*Wapoosh*
Top of the mornin' to ya laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and
You guys ready to Flix and Chill? Well, NETflix and Chill, but you know copyright and all that,
Big ol' bad boy Netflix is going to come down and crunch your nuts into dust if you put their name into something
But we all know it as Netflix and chill. So Netflix and chill, I mean we all know it. We all love it.
We've all said it once or twice in our lives.
*Inhale*
Apparently, it's about bringing people over, sitting down, watching some Netflix,
and the "chill" part of it is taking off all your clothes and
boning by the midnight fire. So, we'll see what happens.
So, it's, uh, I think it's just a dating game and it's been out for a while
and I never got to it because I'm a big old fuckin'
*pause*
STUPID ass - What do I do?
Oh!, Episode 1, Trevor and Samantha
God there's episodes, anthony and Kim fuck yeah, let's do this
Trevor and Samantha, am I just watching a netflix series called flicks and chill
Netflix should really make a series called Netflix and chill if they don't then they're missing out, these people have no faces
Okay, I think this is the place
Fuck yeah, dude. What tickets do I have?
Now where is my date dude dang it? I should have asked for more descriptive pictures
Did you ask for nudes?
What am I doing?, What's up dude are you Samantha?
Hey....
Are you Samantha?
Do I look like Samantha to you man get out of here?
Okay. Are you Samantha? Just gonna work my way through the room dude
Don't even worry about ayy you see my backwards hat that means I'm cool. Hey there oh um hello
You look better than your pictures um
Sorry, do I know you
You're samantha, right?
Sorry, you've got the wrong date Chico. Okay, so sorry. I had the wrong accent for you as well
Have a nice day. Oh, are you Samantha, hey dude. They're all using banana computers instead of apples
Hey, are you Samantha? No, go away.
Okay, you don't have to fucking walk to the door every time be like tennis, re-center to yourself so you have less distance to run
I know what you're going to ask. Ah, you do? and no, you can't touch the beard
Definitely not my date dude. Are you Samantha?
Hey, look, it's Mark behind the counter
Washing cups, YouTube didn't work out eh?
Hey, are you Samantha? Yeah, that's me.
Oh, Thank God finally um who are those people you were talking to?
I thought they may have been you.
What people? I didn't talk to anybody. Oh, just all friends dude
You know London forever good people
Oh really?
How do you know the guy by the window?
Uh, I don't actually
I thought that maybe he was you. I'm sorry, babe
I didn't have much pictures to go on. Ha, what? Jeez, have you been catfished before or something? Oh?
Just paranoid you know
Guess I was just a little paranoid about it, babe. You know.
You never know who can be trolling on the internet uh-huh. You know, I've seen this movie one time, dude got so totally catfished dude
Ha, true true
Hey, dudes
Let me know when you're ready to order and if you need any help. Thanks Kristoff, my dude, my bro, my buddy Pal
Whatever, that's cool. Ah
Let me think, you order first
Okay, let's check out the menu. Ah, I'll have one swizzle stick and maybe a little mistress's milk latte
Just a cup of coffee
All right
Mother's Milk Latte
You talking about some like booby milk? Pumpkin Spice Autumn
Explosion? Holy shit
Super Mocha Frappalappacino
Kinda wanna go for this one.
Oh, the Super Mocha Loca Frappacino? Oh, you my good friend, have great taste. Like this Mocha Loca Frappalappacino
A favorite among chocoholics and stimulant junkies, this beverage is sure to attract quite the crowd
If you want to make an impression of someone, having one of these bad boys, will guarantee it'll leave a mark dude
By the bling of beverages. Don't mind if I do, splashing all that cash
Ah Caching. I'm like, I'm like Lightning McQueen, except I say Caching instead of Cachow
I saw..
Someone linked me picture the other day called Mike Cachowski
and it was like Lightning McQueen with Mike Wazowski's face and arms
You know what, I'll get the Super Mocha Frappalappacino, please. Wow, really? That's the best drink on the menu
You know me, I never settle for anything but the best, babe. That includes dates dude
Oh, right away, sir and may I say your hat just looks...
so dashing.
Oh, uhm, okay.
That'll be $4.75
I'll get the pumpkin spice latte, please. Sorry, I am seeing an explosion accident. This is how I talk!
You've got it, sweetheart. One pumpkin spice latte coming right on up
Let's just saunter our way down here
So, how do you feel about meeting someone on OkStupid?
It's like OkCupid, but we couldn't get the rights to that one. Am I breaking the fourth wall?
Shit
Well, it's great as long as the girls end up looking like their profile pictures
It's my first time actually so I don't know how I feel about it
Yeah me either
I mean, I met a couple of guys on the site, but I don't know. We didn't really make a connection, ya know?
