as much as I need you
you know I think I know that you think
that you need me more than I need you
and I think that's just because I don't
show it as often which is something our
friends have picked up on - it comes
recently it's been really odd that the
way that our friends have commented on
us has really been effective
just like Kate's gonna die without you
and I'm like I'm gonna die without her
without her it makes me each other
it makes me curious as to what it is the
way that I act towards you or like the
way that we act towards each other when
we're around our friends because we do
act differently around each other when
there's no one there but that makes them
think that I'm more as like oh I'm more
in it with you than you're with me and
it's starting to get to me well it
shouldn't get to you though because you
know that it our whole relationship can
be defined in our sleep thing that I've
run away from affection and physical
contact and you run towards it and
because in person that's probably what
comes across to our friends they
probably see that and then think that
there's something more but I mean I
think I think that I show my affection
and I guess subtle ways and that's what
it is I think I think the more I think
about this now
obviously like we get jokes cons
but us being a couple about us being
lesbians like all that stuff like oh
like they're secretly dating for the
past two years she doesn't true
obviously but there is an element to the
fact that I am bisexual yeah and you are
straight and the way our friends comment
on like even if it's a joke like
obviously there's no malice in that and
I know that but it's little things like
okay it's so in love with Nadine like oh
of course Nadine can do that because
Kate's in love with her it's it's it
like cheapens this relationship to this
whole I'm this bye girl that's just like
waiting her time until her best friend
like realizes that she likes girls which
is so insulting to how I actually get
words I get that I think that also plays
into like the power dynamic thing that
we talked about yeah because if people
perceive you to be
yeah in love with we're both in love
with each other oh yeah but it's just
yeah yeah that's something that I pick
up on the image I guess yeah well screw
them yeah yeah how do our different
upbringings affect our relationship I
think our upbringings are different
because I come from a traditional Muslim
family they're very strict and I don't
know I think that my traditional
upbringing doesn't actually affect our
relationship as much as one would think
that it would because you understand you
understand when I need to bring a change
of clothes and when I'm not allowed to
wear a tank top and when we were friends
for a year when I still had to go home
at like 9:00 p.m. and you would buy my
cabs for me and so there was never a
time that it came between us and there
was never a time that I think that it
made us different I think the most
important part was my traditional
upbringing
caused me so much pain and then you've
seen so much pain too and so that's why
it kind of serves away the whole
traditional thing which also brings me
to the fact that you let me live in your
home without paying rent
do you know while that is in New York
City to just put my club you I put my
clothes in your closet my I have a
drawer you've given me a drawer and to
have all of that space in your room I
don't think I thank you enough for the
fact that I am living in your home
without paying rent do you realize that
yeah but it's not even it's silly that
you even say that because it's not even
a question it's still thank you it's
it's it it's in my room
there was no question I thank you for
being appreciative but it's silly for
you to even need the home that my
parents never gave me do you realize
that jeez
because you have and that's at home I
can't be myself I can't say what I think
otherwise I'll get berated and my
opinion doesn't matter I can't wear the
pajamas I want to wear which is still
crazy and I know that it seems like
really little things me getting out of
the house was really little it was very
small things that I wanted to be able to
do with freedom that I wasn't able to
and then you gave it to me you know and
we never we never actually talked about
this but I am so thankful so I just want
you to know that girl what is the pain
in me you would like to heal maybe cry I
want I would want to remove all the pain
that your family has inflicted on you
throughout your entire life I think that
yeah currently if your family wasn't an
element and the way it is right now and
the pain that that does cause you it
would it would help you immensely yeah
don't you almost think that that's the
best part about me we mean the best part
about you okay think of me without my
family I just be me I there would it
just been 18 yeah 18 look just just
Nadine what's that supposed to mean
come on part of my charm is all of that
[ __ ] don't you think no no that's what
makes me the most sad yeah that's in
terms of not even just like our
relationship just like being friends
with you and seeing you like the pain
that you go through with your family is
by far like this goes back to you having
to remind me that my pains not normal oh
my god that's that's fine right it's not
fine it's really not okay yeah it's
deeply not okay what pain would you take
away at me I really can't watch people
take from you without giving you
anything in return and so I watch you
just love and love and I think that I
was saying this the other day that you
just need somebody that will love you
and you're just exhausting yourself
really and I just I don't think that
you're told enough how beautiful you are
which is not even the first thing about
you that's just all I can say cuz you're
right in front of me ah and how smart
you are you are incredibly talented and
that's something that I think I want to
see you focus more on yourself because
you're giving to people that aren't
loving you back the way that you should
be
I'm gonna stand by you and tell you to
keep giving just because I'm an enabler
and we make port decisions and I think
that it's time that you love yourself
which is now going to be the advice that
I give you because if there is the pain
that I could heal in you it's that why
do you love me okay
I know you didn't write the question but
I love you because you were so strong
you were so phenomenally strong and
watching you go through what you've been
through especially this past year and
you think that you go through it because
of having me by your side but it really
is all you and yeah you're just you hit
all of the checkmarks you're smart and
you're funny and you're caring and
you're beautiful and you're selfless and
there's just not a bad thing that I can
say about you really the words like
words escape me when I tried yeah you're
out like yes you're beautiful you're
literally I was a poem about you so I'll
show I'll show you that I keep telling
you if you're everything literally
starts with the girl with the emerald
eyes and this will make no sense people
are gonna think that we're [ __ ] cake
we're not selling I don't even know what
to say I love you so deeply that I can't
even cry like it's not it's not a
checklist so what I just said was very
superficial but I'm telling you there's
this weird invisible electromagnetic
wave that just has is connected like in
Donnie Darko yeah that thing yeah I it's
obviously I can tell you the most
beautiful thing I've ever seen
and that you're easily the most
intelligent person I've met you know I
can list off your GPA all the honor
societies you're in the fact that as a
hobby you're getting your masters
Computers like without doing anything
you just took your mock trial team to
Nationals like you do these things as if
it's just like this casual thing oh I'm
gonna go to law school yeah you're gonna
go to law school oh I'm just gonna get
my masters like look like you are the
most phenomenal person I have ever met
and the fact that I get to share my life
with you is a blessing and I just AM
still confused as to how this even
happened I still don't have the answer
to that yeah I guess we're just lucky
we're extremely like I am the luckiest
girl in the world to have you in my life
I guess we're just best friend that's
why I love you
hey guys thanks for watching if you
enjoyed this video please help us make
more by supporting us on patreon
the skin-deep that come slash patreon
the link is also in the description
thank you very much