He seems like a humble, hometown reporter
but is he just on air or putting on airs.
Best of luck to ya.
This is Bikini Bottom Mysteries.
Probing reporter, Perch Perkins is the comforting,
constant voice of his community.
Perch Perkins here.
But is Perch plucky, perky and prospering?
Or is there something jagged and ugly under his smiling face?
[screaming]
Exhibit A.
A changed fish.
Perch Perkins started out in the small tub
with play-by-plays at local sporting events.
Sure, he was a little shabby, a little absent minded.
Can I get some mustard on that? Oh... First up--
That was part of his folksy charm.
Sorry about that, folks.
But as his career picked up and he moved in front of the camera,
fame changed Perch.
He slicked and shellacked his hair into a camera ready oval,
but his on camera makeover didn't stop there.
He swapped out his scales to match the fashion, flipping from green...
To orange, to purple, and check out that chin.
These days it's smooth as a bull sharks behind.
And that dorsal fin must have had too many rough edges
for smooth talking Perch Perkins,
because he trimmed it off once he hit the big leagues.
- Had a little work done, Perch? - Yes!
But this fickle fish didn't just change on the outside...
Exhibit B.
Spoiled fish.
Sure, Perch Perkins made some big changes to get camera ready.
- Can you blame a guy? - This just in...
But are these changes more than scales deep?
Has Perch Perkins become a prima donna?
This is mutiny!
These days he'll stomp off his own set.
I know it's a slow news day but come on!
Too important for a good old salt of the sea story, Perch?
Everyone else puts on their pants one fin at a time,
but not pant-less Perch Perkins.
All he wears is a snappy blazer because that's all the camera shows.
It seems he's gotten too big for his britches... literally.
- Hey, doofus! - Huh?
Just watch him yank that microphone away from his interviewees.
Yes, sirree.
And shove subjects out of frame.
This is just a teaser.
Seems like Perch thinks he's Neptune's gift to news.
Once a chipper cheerleader.
Here comes Larry, doing his trademark lay back.
Nowadays, Perch will call his viewers bottom feeders.
Hey, all you bottom feeders.
He'll call his guests know it all's.
Miss Cheeks, as Bikini Bottom's resident know it all.
He'll shame this lonely octopus for his choice of date.
The saddest display of loneliness
it has ever been my displeasure to report.
Are we still talking about Squidward here, Perch?
Because all evidence suggests that Perch Perkins,
the nosy news narcissist, the deep-sea diva...
This just in...
[screaming]
Is in a total downward spiral.
Exhibit C.
Floundering.
Perch Perkins has come a long way
from chomping down hot dogs at Goo Lagoon.
He's a culinary king maker.
Bikini Bottom's sensational new upscale eatery, Le Chum Bucket.
Million dollar mogul!
Krabby conspiracy whistle blower.
First I break into the safe and--
Wait, is this live?
He's even covered news in the buzzing metropolis, New Kelp City.
Panic in the streets of New Kelp City.
But is this top dog of TV news spiraling out of control?
How else do you explain
leaping into the highly polluted Goo Lagoon mid broadcast?
This is Perch Perkins and I'm soaking wet... back to you!
News flash, Perch, that's not normal!
And fans of Perch might find this footage shocking.
The second unaffected person is in this dumpster.
Care to comment, sir, on the chaos?
Perch Perkins, how did you know I was in here?
I was napping in this dumpster when you snuck in seeking refuge!
I was napping in this dumpster...
A plea for publicity or a cry for help?
Has he completely lost touch?
Or is he calling out... for connection?
I finally feel like I'm part of something!
I belong!
Could a return to his small town roots be enough
to pull Perch Perkins back from the brink?
Why is the local news always such rubbish?
So who is the real Perch Perkins?
The smooth smarmy newscaster?
The demanding diva?
The off the rails reporter barely holding it together?
Or the hometown hero in headphones just yearning for the simple life?
And now a Bikini Bottom Bonus Mystery!
In this footage, Mr. Krabs calls Plankton a shrimp.
So long, Shrimp!
But look at this actual shrimp, he's the size of a normal fish.
So why would Mr. Krabs call Plankton, who's legitimately tiny, a shrimp?
Perhaps this is a jumbo shrimp?
And if so, how small are normal size shrimp?
As small as Plankton?
[spitting]
File this one under S for Show Us More Shrimp!
Have you seen something strange under the sea?
Leave us a comment and tune in next time
for more investigations that will blow your pores,
strip your scales and flip your fins!
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If the pineapple fits, live in it.