Why do you really want a relationship? You might be hopelessly single and desperate for a relationship
right now, but have you ever pondered why you actually really want a relationship?
Welcome to The SCG Show! This video is officially sponsored by BetterHelp get
10% off your first month in the description below
I was inspired to create this video after receiving an email from a subscriber of
mine, who is desperately single and really wants a relationship...
"Dear SCG, I've been single for almost a year now and I cannot take it any longer. Everybody I
know is in a relationship married or has kids and here I am desperately single and miserable. I date
occasionally, I sometimes go on the dating apps too, and it's always the wrong person, we're not a good
match. I just want to feel in love again. I'm going to weddings all alone and so many other events
as well. I feel like such a loner, I feel so left out, I absolutely hate it... I can't take it anymore
I must take photos for my social media at different places with just myself or maybe
my friends. I really want a relationship but nothing is working. Help!" As much as life can
be better being in a relationship with the right healthy and compatible partner. I believe it's got
to be for the right reasons. Whilst the subscriber who emailed has good intentions unfortunately some
of the reasons they wanted a relationship were rather superficial. I made that mistake myself... I'd
convinced myself "I just need a girlfriend" so what did I do? I attracted a narcissist and had a toxic
relationship which ruined my life for several years as a result. I wanted a relationship, I wanted
a partne,r I wanted something serious... I got exactly what I wanted and asked for... but nevertheless it
turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. There are wrong reasons to want a
relationship and to want to be with somebody... don't make that mistake here are those wrong reasons
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The fear of being alone can lead people to enter relationships for the wrong reasons... resulting in
an unhealthy dependency on their partner... if you genuinely are feeling afraid of being
alone and single and that is your driving force for wanting a relationship, well you're setting
yourself up for pain and suffering. Benny never had a relationship in his life, the
odd fling here and there, the odd one night stand but no girl loved him... well into his late twenties
All he wanted was a woman to love grow with and have a relationship with
"I really want a relationship" he would say to friends and family... sounding like a broken record
And one day at a party he met a slightly older woman who liked him, she asked him out, asked him
to be official down the line, asked him how to act and behave... he was a deer in headlights and
hooked. "Finally a woman who actually wants to be with me" he said... but this woman was bad news
She was divorced after cheating on her husband multiple times, a spoilt princess entitled and rude
She wanted Benny to be her lap dog for attention... gifts... a rebound and more... but he was just grateful
to finally have a girlfriend a relationship and ignored the red flags staring him in the face. "I'm
terrified of being alone again" he told others "she can do whatever she wants." So she cheated on him,
lied to him countless times, wasted his time and life... she emotionally sucked the life out of him
and she eventually left him for another man to repeat the toxic cycle all over again. Benny was
better off being alone than with the wrong person... in particular this woman. If you're afraid of being
alone that is the wrong motivation and drive to have, if you are really wanting a relationship
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channel by becoming an official member! The link for memberships is in the description down below
Some people enter relationships to feel validated, accepted and to boost their self-esteem... that's
never healthy. Hannah was an attractive smart wonderful woman, but she was unlucky in love, she
had partners and boyfriend,s but never something really serious... all her friends were engaged or
married and she was always the bridesmaid never the bride. She'd sit there at lavish weddings
fantasizing what she wanted, how she wanted it and just so she could feel and be like one of
the girls. Through her desperation to be accepted she met a random guy on a dating app who just so
happened to be in the same local area... but in two weeks they were dating, six months living
together, nine months, engaged, 18 months they were married! It happened so fast, she spent personally
a fortune on her lavish wedding to a man she hardly knew. As her and her now husband boarded
the plane for their honeymoon suddenly he was distant and silent and it made her uncomfortable
Then the first day in the lavish resort he proceeded to admit the following
"Truthfully I got swept up in the whole wedding thing that I never knew how to bring this up... and
after the wedding I realized I don't like you. I don't love you and I don't want this."
He was also a drug dealer and had a very serious criminal record
Two weeks after their lavish wedding they separated and split and got divorced a year later
Easily one of the shortest marriages you would ever hear about, all because Hannah
originally felt left out, unaccepted, because she wanted validation from other people, friends and
maybe even family too. Never want a relationship because ultimately you have fomo... the fear of
missing out and that you seek validation. Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this video!
I personally used BetterHelp have found it to be so effective to turning my life around for the better
BetterHelp is therapy online which offers weekly sessions via phone video and live chat
You get matched to the therapist according to where you are, what you're looking for
and what you need help with... if it's not a great fit you can switch therapists easily
Therapy is a great way to take care of ourselves mentally, just like we try to do so physically
through diet and exercise. Online therapy can teach you valuable life coping skills and support you
amazingly when tough times occur. Click the link below or visit betterhelp.com/scgshow
for 10% off your first month of online therapy today. Go ahead and take that first step to turning
your life around with BetterHelp! Societal expectations and pressure from friends
and family can push people into relationships they may not genuinely want or are ready for
Christian was of Mediterranean descent... in his culture not being married or having a
girlfriend is seen as really bad, especially to someone who is not of the same descent as him... he
was cool with it, relaxed, he said to himself "When the right girl comes along it will all be fine" but his
parents and family had other ideas. They disagreed, they told him "You need to settle down! You need to
have a wife! You must have a family! You need to get married ASAP!" Christian had poor boundaries
with his family so he'd bow to their every request and agreed to whatever they asked....his parents set
him up with one of their friend's daughter, as a result he wasn't very keen... they never got along,
they weren't a good match... but the family almost bullied the pair of them to date and get engaged
within a year of meeting each other! Next thing you know Christian and this girl were married, again
for a lavish wedding to appease the family "Well at least my parents are happy" he said to himself
His partner actually felt the same, it was forced and really unnatural. Long story short they
grew to hate each other and live together in a miserable house, trying to pretend they were happy
It was all a charade, it was all an act, it was all a fake image, and a lie. Christian finally
had enough walked away and divorced his partner and stood up to his family and the unnecessary
pressure they put him under and he refused to never listen to them again. Social pressure like
that is extremely toxic and never a good reason to want a relationship or pursue one as well
I personally believe the right and healthiest reason to really want a relationship with
somebody is so you can have a deep meaningful connection with another person. As I mentioned
I wanted a relationship in the past but for superficial reasons and where did that get me?
Miserable, mistreated, disrespected, totally unhappy, but after doing a hell of a lot of work on myself
going through a lot of trauma too, I recognized and realized what I really wanted and why I
really wanted it. The last time I was single was for around a year I was determined to not
rush anything or choose the wrong person. I took my time, I was really selective more open-minded
and way more patient. Sure enough when I met my now current girlfriend who I've dated for a year
I instantly felt a special connection... it was after our first date something clicked... it was unique
I never had something like that before... I wanted that all along and I found it
after looking for all of my life! That should be the
reason to want a relationship, to have that connection that has real meaning behind it
Which will be the very foundation for your future together as a couple and be the catalyst
for your personal transformation into a better person and your growth as a mature person too!