Something has changed in your marriage, but you can't quite
put your finger on it. You're trying not to panic, but you
can't help but shake this feeling that your wife doesn't
love you anymore. Hi, my name is Nathan, and I'm a coach here at
Marriage Helper. I help people every day with marriage
problems, many of whom feel like their spouse no longer loves
them. If this sounds familiar, then let me start by saying that
I'm sorry. I know what this feels like. And let me also tell
you that no matter how bad you feel your marriage is today,
there is hope. We've created this video specifically with you
in mind. In it, you'll discover three things to look for if you
feel like your wife doesn't love you anymore. But first, let me
take just a moment to ask you to thumb up and subscribe to our
channel as we're constantly creating new content to help
people like you support, strengthen, and save their
marriage. Last thing before we dive in, there's a danger in
creating videos like this. You say what do you mean? Well,
anytime you give people things to look for, there's a good
chance they will see it and begin to panic. We've all
experienced this with WebMD. You've got a sore throat and a
runny nose. So you type in your symptoms into the search bar,
and within three minutes, you're convinced that you've got
terminal cancer with only six weeks to live. Don't do that
here. I'm going to give you signs that your wife might not
be in love with you anymore. But just because one or two of these
things are applicable to your marriage does not mean your wife
doesn't love you. Avoid jumping to conclusions, and don't panic.
Please stick around to the end of the video so you can receive
a free resource to help you actually change the dynamic of
your relationship and help you cultivate the kind of love
you're looking for in your marriage.
Okay, without further ado, the first sign your wife may not
love you is that she's distant. You say what do you mean? I
mean, there's more space between the two of you. And this can
take many different forms. One might be that she's physically
more distant. So she sits on the opposite end of the couch; she
doesn't wait for the two of you to walk into a restaurant
together. Maybe you find that the two of you rarely stay in
the same room for very long, or the frequency of your sexual
interactions is lessened or come to a stop. All of these are
examples of your wife physically distancing herself from you. But
physical distance isn't the only thing to look for. Perhaps even
more important to pay attention to is the emotional distance
between you and your wife. You say emotional distance? Uh-huh.
Like your conversations are less frequent, and when you do talk
to each other, it's mostly about facts instead of feelings. You
discuss kids, bills, work, and family. But are you checking in
with each other emotionally? Do you know how she's feeling about
the kids, bills, work, and the family? Have you even bothered
to ask? Another example of emotional distance would be a
lack of levity. When was the last time you guys had a good
laugh? When was the last time the two of you really enjoyed a
moment where you felt like you connected emotionally? When was
the last time y'all just had fun? If it's been a while, and
especially if your wife has ignored your attempts to connect
emotionally, it could be a sign that she may not be in love with
you. The second sign that your wife may not love you anymore is
that she's become more self-centered. You say, Well,
what does this look like? Well, there are a lot of examples I'll
share, but the driving principle here is that your wife's vision
for her life is more about herself than it is about the two
of you together. One telltale sign of this is a lack of us and
we language. Maybe you overhear her on the phone with her mom
talking about my kid's school performance rather than our
kids. Perhaps you see a social media post describing my plans
for the summer rather than our plans. Another sign of
self-centeredness is a failure to include you in her decision
making process. You come home and are surprised to find that
she's completely redecorated the master bedroom, she books a trip
to Cancun without including you in her plans, or she takes a new
job without talking it through with you. Another more obvious
sign of self-centeredness can be seen in the way she talks to you
about how she views the relationship. Maybe you've heard
this before. I've got to focus on myself now, or I can't live
my life for you anymore, or I have to do this for me. If your
wife has become more self-centered, it could be a
sign she's not in love with you anymore. The third thing to look
for is that she's become secretive. There are a lot of
examples of this. Maybe your wife has changed her passwords,
assuming y'all used to share them. Maybe she's locked her
phone and keeps it turned upside down when y'all are sitting down
to eat.
Perhaps she's not telling you where she's going or who she's
hanging out with. All of these are examples of creating an
environment of secrecy, and they could indicate that your wife is
no longer in love with you. Do any of these sound familiar? If
so, which ones? Leave us a comment and let us know. More
importantly, don't panic. Remember what I said at the
beginning of this video. These are signs to look for, but they
by no means offer a complete diagnosis of the attitudes and
emotions of your wife. And perhaps most importantly, don't
take these signs as advice on what to do to fix your
relationship. They're descriptive, not prescriptive.
You say, what do you mean? Well, one of the worst things you can
do is to conclude that your wife is distant and then decide to
suffocate her with your presence. Or maybe you've
realized your wife has become self-centered, and your plan is
to tell her to stop being so selfish. Or perhaps you're
realizing that your wife is being secretive, and so you
decide to try and to break into her phone or email, or god
forbid, you put a tracker in her car. No, don't do any of that
unless you want to make matters worse. That's what this is for.
We've designed a free online mini-course to help you avoid
the things that will push your wife away and to do the things
that can actually spark some attraction back in your
direction. Remember, there is hope. Our purpose at Marriage
Helper is to help you find that hope and give you the tools to
further live into the hope of a better, stronger marriage. We've
actually created a similar video for wives to help them detect
signs that their husband may not be in love with him anymore.
Here's a link to that video if you want to check it out. Thanks
for watching.