Yeah, that happens
It's kind of hit or miss you know
Yeah
Sometimes I guess you just click with someone on the internet, but in person, I don't know, something's missing I guess
I'm not feeling that right now. I'm feeling that right now. Yeah, I'm sort of feeling that right now, I'm actually kind of tired
I'm gonna go home
I'm not feeling that right now, babe
What do you mean?
I mean, I don't know I feel like I've got some kind of cocaine. I mean, connection you know
Haha yeah, you know I think I feel it too. You seem nice. Can I some of your hair?
Haha, so do you. Ah, here comes our drinks.
Thanks Mark
Yeah
All right, I got one Super Mocha Frappalappa-luppaduppocino and a Pumpkin Spice Autumn Explosions for you guys
Chow down. Oh, oops, spilled some of that drank
Well, thanks a lot man. Yeah, thank you. I swallowed my own saliva, sorry
Well, enjoy then.
Bye
He's probably going off to a record the world quietest let's play 14
So you told me online that you're studying english lit, right? Oh it's so fucking totally lit dude
What made you pick that major? I have a passion for a lighter-ature
It's like book nature. I'm probably going to change my major
I have a.. Uh, I got an athletic scholarship if you couldn't so totally tell
by my backwards cap, so it didn't really matter which major
I chose, but I picked English Lit because I honestly have a passion for all romantic literature
And then I can saw that my major is totally lit dude. Haha fuck
I mean, have you read Othello? Macbeth? The Odyssey?
These books tap into the depths of what it means to be a human
Wow, haha
You're really passionate about literature, I find that very attractive
Hahahahaha, that's called "tell me more about the things"
Haha yeah, I just love it. I mean,
Some stuffy nose in the air stuff. Don't get me wrong, but I just love the way things are worded and shit
You know when you put some words together and it starts to sound like, all like sentences and stuff
I really have a fun time putting together how I feel with sentences like.. man. I could really boogie board right now
Shakespeare was like a word magician
He just pulled his hand into a rabid word hat and just pull out all sorts of made-up words like dust and this
Shakespeare was the bomb.com,
my dude. who can weave thoughts and words together on a beautiful tapestry, which avoids the deepest thoughts and emotions
All was only quill and ink
I could listen to you talk about this all day.
You're so inventive
Okay. Samantha? Jeff?
Oh my god. Oh, oh my God. I didn't even recognize you. Haha yeah. Wow! So nice to see you Jeff.
My name is Jeff!
You look amazing. Haha yeah, you too!
Tell Jeff to back off dude.
*cough cough* Ahem. Oh..
Sorry about that. I'm Jeff, an old friend of Samantha's
Haha, I wouldn't say that old, we boned last week. And you are?
Uhhh
Cross arms and greet self. I'm Jeff, I mean, I'm Theodore. Whatever.
Yo, what's so totally happening my dude. I'm Trevor, nice to meet you Jeff. Do you also get memed a lot? I get that dude.
Pleasure's all mine.
Yeah, I just got back from teaching English to the underprivileged in Midtown. Oh, really?
That's really cool. Huh, ha whatever
I wouldn't call it cool. I mean, it doesn't pay the bills
But I'm giving back to the community, so it does gratify me on an emotional level. I really feel like I'm in touch with nature.
Anyway, I'm afraid I have to go. I'm on a conference call with some of my business associates
We're planning to start a new nonprofit for starving children in Uganda.
He's like trying to be all like super cool and sophisticated like, "I just like to stare out the window I rain and nature and
Just think about our place in the universe" Yeah
I build houses for people in Uguande, like you mean Uganda, he's like no, over there they pronounce it Uguande. They pronounce it you going day
No, no they, no they don't
Wow, that's so cool. We should meet up again soon Samantha, have a drink. You still have my number, I take it
You two have a lovely rest of your
date. I mean, you didn't take her skinny dipping to the top of the Appalachian mountains, but whatever Trevor?
Whatever
Trouve like it's Trevor. Yeah, that's a cool name. See you later
Haha, thanks Jeff. See see see you later. Huh, yeah see you later, dude
Good luck growing that facial hair, if you can even call it that, whatever
Haha, caio dude
That guy he's really nice, but he's so conceited
Samantha you're alright, you get it. Haha yeah, I totally get that vibe
I like the way they sit down. It's just like *plop plop boop*
So, be honest with me. What are you looking for right now?
Just a friend and if it becomes some more
So be it dude
You know who are we to say?
What and what we do not want. Maybe I jump into the pool and then realize I don't want to be in the pool
Maybe I get to the top of the building and realize holy shit, I have a crippling fear of heights. You know stuff changes
I'm just looking for a friend someone I can hang out with and have fun with and then it develops into something more serious
So be it dude. Yeah, I guess that's what I'm looking for - I mean
I definitely wouldn't want to force anything, especially not force my fist up your ass. I mean, hi.
I believe the best relationships, the people start off as good friends first, you know? Take it slow. TAKE IT EASYYYY
Definitely agree, dude.
Homeless Joe. Excuse me, excuse me, does anyone have any change?
Where's, where's Joof when you need him? S'cuse me my friend. Do you have any change to spare?
Sorry, man. I'm as broke as a joke
Excuse me, darling. Can you help a poor old veteran out with some spare change? Ah sure, here you go. *gives him a dollar* Fuck yeah.
Thank you kindly, dear.
What's up, my dude? You look like my dad.I didn't know my dad very often, he left when I was 7.. days old
S'cuse me, lovebirds. Can you spare any change?
Can't help you, go away. I spent all my money on the drinks!
Sorry, I uh, don't have any money. Sure you don't
Little tip: don't date cheap men.
Men who penny pinch in their finances will penny pinch their relationships as well. Well, fuck you homeless Joe.
What a dick.
Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom be back in just a bit. Sure, no problem.
Oh fuck.
You think you're manly with that beard? If that beard makes you manly,
I must be the manliest guy in the world. Hahahahaha aye?
What do you think, aye?
It's a good joke, why aren't you laughing?
Huh, wonder what's taking her so long. Yet, she fucking left with Jeff
Well then
Don't I just have cream cheese all over my face. A game by Jason Lovett
Jason, gonna have to say didn't love it
Okay, well that was chapter one, I guess. Do I get to go onto chapter two now?
I guess I could just play any of them any time I want
So Trevor and Samantha, not meant to be. You know what, sometimes that happens in life
But that was kind of fucked up. I didn't know I had to penny pinch. Well
It wasn't that it was penny pinching. I didn't really have a choice because I spent so much money on my fucking drink
Maybe I'd have more money if I was like oh, I'll just have the pumpkin spice latte
Maybe we should go back and try it out again
See where we can get to. Hey! I think this is the place where my date is! This is her over here!
Samainthey
Hello
Are you Samantha? Yep, that's me. It's good to meet you. It's good to meet you too. Aye dudes, let me know when you're ready to order. Okay.
I'm going to get the pumpkin spice latte. Hey, it's our good ole buddy homeless Joe.
Now we got some money cuz I got me a poomkin spicé
Alright Joe,
I gotcha, sure thing. Sure thing dude, here you go man. Thanks young man, you're a true gentleman. Have a nice day kids.
And don't do drugs. You'll end up like good old homeless joe
Bye, Joe.
Wow, those really kind of you. I didn't know you were so giving. There's a lot you don't know about me yet, smiley emoji, haha
Did you just say smiley emojI out loud? Oh, did I? I guess I'm just so touch with my emotions
You know what I'm saying Sammy
Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom. Be back in just a bit. Sure, no problem
Is she going to leave with Hefe again?
Okay, she's back
Hey! Sorry I took so long coffee gives me the squirts. Actually have no idea
Why I came in here. Ah, it's cool dude. Thought for a second you ditched me. Haha, no way I like you.
What do you say we go someplace else?
Sounds good to me
CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT?
Hell to the yeezy!
We fucking Netflix and chilled it up
That's what I'm talking about. That's my dudes right there. Sam and Trev, together forev
Okay, well I'm gonna leave this episode here of this game here, this one that you're watching.. Flix and Chill
Thank you very much. Chapter one is dunzo. We have made a new lovely couple who are going to have lots of babies and
Maybe not catch rabies. Need to make it rhyme, but I don't have the time
So I might do the Anthony and Kim
Then in the next one and then we have Jasmine and Jake, and Mark and Camilla
Cool, at least I made love happen once today. Love does bloom on a battlefield
I'm glad I went back and actually tried it again instead of just leaving it where it was
But I don't know, I like these like silly little games. Any game that i get to do my own voices
And make up my own little characters, and make up
My own little jokes is the best. Any time that they can make more fun for myself in a video game,
The better, because I just I don't know I get super into it then if I'm able to do all the voices and just add
Extended dialogue onto everything. It's fun! Anyway
Thank you guys so much for watching this episode, if you liked it, punch Jeff in the face
LIKE A BOSS, and homeless joes all around
Thank you guys and I will see all you dudes...
In the next video!
And remember kids, don't do drugs. Cuz you'll end up like good old homeless Joe